Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Game of Life....<3

Just a quick post tonight.  Had to write a little blip about a conversation that Syd and I had on the way home this afternoon.

Funny how so much substance can come from the 10 minute ride home.  Apparantly, in her Civics class, they are playing the game of "Life".....or a classroom version of it anyway.  For the last few days, she has been telling me all about it.  They are assigned a profession, which attached to it is an annual salary.  They are assigned a spouse, who has a profession and a salary.  They roll dice to see how many children they have, etc.  

Basically, they are "dealt" a "life".  It's been rather humorous listening to her struggle to pay her bills.  Her mortgage payment, her car payments, child care, etc.  The kid is learning the value of a dollar.....and quickly!  lol

Today, she came home and told me that after her bills, she doesn't have enough money for health insurance.  (Talk about JUST like the real world!  hahaha)  Her teacher made some suggestions, as to where she could cut corners, or make some changes in order to afford it.  This is where my heart filled....and I almost ran over a small child when pulling into our neighborhood.  :)  And I quote, "She told me that I could either get a smaller house, or a less expensive car, or not pay my tithe to the church and I would have enough.  Later in the game, we have to roll for a "sickness" and I will need insurance.  I told her that I'm not gonna live in a crappy house and I HAD to pay my tithe.  And like you always say, Mom....God will provide."  

Wow.  Just wow.  This is SPITE of me.....She gets it.  

She went on rambling about how she was going to college and going to have a better job....and marry better than she has in this "make believe classroom game of life" and did I realize how MUCH 10% was????  ....blah blah blah.  

Today.  THIS day, I learned something from my Sydney.  And I am striving to do better.  Again.

Even though the numbers may not always "add up".....God always provides.  I'm excited to hear more about her future in this game of life.  Bet HER sickness is the common cold.  :)

God, I love this child.  Thank you for my Sydney Clare.

In Him,

Monday, January 27, 2014


I've never been much successful in setting and keeping New Year's Resolutions.  That said, this year is no different.  Just like a new day....a new week...a new month.....we, as humans, have reminders of God's promises of a "fresh start" often.  A new year?  It's a great time to try to "get it right."  

In every aspect of my life....changes are taking place.  All "good changes"....but as with anything....change presents just that.....change. 

 Sidenote:  I laugh at myself at all the ways I am beginning to show my age.  1)  I hate loud music.  Loud televisions.  Noise, in general.  If I had a dollar for everytime I had to say...."Turn that down!"  Or, rather text it from the next room....because they can't HEAR me hollering. I am becoming my mother. 2)  Fat.  Ugggg....I remember the days when I could eat anything I wanted and still be only 90 lbs. soaking wet.  Now the dilemma....which sucks more?  Being hungry or being fat?  Verdict is still out on that one.  3)  My bones hurt.  Every morning I think I need the human equivilent of "W-D 40" to get my joints to moving. 4)  I'm blind as a bat.  TRI-focals.  No judgement.  5)  Hot flashes and insomnia.  One is directly related to the other!  

(2 thru 5 I have been blaming on chemo.  But I guess after a year....I have to stop using that excuse. Sigh... )

AND 6)  CHANGE.  I'm resistant to change.  I used to be the one that was eager to try something new.   But lately, I've found that I'm content with how things are.  And that isn't always a good thing.....which brings me to this post.  

Anyway, changes.  At software, new ad campaign, new direction for the company.  New. New. New.  It's been a challenge.  But I work with people who were ME 10 years ago.  So I've been forced to get back in the game.  Even though internally, I fought it.  Feels good.  Feels real, real good.

My oncology clinic closed its doors.  A place that was my "safe haven" for so long.  There I found comfort, healing, friendships, smiles, hugs......This was the place that everyone "got it."  Strangely enough.....I faced a LOT of changes there in a few short months.  Faced a lot of fears.  Cried some tears.  Felt love.  Gosh, it was a truly wonderful place.  I still have the same doctor.....but when I went for my checkup earlier this month....I was nervous.  I walked into the "new clinic" and while everyone was incredibly nice....I didn't know a soul.  Except the doctor.  Of course....he is the important one.  But.....still.  Change is hard.  (BTW...Good report....well, no report, really.  No news is good news...right??)  

Even my gynocologist....who diagnosed my breast cancer... has also retired.  Still undecided about who to see next.  More changes.

I'm BACK on the diet.  Nothin says "get the weight off" like booking your summer vacation and an email regarding your high school class reunion!  Momma's gotta get busy!  :)  Prayers appreciated!

My kids are growing up y'all.  Senior rings.  Booking Senior pictures.  College information in the mailbox no less than 3 days a week.  ACT tests.....all that for my Sam.  And my Syd is trying out for High School dance team in a few short weeks.  Time is flashing before my eyes, friends.  I can't stand it.

My church.  Kicked off a multi-year campaign for its vision. GROW. GIVE. GO.  You will most likely find me blogging about how this is effecting my personal faith walk as we journey forward but to date, we are focusing on the "GROW."   David and I happily signed "commitment cards" along side my church family, in which we vowed to:
1)  Spend time regularly reading God's Word.  CHECK :)
2)  Memorize one relevant scriptiure passage each month in 2014.  
     January:  "Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and correctly handles the truth."  2 Timothy 2:15  (That age thing again.....I can't remember you will find this taped to my bathroom mirror, to my computer at work, the homescreen of my phone, and just below the speedometer of my car....)
3) Get connected in at least one small group at church.  CHECK  :)
4) Start and end each day in prayer.  CHECK  :)
5) Be an intentional witness for Jesus Christ.  This one?  Is a work in progress....

I've seen the word, "Intentional" quite a bit lately.  I'm really good about minding my business and sitting quietly in my on little world and the first one to help....IF asked.  BUT being "Intentional"??   Intentional for Christ.  Wowza.

Recently, in a facebook post, I randomly asked the question....."Tell me how I can pray for you today?" I received no less than 20 responses that day.  Via public comment.....private inbox.....text.....and phone calls.  For rounding purposes....20.  Twenty people asked for prayer....because of a random request on facebook.  It was an honor to go to The Lord for 20 of my friends. be quite honest...that 20 included friends and strangers.  The requests included everything from physical healing, to financial worries, to marital struggles, to just plain old life.  That day, and in those days prayers now have such a deeper purpose.  They have been intentional.

I love being "that friend".....that someone can slip me a text.  Or an email....and say....Pray, Terri. And I want to be more of "that friend."  I've learned that my friends who pray for and with me?  Are the ones I truly lean on and love the most.  There is nothing like havin a spiritual connection with a friend.  A true "sister in Christ."

Life is just hard, sometimes.  I am so broken.  And "unperfect."  I've come to learn that God uses those broken moments....He uses those times in our lives to challenge us.  They are opporunities to grow. To reach out to Him.  To show us that He never leaves or forsakes us.  He teaches us grace.  And forgiveness.  And love.  

I still have relationships in need of mending.  Habits in need of breaking.  A heart and body in need of healing.  Children in need of guidance. And a faith in need of growing.  Change.  Change really is good.  I'm just not really good "at it."  I am going to try to be intentional in everything.  

My spiritual heart is in a really good place.  We laugh.... but Cancer took my boobies but restored my heart.  As literal as that is....its the truth.  I now know a peace that I never knew before.  I harbor no resentment toward anyone.  I've totally forgiven anyone who has hurt me.  And one by one....I'm letting them know.  In turn, I'm praying about those I have hurt.  That The Lord let them see the path back to my front door open for them.  Whatever happens....I am finally on that path to a peace....that passes ALL understanding.  And a love for others....that mirrors HIS love for us. 

"Intentional Change" -- What a concept. 

In Him,

Thursday, January 2, 2014

I'm a Lunatic, y'all.

Had a LOT of "togetherness" with my kiddos the last few weeks....and I've heard the words, "Mom, you're SOOOO weird!" About a dozen times.  Ya know what?  They're right.  I AM pretty weird.  

My "blog idol" Jen H. then re-posted an old entry of hers where she listed a few of her quirks and the post and readers'comments had me rolling. So I'm totally hi-jacking her idea,  :) When you make a laundry list of ways you are totally insane, it kinda becomes humorous.  One day, when I'm kiddos will totally be thankful for the reminders....I think!!  :))

So here are a few....don't judge me friends!  I know some of y'all are JUST as crazy!

* Bad grammar.  Drives me batty!  Goes hand in hand with spelling and correct use of words, such as "they're, there, their."   And "saw, seen."  And "you're, your".  And "ain't". JUST to name a few.
 Example:  "THEY'RE bringing THEIR car over THERE."  
"I SAW you yesterday.  It has been ages since I have SEEN you."  
"YOU'RE welcome to bring YOUR kids."   
Typos and spelling errors give me hives.  Finally, FB added the edit feature.  Use it people. :)

*I love reality TV. My favs are the Housewives.  And I wouldn't mind coming back in my next life as a Kardashian.  Yes, I'm aware that this fact alone makes me weird.

* It totally bugs me when someone makes a reference to God, and doesn't capitalize His name.  Guess it shouldn't, but it really does.  He is worth the extra shift button.

*I hate for anyone to eat or drink after me.  Even my own kids.  I don't share.  Get your own!  :)

*Double dippers gross me out. I will call you out on it.

*I don't think I've used the restroom or taken a bath alone in 17 years.  I either have a kid in the room or a weenie dog at my feet.  Or both!  :)

* I Don't like to be startled, or scared.  I hate horror movies. And If you jump out and try to scare me, I will go ninja on you and kick you where the sun don't shine.  "Tickling" is in this category.  It's torture and I will hate you.  

* I don't like profanity, but all bets are off while driving.  I cuss like a sailor due to road rage. Pray for me!  Hehe

* I like and demand a clean house. Can't relax with things out of place. Can't sleep in an unmade bed. I've even been known to make my bed, just before crawling in it.  

*I think about my own funeral.  Where would it be? Who would come? Who wouldn't? What would they say about me? I think about this a lot.

* I'm a dumb blonde about some things.  SNL, Seinfeld.  I tried liking these shows because it was cool.  But the majority of one-liners, I just don't get it.  

*Can't stand to hear someone breathe loudly.  Or snore.  My Sam is guilty of both. Bless his heart. 

*I hate drinking from a glass.  I prefer a cup. No reason, I just do.

*Hate when a spoon clanks against a metal bowl.  My ex sounded like he was ringing a bell when eating a bowl of cereal!!!  (Plastic bowls are best!)

*I take baths, not showers. I only shower when away from home, because bathing away from home would make me gross. 
*i don't mind "copping a squat."  Ya don't grow up in Jackson County, AR and not learn to pee on the side of the road.

*I'm a nazi about people washing their hands.  More than once, through the years, my office has been near a restroom.  If I have worked with you....I know if you wash your hands or not!!!  :)  You will always find hand sanitizer in my purse, in case I'm forced to cop a squat!  :)

*I have an itchy toe.  Just one.  And it drives me crazy.  

*I always drink from a straw.  Keeps ya from messing up your lipstick. :)

*I am addicted to Carmex. I own no less than 15 tubes at any given moment. 

* Do not touch my phone.  If you let your children play on yours, teach them not to touch mine!!!  

*I hate the smell of "cucumber melon."  I was pregnant with Sam when Bath and Body Works first came out with it, and now the smell if it reminds me of morning sickness.  To this day.

*I hate to talk on the phone.  I'm a texter. 

*Even though I'm an excellent hostess and use manners with company, when it's just us at home, I like to fix my plate first.  I even fix mine before I let the others know supper is ready.  Crappy mom I am. 

*I notice houses and how clean (or dirty) they are.  If I have popped in, I don't judge.  But if they know I'm coming....I kinda do judge.  Haha. Which is why I'm like a crazy person cleaning when I know company is coming.  And mortified when folks pop in. :)  My kids call it "real house vs. fake house."  

*I used to have an underwear obsession. Bras and panties HAD to match. Kind of a moot point now. Haha

*If I am responsible for you, don't walk up to me wearing a wrinkled anything.  I will cut you.  

*I cannot hear a siren without saying a prayer.

*I am NOT a morning person.  Yes I love you, but I am not gonna say it.  OR show it. Let me do my devo, check fb, brush my teeth, shower, get dressed and get a diet coke in me first.  I'll holla at ya around lunch time!  Haha

*Emojis.  I can tolerate a smiley, or a praying hands, or even the occasional thumbs up.....but the rest get on my nerves.  I know some abusers.  Are we 10??

*I drink soda with burgers, sandwiches, pizza, and Mexican food.  Iced Tea with other meals...meat, veggies etc.  It bugs the crap out of me to have to give my drink order to the waitress, because I haven't figured out what I wanna eat yet!  I HAVE been known to change mine after the fact!  Yes, I'm aware again that this is weird. 

*I hate smacking.  I sound like my mother with this statement. :)

*Me....and my kids....think that a burp or a fart is positively the funniest thing ever.  My daddy used to call me "Poot and Giggle".  Nothing tops it.  Nothing.  :)

*Oreos and orange juice.  Not milk.  OJ.  Don't knock it Til ya try it!  :)

*I suffer from restless leg syndrome. My legs think its time for kick-boxing at bedtime.  Ugggg!

*I have a rule with the kids....and always have.... that whoever rides shotgun has to hold Momma's hand.  Even before they were old enough to ride up front, I've driven for miles with my arm stretched to the back seat to hold a little hand from a car seat!  :)

*I usually have the heat kicked up with a window open.  :)

Hi.  My name is Terri.  And I'm a lunatic.  :). Please tell me I'm not alone.....

Happy New Year....many laughs, and blessings to you!

In Him,