I'm writing this letter to you at the end of the day. I'm pooped. I've spent the day at work, and the evening answering to the demands of your precious oldest 2 grandchildren. :)
I see you chuckling in heaven as I'm living out all the things you did with us....and foresaw when you first held Sambo and Syd in your arms. It has been their little hands and hearts that have brought me to my knees. I have learned through their lives that there is always someone more important than myself. Serving them has left me tired and drained. Serving them has been the best thing I could do in my lifetime. Their lives remind me every day the things that you taught me..... that life is not about me, it is about loving others.
They have no idea now, but those kids are teaching me to lean hard into the moments that shape my character, no matter how uncomfortable they are. They are teaching me that serving others around the clock is hard work. But it is turning my life into something beautiful.
Before I had them I was told that children are a blessing. They were right, but I didn't understand what they meant. I thought children were a blessing because they were fun and and really cute to carry around. Now I know that children are a blessing because they turn my eyes away from myself. Their lives have stolen my heart. My heart can’t beat for myself anymore. It beats for them from morning to night, and all through the night. When they are in pain or when they have to work extra hard, I feel what they feel. When their feelings are hurt, my heart breaks with them. When they experience something new and scream with excitement, I am cheering right along side of them. Just like you did.
Sam is about to graduate. Oh, how I miss you. I know you would be in the middle of this and so proudly among each moment. He has chosen his school....Central Baptist College. And playing baseball for Coach Brister. I think you may have heard of him :) God has His arms holding our Sam....and has guided every moment....every decision. While I'm sad that my baby is growing...I'm at peace with his future.
Syd is searching for her first job. And just was just chosen as a Pepstepper again for her Junior year. And driving. This child is a mess. Kinda like your daughter. But everything I wasn't. She is organized and honest and driven and loyal. She is my best friend. Hands down. So much fun.
Today I am celebrating the greatness not only being their mom....but of being your daughter. I don’t want to be honored for the things I have done. I want to honor the One who hasn’t given up on me. Just like you said He wouldn't. When I slammed my fists and threw fits, and strayed from him, He held me close. He has forgiven me. I want to honor God for the work He has done in my life. My beautiful children are a blessing because they bring me joy and point me to the One who will never give up on me. They point me to the one who is making me great!
I was listing all the upcoming dates surrounding graduation festivities, and can't help but miss you more than normal. But I know you're there momma. For Mamaw Patsy wouldn't miss a thing!