What's Happenin' During Lent! :)

Ok.....this may be cheating. But I'm gonna dance with the "gray area." I gave up Facebook for Lent. I have logged in only to reply to a couple of messages and grab contact info for folks. As a "social media".....I'm off til Easter. Do you KNOW how much down time I've used to scroll through facebook? The idea is now to use that time to spend with God and to help me in my relationships with and through Him. Its workin! :)

I do miss the day to day contact I have with those I ONLY have contact with is through FB, the laughs and being "in the know".....because if "its ON Facebook, it MUST be true" right??? :) But it will be Easter soon, and I'll be back. I still peak at Instagram.....I love following my friends and their lives.

I'm blogging because so much has happened. Im not even sure of the last time I posted. I just know I need to bring my journal "up to speed" and document some pretty neat things going on at the Bakers'! :)

First a "health update"....

I had my 3 month checkup and scans back in January. Got the "reaffirmation" of the "All Clear".....so again....nasty ole' Cancer.....Take THAT! BAM!! :) Still in remission and praying it stays that way. I still despise Blue Cross....and am in the process of writing to the Insurance Commissioner AND the Better Business Bureau regarding my claims. Worst case at this point....the "pre-existing" clause will be lifted April 15. One way or another I can move forward with coverage.

It was wonderful seeing my AOA family.....I miss them so very much. They were a part of my day to day journey and got me through the roughest of times. I just love and miss them.....:(

I go back on April 15th. A little over a month and I'll have my 6 month checkup. If a good report, I will be scheduling my port removal at some point. And later in the fall, I am going to start some consultations and considering reconstruction. I miss my boobies! :)

I've been dieting. Lost 17 lbs to date. Fact: Oreos are the devil. And both Wal-Mart and Kroger have huge displays of the new "MEGA stuff" oreo. They are EVERYWHERE....tempting me with their goodness. Double stuff wasn't enough.....Dude. These cookies are awesome. I have always hated eating them in public. For some reason, they are messy....get in your teeth, yuk. But my addiction starts about 9 pm......I hide a pack by my bed and can eat a package in a week. Im quite sure I'd have lost 27 by now if they hadn't invented these.

 

 

Still....I'm back on the diet. I still hate dieting. 1000 cals a day. No caffeine or diet sodas. I drink at LEAST this every day:   That's 100 ounces folks!   :)

 

 

No fun. But seeing progress so I'm ok with that. I'm taking Adipex. I'm sure to get a million scoldings for putting that out there.....but this blog has always been from an honest place. It aided me in losing my weight before so I'm back on the crutch. I DID consult my oncologist first. And while I didn't completely get his "blessing".....I did get a gentle nod and a "I don't think you need them". Chemo blew me back up .....that's my story and I'm sticking to it!" I worked too hard and I've gotta get it back off.

I'm back at work full time.....and chasin my kiddos in their activities. I feel really good, just still really tired and I tucker out a lot quicker than I used to. Zero energy. Its frustrating because many people don't understand. I'm 4 mos. out of chemo.....but my body is still adjusting. I want to exercise.....but my sleep isn't consistent and its a struggle many days just to keep up.

I have hair!  Nope....nothing to really brag about.  This would be a great time for someone to have a 70's party.  I could totally rock a 'fro right now!  I look goofy and the hats are still a staple in my wardrobe.  Here is why......ugggggg!  Glad he loves me anyway!  :)

Please pray that I can snap back to normal soon.  I don’t want to miss another day of this amazing life! 

A pictoral timeline of a few key “goings on” lately:
* I had a birthday..... still "forty-something"  :)

 

 

Can I just say that Facebook Birthdays are the best!!!!  So many sweet wishes and each one brought a smile to my face!  :)  My friends and family made it super special as always.  Makes getting old not so bad!

 

*  Valentine's Day is once again so much fun for me!  Look at my goodies:

 

Roses and Coach perfume from my sweet David and a bracelet from my kiddos.  I felt loved!  :)

 

*  Sammy’s driving.  Lord help me.  Do you know how hard it is to hand over a set of keys to your child?  February 17 he was legal.  So far, no issues and he is doing great.  I still hold my breath until I get that “Mom I made it….love ya” text.  But can I also tell ya how nice it is that he can get himself everywhere he needs to go???  And get Syd most places SHE needs to go? Insert the choir singing “Halleluiah!”  here.  Wow.  It is such a blessing.

 

His first truck!  :)

 

 

Their first Sonic run.  Silly kiddos!  :)

 

 

He let me go to Happy Hour this time!  :)

His first week wasn’t without a tad of drama though of course.  The first night we let him drive somewhere, He had a blowout.  As if that wasn’t enough….he drove all the way home on it because he didn’t know that is what happened.  About 7 miles.  It was sitting on the rim.  Lordy…..I don’t know how he kept it on the street!  SMH.  

Then, a week into it, we had his eyes checked.  When he took the eye test at the DMV, he struggled so I made the appointment.  The kid was not LEGAL to drive!  His eyes were 20/150!!!  Thankful for the angels leading the blind that week.  He is now in contacts…..says its like the world was in HD now!  Poor guy.  Bad Momma moment right there friends.  I bet his batting average sees some improvement now that he can actually SEE the ball!  J

I won’t mention that Syd now has glasses ordered as well for her and for some reason they sold me a pair of Bi-focals.  I’m sure I don’t really need them.  Or I can blame it on the chemo……

I'll post pics of our new family with specs as soon as they come in! 

*  Baseball season in full swing.  Favorite time of year with some of my favorite people. This is from our "family day" a couple of weeks ago.  I'm still his biggest fan!

 
* Dance tryouts for Syd are just around the corner.  Lord help me.  I may need to be a “medicated momma” that week.  Please say a special prayer for us!  Thank goodness God sent us Amber Bohannon.  She is working hard with Syd again this year.  Very blessed! 

* We FINALLY got rid of my lemon of a vehicle.  Talk about a relief. It left us on the side of the road AGAIN.....and I was done.  I'm now so happy God provided the means for us to get into something reliable.  That is one stress eliminated from my life completely.

 

We love it!

 

* The kids and I participated at another Cardboard Testimony at my brother's church.  Very moving and powerful..I am so proud of the man of God he really is and the work he is doing bringing so many to Christ.  My mom is so proud.  I just know it!

*  My friend Gina is getting hitched!  I'm excited and honored to have been asked to be a bridesmaid at her wedding, June 8th.  Please pray for Gina and Lynn as they begin their life together. 

 * SPRING FORWARD!  The kids and I made it official and are joining FBC.  I am getting baptized this coming Sunday, the 10th.  I am busy trying to write my testimony from an honest place.  Its kinda tough when you have walked "a mile in my shoes" so to speak.  I will share my words here at a later date.  Please pray for me as I re-dedicate my life to our God and start my new walk.  I am like a kid at Christmas.  I can not wait! 

I was born and raised in church.  Baptized as an infant.  Confirmed as a young child.  But this is the first time I've made the solid choice to stand in front of so many friends, family, and people that I look up to, whom I honor, and even some who intimidate me....to confess that I've led a life with many times of "seperation from God" and want to change that.  Oddly enough, its going to be also daylight savings time change day.  To me...."Spring Forward" will have a whole new meaning.  I am walking forward with my future in a whole new life.

I am not just going through the motions, friends.  I truly want to become "dead in my sins" and change my future.  With this is a great seriousness and a huge responsibility.  I know that it means my life is changing.  My outlook will be much different.  The people in my life will see that change and may or may not like and/or adapt to it.  I'm just trusting in my God that he will lead me exactly where I need to be.  Just like He always has.....I just now am trusting His guidance completely and like never before. 

I'm sure I will fail at times.  But I'm now holding myself to a much higher standard.  And expect those around me to hold me there also.  Being Godly in this world is tough.  And boy....do I have a long way to go.  Proverbs 31 is my guide......to be a woman like that......Wow!  Stay with me friends....and pray for me on this journey.  Trust me....the heartache I've suffered, and the heartache I have even caused......the road I've traveled.  If I can be right with God.....I believe anyone can.  Maybe my testimony will be worth it....Just maybe. :)

"Surely Your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.  Psalm 23:6

In Him,
Terri

PS:  Two special prayer requests.....Please pray for my friends, Clay and Stacey Cunningham as they begin their journey to adopt a child......Pray that God's hand be on them every step of the way!

 

 

Also, my dear friend and Chi-O sister, Hallie is just completed her 3rd treatment.  Please keep her in your prayers.  I know the journey she is on is tough but will pass.  God is our ultimate healer.  For you my sweet friend......



 

 

 

 

 

I'm baaaaa.....ccccckkkkk! :)

I've not blogged in a while.  I pretty much have a laundry list of reasons, but in all honesty, I guess they would all be excuses......Very busy, no time, no energy.....blah blah blah.  Mostly, I've just not been doing well.....emotionally.....and the old adage is true, if ya write it down or say it out loud.....it makes it real.  I didn't want to write down every single thing that is bugging me. I can't stand whiners.  I'm simply gonna whine though!  lol

The last couple of days, I was reminded how much blogging helped me to get through probably the roughest year of my life.  So....here I am again.  To test out the theory and write in order to sort out my thoughts.  First...a medical rundown.  I'm just a few days shy from being 3 months out of chemo.  September 21 was my last treatment from the 8 round regimine I was under.  Physically?  I am getting stronger everyday.  Back at work full time.  Mommy schedule has been full blown on the go and I've kept up with it!  My energy level isn't quite back yet like I'd like it to be and that is frustrating.  I could honestly come in after work and take a 2 hour nap everyday if my schedule would allow that.  Can't quite figure out if its the chemo aftermath, being a single mom, or just plain getting old.....but I'm really tired at night.  Really tired.

I have gained most all of my weight back that I'd lost before my diagnosis.  And I'll start a diet, and do good for about a week, and then bam!  I'm back into the donuts.  Its crazy folks....I actually will hide the evidence.  I'll be at a stoplight wolfing down one (or 2) in the 3.2 seconds it takes me to get from Shipley's to my office.....all the while hiding it from other cars!  Its bad enough I don't like to eat in front of my co-workers.....but to hide me taking a bite from total strangers in the car next to me?  I'm weird!  I worked so hard to get the weight off before.  This has me down.  Really down.  I don't feel like exercising.  And I like to eat.  So there you have it......I'm fat.  For a while, I was hoping it was due to the extensive amount of steriods I was taking.....but now I don't know.  :(

My body aches most daily.  I still have the port and its pretty uncomfortable.  My hands hurt, which is a bit of a struggle.  I STILL haven't been able to get all thank you notes written and mailed.  Christmas cards are just not going to happen!  :) And yes, "Chemo brain" is a real thing.  I'm usually a perfectionist at work.  And I've made errors that were so silly.  I have learned to write EVERYTHING down.  I simply can't remember!  Frustrating.  I've been told that gets better.  I hope so.  Its driving me crazy!

I'm sleeping very little.  Which in turn makes me grumpy.  Since chemo, my body has been forced into full blown menopause.  And because of the cancer, I'm not allowed to be prescribed any kind of hormone therapy.  Ever.  So its effects....the weight gain, the hot flashes.....OH the hot flashes.....are miserable. 

My hair is growing back.  Mostly blonde....ok....I cannot tell a lie.....gray.....hehehe.  But I joked with the kiddos a few days ago...that I acutally had "bed head" a little one morning!  :)  Won't be long until I can get rid of the hats......as SOON as its long enough to get to a colorist.  :)  I also have started to be able to wear a little "mascary" (as Syd used to say) .....so maybe soon I won't be so "scary".....ha!  :)  I've never been a really vain person.....but I really feel like like look horrible....and that in itself is discouraging.  Every woman wants to feel pretty.  This really took alot from me....from my appearance.....from my womanhood.

My kids don't quite understand.  To them?  The cancer's gone, the chemo is over, mom's back, so let's get over it.  I get that.  I really do.  I'm not sick anymore so I should be back to my old self.  I fake it most of the time.  And the guilt consumes me when I dread ballgame nights or having to run them here and there.....because I'd rather just go home.  And rest.  Those who know me....know that disappointing my children is right up there as bad as having cancer for me. 

The depression has set in.  There's even a name for it...."rebound depression." While its in the back of my mind.....that the cancer may/is likely to come back at some point in my life....I don't sit and worry about it.  I just feel so alone sometimes.  Even in a crowded room.  I feel robbed of my spirit.  I held it together pretty good while going through it all.....ironic how NOW I fall apart.....mainly on the inside.  And of course to David.  Thank God for David. 

I try to hide it from most.  Fake it most days.  I decked out the house for Christmas.  Hosted Thanksgiving at my house.....2 seperate gatherings, in fact.  My friends are sheilded from what's going on inside of me.  I just want to hide under the covers.  I look like a mess.  I cry at the drop of a hat.  I feel like a failure as a mom.  Christmas is usually my favorite time of the year.....But with bills piling up....trying to recover from being out of work so long.......I feel like I will NEVER get back on my feet.  My house payment is late, my bank account overdrawn, every OTHER bill is due and my children are excited about Christmas.  I'm so angry with myself that I didn't have an appropriate emergency fund to prepare for all that this took from us.  I am just a complete mess.  While the worry simply overwhelms me.....I still try with all that I am to focus on how completely blessed I am.  Without the generosity from SO many.....Our situation would be completely tragic.

If it weren't for my closest and best friends.  My David.  My kiddos.....and most importantly my God, I don't know where I'd be, or what I'd do.  Thanks to Deb, Dione, and so many others last week, they met a need.  I was able to do a little shopping for the kiddos.  Others have met simple needs in other ways......So I know in my head and in my heart that even though I "feel" alone. I am not. 

As I think of the Sandy Hook tragedy....I realize that once again, my priorities needed an "adjustment".  This Christmas could have taken a very different path for my kiddos, without the prayers and treatment I received this year.  I can wrap them up and hold them tight.  I can share so many memories and much more with them that other parents can not.  In a few years, they won't remember how much or how little is under the tree.  But they will remember building gingerbread houses together......watching Christmas movies.......worshipping together and praising our God for what Christmas is REALLY about.  They will remember our laughs and silliness that without a doubt fill each and every day.  For we really received the best gift of all many years ago......our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. 

In a world of so much evil.....We can only turn to God.  Its sad that we have to lock our doors, pray for safety in our schools, look around us at all times as we walk into Wal-mart, are forced to hide simple things like medications in our own home, have to shield our children from the news, yet are forced to share much of it with them for their own protection and safety.  Our world is so dark.  I have shared this on facebook.....but my sweet friend, Billie, who also leads my SS class, shared this on Sunday.....written by Max Lucado, its worth praying daily through this season.....

Dear Jesus,

It’s a good thing you were born at night. This world sure seems dark. I have a good eye for silver linings. But they seem dimmer lately.
...

These killings, Lord. These children, Lord. Innocence violated. Raw evil demonstrated.

The whole world seems on edge. Trigger-happy. Ticked off. We hear threats of chemical weapons and nuclear bombs. Are we one button-push away from annihilation?

Your world seems a bit darker this Christmas. But you were born in the dark, right? You came at night. The shepherds were nightshift workers. The Wise Men followed a star. Your first cries were heard in the shadows. To see your face, Mary and Joseph needed a candle flame. It was dark. Dark with Herod’s jealousy. Dark with Roman oppression. Dark with poverty. Dark with violence.

Herod went on a rampage, killing babies. Joseph took you and your mom into Egypt. You were an immigrant before you were a Nazarene.

Oh, Lord Jesus, you entered the dark world of your day. Won’t you enter ours? We are weary of bloodshed. We, like the wise men, are looking for a star. We, like the shepherds, are kneeling at a manger.

This Christmas, we ask you, heal us, help us, be born anew in us.

Hopefully,

Your Children

If I have any readers left out there....please pray for me.  Pray that I can continue to keep our home a "happy place" for my children. That I can make good financial  decisions and be a leader of my home.  That I can be a great friend.  As good a friend to others as they have been to me.  Please pray that I can walk away from some that I care about.....but just aren't good for me.  Pray for THEM, and that they get the help they really need.  That I can continue to forgive others.....as forgiveness has been shown to me throughout my life. Pray for my children.....that they continue to be my rocks while I'm trying to get back to "business as usual." Pray that I can receive forgiveness from them at some point for the struggle we are under.  Pray for David.  That he knows how much I appreciate his patience and understanding throughout this year.  I know some may made a run for it.  He may wish he had! ha   Pray for my Sam -- as he is driving now.....(might throw one up there for those in his path!  ha) Pray for my Sydney.  Just because.  I love them so much. Pray for some dear friends of mine who are struggling as well....for God knows their needs.  Pray that my cancer is really GONE.....and that my scans in January agree with that.  Pray for those still fighting the hard fight......and their families.  Pray that the Sandy Hook victims can find some light and peace during this Christmas.

Ya know....I think I DO feel a little better. :) I may keep on bloggin a while. While my prayer list is as long as my grocery list......I know He listens!  :)   Im still working on my "guest writer" entry that I will most like post here when its finished.  I also have been approached some time ago about sharing an entry from a man whose wife fought my battle, and he would like to share HIS thoughts.  I will be doing that very soon. 

I know how very blessed I am.  I know that I have SOOOO much to be incredibly thankful.  Trust me, I am.  I've not understood these feelings of anxiety and depression I have been having.  Stresses of the holidays, coupled with rebounding back into my life.  Its tough, guys.  Glad I've got my "village."  We serve a mighty God!

Until next time.....I hope everyone around me is blessed with an absolutely PERFECT Christmas! 
In  Him,
Terri

The Race...Picture Tribute!

This post is like all the others in that I could write page after page of all the wonderful things going on around me.  I find myself in bed early tonight....finally rested after a busy and exciting weekend.  So many emotions....all wonderful....

Team Terri rocked it OUT!!!!!  

Pictures worth more than a thousand words:

Chi Omega Love!!!!!   <3

 

Some of my BEAUTIFUL Benton friends.....<3

 

Ang & Debra!  <3

 

 

The table was beautiful and food yummy!  <3

 

JUST in case the firemen ran out.....Pink Beads!  <3

 

Like no time has passed....smiles on every face....laughter was heard!  xoxoxoxoxoxo

 

Cupcakes from "Fat Bottom Girls" Cupcakes.....need I say more????  <3

 

High School Friends.....I love my Newport peeps!  <3

 



 

New Friends!  <3 

 

Jon = Proof that "Real Men Wear Pink"  <3

 

Daughters......Exactly WHY we need a CURE!  <3 <3 <3

 

 

RACE DAY!!!!!

 

Back of Team Terri Shirt.....Psalm 119:50 <3

 

Front of Team Terri Shirt.....Love it!!!!  <3

 

 

 

Why I walk.....This is for you, Mom!  Oh, how I miss you!  <3

 

This pic just makes me smile!  Chi Omega....Sisters forever!  <3

 

My brother's family!  Precious!!  <3

 

 

My David....<3 -- Another Real Man in Pink!  <3

 

 

I love Ms. Annette!  This is what a "survivor" looks like!  <3

 



 

Team Terri has friends in high places!  Shane Broadway and Gov. Beebe!  <3

 

Sweet Jana.  She made all of this possible!  Love Love Love her!!!!  <3

 

 

Jon & Holly.....Cute Couple in "Pink"  <3

Race is serious business.....:))



 

My mom's best friend throughout her entire life.....Judy.  I love her!!!!  <3  I'm sure my mom is smiling at this pic!  

 

Lotsa laughs throughout with Kimmie & Susan!  Love these girls!  <3

 

Love Lonna....and glad baseball places her in my path!  <3

 

My sistas.....Marsha and Jana!  <3

 

More laughs!!!  :)  I looked like a dork....but did NOT care!  :)

 

Another sisterhood pic!  <3

 



 

That pink tractor was just cool!!!! 

 

 

Sweet kiddos....Sam and Jacee!

 

 

 

Man!  That's a LOT of pink.....:)

 My beautiful friends...Traci and Lori!  <3

 

My BFFs right there! Love these girls!  So beautiful!  They NEVER left my side!

 

 

Our best attempt at a group pic.....not everyone....but here is Team Terri!  <3

 

 

 

I love you mom.....

Momma HAD Cancer....:))

Guess I can appropriately change the name of my blog now....to Momma "HAD" Cancer.....  My God, my Team and I sorta kicked its butt a little!  :)

Met with Dr. Sneed on Monday to "formally" discuss my scans that I had following my last treatment.  I got the "all clear" that I've....correction....WE have been praying for in recent weeks.  Some call it "clinical remission".....others "cancer free"....I believe I will call it God's miracle.  His love never failed me.  Not even once.   I don't go back until January!  :)  Praise The Lord!!

Unfortunately, I've gotta take care of some "housekeeping"......
I've been hesitant about continuing to blog.  I've been working on this post for a while.  Funny how some people are.  Most of my "readers" (gosh....that came out like I am a Best-Selling author or something....ha!  I know that isn't the case!)  have had nothing but encouraging and positive things to say.  "Inspiration" has been a word I've heard frequently.  "Strong" is another one.  Funny, I've felt neither of those a majority of the time.  I have TOTALLY written this blog from an honest place.  Sad that I feel forced to defend it......which is why I've not written in a bit.  There are acutally those out there that have taken my words and twisted their meaning and their intention and even used them against me.  Not to my face of course.....:)  I would welcome negtive comments openly.....but gossiping seems to be MUCH more enjoyable. I know because I, too, have been guilty of this.  Sadly. I know who ya are and what ya said.  :))  Yep....it hurt.  But....I realize the devil likes to creep in......hiding behind the Bible to do his work.  So after some soul searching.....I am back.  I have so much more to say.  And I'm not going to worry anymore about how "it looks to others" or whatever.  They've not traveled in my shoes.  Nor do they really know me.  So why should it bother me?  Im choosing to no longer let it.  I forgive you.  And hope you learn as I have. 

I will no longer DEFEND my actions, my blogs, my facebook statuses, my words, my faith, OR my need to share God's grace.  Period.  This right here...is MY space.  And if the devil uses even ONE gossipy woman to say something ugly and shut this down.....then I am the weak one.  Am I perfect?  Heck fire no!!  Do I make bad decisions and mistakes?  You betcha.  My friends and family and my Lord love me anyway.  Anyone who doesn't....just quite frankly isn't welcome here.  So....take that Satan!!!! Bam! Lesson learned.....and I'm now a stronger "more informed" person! Blessings in disguise.....I tell ya!  I love to share scripture, songs, or whatever helps me to stay on the right path on a certain day. Does it make me better than you?  Absolutely NOT!  Just maybe it can help others too.  And quite frankly, I'm gettin old and forgetful.  This is my life here......And I love it.

I have tickets to Casting Crowns Saturday night and I Can.Not.Wait!!!  They are my favorite.  I've been listening to almost nothing but this week getting pumped up to worship with them and siked that I will know EVERY word to EVERY song!  :)  Its on the eve of Sam's 16th birthday.  What a way to bring it in....by worshipping together!  We have so much to celebrate!!  Anyway,  as I was struggling with the aftermath of hearing some mean and ugly things....this song came on......

Jesus IS a friend of sinners, just like me.  Let us reach with open hearts and open doors.....Break our hearts for what breaks Yours.  Pickin on me when I was down is kinda wrong.  Down right mean.  But Jesus taught us to forgive.  So I am.  I'm a happy happy girl!  I no longer want to be held captive by others' mistakes either.  Feels good!!!

Cancer hasn't necessarily been a negative thing for me.  It has changed my perspective so much.  Of course it was a miserable experience phyically.  But....it has shown me how my own thoughts and past mistakes have been keeping me captive for so long.  I have finally found the courage to release the hold I had on MYSELF.  That is possible folks.....due to God's grace.  Facing your own mortality can be a really scary place without the grace we are all promised.  Its there....we just have to accept it.  I'm not any less human than I was before. I still screw up and use my words unwisely at times.  But the fact that I catch myself and recognize it.....makes me a better Christian.  Makes me a more devoted child of God. 

I'm not known for being very tactful.  In fact, I'm pretty blunt to a fault.  I'm well aware that this post is pretty "in your face" and I'm likely to take some heat for it.  I'm openly aware of my sins and trying to be slow to point out those of others.  My circle is small....but oh so close.  Cancer has brought so much goodness.  I will probably write about it for many years to come.  Friends.  Ones I barely knew before are now on my speed dial.  Ones I may have hurt before.....who forgave.  Ones I haven't seen in years and years.....who I talk to daily.  Ones who have stood by me before my diagnosis and continue to do so today.  Ones who aren't just on a "bandwagon".....to help the chick with cancer.  Childhood buddies who contact me almost dialy to let me know I'm loved.  Strangers I NOW call friends who have offered us aid in so many different ways.  Folks....God was movin in my life to make sure we were taken care of! 

My kids have been soldiers of courage.  It has been such a rough time on them.  Due to the kindness of others I was able to provide for them and even "treat them" at times.  I had one friend earmark money to buy Syd her "first day of school" outfit....because she knows how important it is for little girls to feel pretty on the first day.  Bonus?  We can share clothes!  haha  Many have given gift cards to various restraunts so that we can enjoy dinner as a family out on occasion.  Movie passes.  The list goes on and on.  So many have fulfilled needs and the gaps in my budget so that I can still have those "feel good mom moments" of a few "extras."  It always has and will be all about them.  My children are my world and will be until I take my last breath.

We are still struggling to get back on our feet.  The aftermath of being unable to work, the travels into LR for dr appts, prescriptions and Doctor bills have hit us hard.  God has continued to provide for our every need.  I'm back at work and feel awesome!!!  My little team is getting there.....one day at a time.  The only way I know how to thank everyone is by paying it forward.  God will use my work in progress to hopefully lift someone else up who may have my journey in their future.  Not a day goes by that I don't thank God for it all.

My cancer is gone.  But its effects....both good and bad....remain forever.  I can look and the mirror and see what all it has taken from me.  But I can look into my heart and see what all it has given me.  That's the good stuff!!!

Saturday is Race for the Cure.  My team is nearly 100 strong.  100 people who are joining me in walking with thousands of others on Saturday to fight for a cure.  My mom is ironing her pink outfit in heaven.....for preparation.  I can just see her!  ha   Better watch out Cancer....we comin after you!!!  :) 

In Him,
Terri

That's all Folks!!! :)

I'm gonna have to "catch up" this blog in several entries I think.  SOOOO much has happened over the past week or so!  I'm overwhelmed at exactly where to start......but can't go another day without blogging my thoughts. 

First....I'll shout from the rooftops!!!  NO MO CHEMO!!!!!!!!!   Yippeeee!!!  Had my last treatment on 9/21.  This day was complete with emotion from before dawn...til WAY past dark.  Started off arriving at the high school for the "daybreak" pep rally about 5:45 am.  Today was the "Salt Bowl"....a Saline County Holiday of sorts.  Benton vs. Bryant at War Memorial Stadium.  Over 20,000 fans were there to root on their favorites.....this rivarly runs deep my friends.  ESPECIALLY with a dog in the fight!  For my Newport friends.....Bryant is our "Batesville"....:)  For Razorback Fans....Bryant is our "Alabama".....ya get the idea.....

Anyway....my day started early... Pep Rally.....Breakfast.....Kiddos to School....work....another Pep Rally.....Back to work.....and off to chemo at 1.  From Chemo....went to the Salt Bowl and all of its festivies.  Things didn't go quite our way for my Sam or the Panthers.  But I watched my son grow in integrity through his struggles and am one proud momma!

I walked into the chemo room with a different feeling today.  My labs showed that today would in fact be the "finale".....:)  Got hooked up to my bags....and settled in.  The Benedryl took effect immediately and I dozed off under a blanket when I heard the commotion coming up the hallway.....
Lordy it was a party!  :)  And I do mean party.....

At first sight....they got the ugly cry, you know....the kind that looks like "Will Smith" in the movie "Hitch".....swollen eyes, red nose.....the works....

I was so overwhelmed with love, suprise, and just pure joy.  They took time from their lives, their jobs, to come be with me on this final leg of this sprint.  Many who couldn't be there.....and I DO mean probably over a hundred....sent texts, emails, FB messages, sweet words and gifts to me.  I have had SUCH a team on this journey.....I am just so blessed.

I was met with cake - TWO cakes, "kid friendly" champagne, balloons, confetti, presents, a "No Mo Chemo sash", and even a crown!  Most of all the VERY best of friends.  I think my Sonya was the ring-leader.....with the help of many I'm sure, to pull this off.  I'm up in EVERYONE's business, so not sure how they pulled this off without me knowing.....but they did.  In fact, I came to chemo alone....expecting Sonya to pop in with chocolate and Deb to swoop in on two wheels with hugs.....but that's all.  My Syd had begged me to check out of school and come with me that day.  But I was certain it was a ploy to get out of school....and she had tests and dance practice that day.  So I said, "nice try.". 

In walks the following:
Sonya, and her daughters....Bailey and Kenzie, Shane and her three.....Nick, Victoria, and Annie, Gina, Deb, Becca, Brandie, Michelle, Jack, John, and Karen.  These along with the AOA staff...Linda, Carolyn, Jill, Josh, Beverly, Brenda, Charlene and the rest,......and even Dr. Sneed!  Usually, Im alone in the chemo room....but today, there were a couple of other patients that got to join in the fun! 

I haven't gotten all of the pics yet....but here are few from the day I had on my phone:

First....Sonya:  Adorned in pink for the occassion, and even "pole danced" with me on my IV pole!  hehe  Will she EVER know what she means to me????  Ever???

 

Then my Shane.....:)  Beautiful Friend.....Love her so....

 

 

My "Clinic Boyfriend"..... Josh.  And a forever friend....:)

 



 

The best oncology nurses on the PLANET....Carolyn and Linda.  Love them!  :)

 

 

Dr. Sneed.....my HERO!  In his words...."He and I are going to be friends a LONG time!"  :)

WIG FUN!

I got pictures made with everyone there.....but not with my camera, so I've not gotten them just yet.  But I will post a follow up to this blog with a complete album!  My cake(s) were adorable, the children were precious. Everyone sipping champagne in colored stem glasses, the balloons,.... And all my friends that were there physically, and there in spirit.  I will never forget.....

Such emotion and heart-felt love.

I walked out of AOA that last day consumed with tears.  These people have gotten me through such a tough journey.  I won't allow myself to think about a reoccurance today.  The thing is....it has brought many blessings and so defined all of the relationships in my life.  Those who have been a friend to me unselfishly.  Those who are there for me without fail.  Those who came into my life as a RESULT of the cancer.  Those who came BACK into my life to reach out in love.  Those who were there before and never left my side.  All of which, I know will be there for me and with me should my future include another fight.  It has strengthend my relationship with my God and inspired me to be a better Christ follower.  It has taught me to trust, and to see things so clearly.

I sometimes take notes for things I want to blog about.  Sometimes I just sit down and the words come.  When I hit "publish" oftentimes I'm just as suprised at what I've written as my readers.  "Chemo Brain" has caused me to sometimes forget things I really want to write about.  But I will have posts in the future....that will highlight those who are so dear to me....that have touched me beyond measure.  Those who will kill me and will be recognized against their will.  Those who don't want or need a "pat on the back" or to be recognized to feel appreciated.  Those who give lovingly as Christ would and have repeatedly given to me in both big and small ways out of just plain love.

So get ready....David, Sonya, Shane, Jana, my AOA family, Deb, Leigh, Marsha, Sandy....and many others.....you're gonna get your OWN post dedicated to my love for YOU.....very soon.  These people have given their time, their words, their presence, their prayers, their service, their money, their everything to be a friend and caretaker for me.  From diagnosis to present.  They don't use the words, "I've done enough"......They are true to their word and have never let me down.  Many times, at the expense of their families, and very large inconvenience to be there for me and to just help.  They never keep score.  They don't question.  They give of themselves with a willing heart and have taught me so much.  Their families have shown much love to me too....in allowing me to borrow them for times in need and they were happy to do so.

I realize how this might get me into trouble with some.  There are many many folks who have stepped up in large ways and in small ways.  I can't possibly write about everyone.  I have written about many in the past.  And I've been praying and searching for answers from above on this issue. I certainly don't want to hurt any feelings.  It's not my intention at all.  What my God has told me is this......the book of James tells us that every "good and perfect gift comes from above"......and that if someone gets angry then they weren't giving with the right heart in the first place.  So.....there you have it.  I can't close this chapter without writing about my love for some of these special people.  And what's incredible is whether I thank them in a blog, on a note, with a gift, or never mention them again.....each of them would do it all again in a heartbeat.  Their "gifts" were from above.  With.Out.Question.  That's not to say that I feel like anyone will be hurt.....but its my fear, and I simply won't defend this again. 

I'm starting to feel better again.....and am going to start my own "Look Good, Feel Better" campaign.  Come Monday.....its diet time.  Gotta get the weight back off.  Gained 15 of the 41 that I'd lost.  That just plain ticks me off.....UGgggg!!  I should feel well enough to begin hitting the track again.  Got a couple of weeks before the race....Gotta get at it!  I'm going to continue working for my God and keeping a close relationship with him.  Momma's back!  I'm going to cherish every single second with my kiddos and love them more!  :)  I want to be present in church and Sunday School and active at church, since I've not felt good in so long.  I'm ready!  :)

I've wondered if I want to continue the blog.  And the truth is.....I do.  I do it for myself.  Not sure if very many read it.  But again....I do it for me.  You'll probably see alot of diet related posts....and silly entries about my daily crazy life.  It's just the right mixture of chaos and love!  I want to journal my prayer requests so that I can continue to see right before my eyes just how much my God works and answers each and every one.  I want to remember each and every memory with my kiddos, my family, my David, and my friends. 

The Race for the Cure is coming up.....and our Team Terri has grown to almost 60 members.  If you know of anyone who doesn't have a team....please share this with them.  Team Terri tshirts (optional) are also available but I have to know by Wed. at the latest.  Time is of the essence.  My Chi-O sister and dear friend, Jana, has worked so hard to get this together.....Never losing sight of its purpose.  To find a cure for our daughters.  Whatever YOUR goal.....Whomever YOU are honoring or remembering.....Join today!  :)

http://arkansas.info-komen.org/site/TR?team_id=219501&pg=team&fr_id=2568&et=qATXPFdSpC7h4DIor992Vw&s_tafId=90954

I have a couple of prayer requests please:

I have a couple of friends who are hurting for various reasons.  God knows their needs....please pray these unspoken needs.

My sweet friend Kara, pregnant with her first baby boy, Luke.  Kara has gestational diabetes, and has some medical fears along with those of generally being a new mommy.  She is precious to me.  Lift Kara, her husband, Thomas, and baby Luke in prayers in the weeks to come.  God be with my Kara and comfort her in ways only HE can!

And myself.  I go Wednesday for my scans.  I pray that they are all clear and with No Evidence of Disease.  I wanna dance with NED!  :)  I am a little anxious for the results.  I don't wanna jump the gun and rename this blog..."Momma HAD Cancer...."  :)  Lord, hear our prayers!

Finally.....Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  Check your boobies ladies!  Don't wait.  It makes ALL the difference in the world.....if ya don't believe me, you haven't heard my story.  Back up and read a few blogs.  Be aware!  And remember those who have fought the battle and won the fight.....and for those who sacrificed the battle and gained His glory.  Be it never in vain.

Hugs!
In Him,
Terri