Lately, my news feed has been taken hostage by recipes (OH LORD! the recipes), and the "pretty pictures with the quote" across it. Yes, I love them.....the first, and maybe the second time I see them. But after the 5th or 6th share....I'm bored. Then you have the "smarty-pants" quotes that either the whole world KNOWS who they are directed at.....or even better they don't, and its a mystery. Oh the games! lol I love ORIGINAL posts and pics of my friends and their kiddos' and their lives. That's just me. Not passing judgment on those who enjoy sharing them....but for me? I enjoy originality. Much more.
Does it bug me? not really. Do I read them? Most every single one. Do I laugh? yep. I just like words from the heart and mind of each friend. And love those who truly share their lives. So please don't misunderstand and think I'm on a soapbox. Because, I'm not. Just said all this to lead into tonight's post.....
The quotes that catch my eye the most are those about being a "mom"......what a blessing it is, how its my greatest accomplishment, God's greatest gifts, etc. etc. And of course, any person who knows me AT ALL....even a smidgen, knows that my life IS my children. And yes I agree with all of the cheesy quotes. But on the flip side.....my children ARE my life. You're not supposed to list what drives ya crazy!!! But guess what....I'm gonna vent. Gonna warn ANY mother out there who has "teens" in their future.....THIS, is what ya have to look forward to! (Go ahead and judge me....this is "in fun" and totally real.....and mine know I love them MORE than life. So challenge me....I don't care! ha)
Here we go for a laundry list of sorts......
1) I am tired. Bonafide exhaustion folks. I remember the sleep deprivation from having infants and toddlers.....was only a few years ago that I had "2 under the age of 2"......and thinking...."I just want a nap!" Well, it doesn't get better..... in fact, bedtimes are later, radios are louder, friends are in and out the door, and when they start to drive???? You are wide awake LONG after they come home.
2) Prepare to have zero privacy. I've got a kid attached to my hip every second that we are together. The "spelling" of certain things they don't need to hear is no longer a luxury. Nor are code words. Its a free for all......so watch your words. And also watch your actions. Like toddlers, they still notice everything.
3) I have become very stupid. Just ask my kiddos. And I'm told this often by the "Ugggggggg!!!!!" and the growl. And the stomp off. My darling Sydney Clare has this mastered.
4) If you have at least one daughter.....your clothes are no longer yours. Neither is your jewelry. Or your shoes. Or your makeup. Hair brushes. Shampoo. Perfume. Nothing. In fact, sometimes your things disappear into thin air....If you are lucky, you might occasionally see it on facebook or instagram. Be it on your child or one of their friends. But, know when you purchase ANY item of clothing or accessory....its fair game. You can TRY to lay down the rule that "I get to wear it first".....but be sure to let me know how that works out for ya! :)
5) Boys smell. No amount of soap, deodorant, febreeze, scented candles.....NOTHING can mask that of a boy. Even worse. They don't KNOW they smell. Hygiene comes natural to us girls. We want to smell pretty. To this day? I've had to say "Have you brushed your teeth and put on deodorant?" Really. Its nasty. With boys, its a learned process. If I ever get car-jacked, I can throw Sam's football shoulder pads at them and it would be considered a lethal weapon.
6) If you have one child... you are a parent. If you have more than one? You become a referee. I have one child who is quiet as a mouse. The other? Sometimes I want to yank her voicebox out of her throat. She has one tone....loud. And there is a distinction in the "my brother is aggravating me" voice and any other kind.
7) You become an ATM. Your money will most likely never be yours again. Ever. And if you have ANY thought in your head that "once my child gets out of diapers" or "out of formula" or the biggie: "When they get out of daycare".....I'll get a raise!!!! Think again. In fact? That myth makes me laugh out loud! I could write an entire post about how expensive they are.......but I'll just highlight a couple.....
* If they come to ya for a "couple of bucks".....that is a minimum of $20. And they hear "make that last" as "make that last until the end of the day."
* Name brands will kill ya. Do you hear me? Kill ya. I guess it was that way for us when we were younger. But I have kiddos begging for very expensive, very UGLY items. Exhibit A: Chacos. Toms. (Yes, I have not only bought my kiddos both. I own both for myself. Which leads me to #8 shortly)
* Sports, Dance, etc. Cost a fortune.....Lessons, travel, equipment.....I mean. a. fortune.
8) You may find yourself migrating to the fashions of these creatures. Forgetting the fact that you are 20 years older and at LEAST 20 lbs heavier. Just sayin. Don't say you won't. Because you will. I own ugly Chacos and they are completely comfortable!!! :)
9) Cell phones. This could be a separate post as well! Why they call them a phone? I don't know. Because the thing done the LEAST on them is talk. Kids don't "talk" these days. I know most teens by the top of their head that is stuck in the phone. Ri-dang-diculous. We have a rule in my home that cell phones are placed in the center of the table at meal time. After the blessing, who ever (myself included) touches their phone first, does the dishes. (or picks up the check if dining out!)
* I have held a cell phone as ransom for the majority of punishments. Works better than ANYTHING. I have one that would much rather give me his set of keys than the cell phone.
* It doesn't make you a bad parent if you monitor their usage and read their messages. In fact, my personal opinion is that it might make you one if you DON'T. These are children with an unlimited connection to the outside world. They cannot be sheltered. Period. Read their stuff folks. Just like adults.....kids feel more comfy behind a keyboard. They are no different.
* Same premise with the internet. But really....in the age of smartphones.....there is no difference. Cell phones ARE the internet.
* And be CRAZY unreasonable with the phones when they start to drive. Its not hard to catch them. My Sam hung himself....."Mom, I'm comin by your office to grab a couple of bucks for a drink." "Sam, what happened to my change from last night?" "Hang on, I'm drivin....will look in a sec." "Sam, just leave the phone on the table......" Busted. This is life or death. So act like its "life or death."
10) Know all passwords. There is no such thing as "privacy" as far as my kiddos are concerned. I exercise my right and will continue to do so until they are no longer under my roof. As long as I am responsible for any "messes" they get into? Then I have access to all information. Which brings me to #11....
11) Get on Facebook. Get on Twitter. Get on Instagram. Get on Vine. Get on Keek. (Are ya impressed that I know all of these?? hehe) Know what your kids are not only posting and seeing. But know what their FRIENDS are posting and seeing. Yep. "Creepers" are some of the best parents! :)
12) Don't feel bad if you aren't one of "those" moms, who can give them the best of cars, the best of clothes, the best of everything. Mine have my time, Everthing they NEED, and MOST of what they want. That is sufficient for two happy teens. Ask mine. And never say...."Mine would never________." They will just to prove you wrong!
13) Teach them the value of a buck. My Sammy is learning that he can blow a week's paycheck on one tank of gas. (giggling inside) He appreciates ole mom a little more now. I will spend a whole week's paycheck for choir tour spending money. Syd looked at me and said...."Really mom?" Yep. Really.
Even further, its ok if they actually WORK around the house. Mow the lawn, laundry, clean dishes, vacuum the floor. They are perfectly capable of helping. Bottom line. We ALL get more quality time.
14) You are not a bad mom if you have periodic meltdowns and sometimes in public places. Case in point: Walking into Dillards last Sat. to swimsuit shop. I told Syd....sitting in the car before we walked in....."I am NOT buying you a suit from here." She is still growing, the styles change, etc etc. I not only refuse to spend $150++ on a suit for her, but can't. I however, needed one. "Yes mom"....I got with the rolling of the eyes. After seeing all the million ones that she wanted for no less than a million bucks each, trotting off to the dressing room with half a dozen only to realize I meant what I said.....the smart mouth and the tears took over. Drama. Drama. Drama. Yes, I created this monster. The result? Neither of us got a swimsuit. I couldn't afford it for myself either. But I put my foot down like a good little mommy! :) (Yep....it hurt. And I felt like a heel!)
15) Nothing is really "lost" until mom can't find it. Teens lose everything. They forget everything. And their carelessness is CONSTANTLY an emergency for you. Even thought you swear to them you won't....you will keep bailing them out. I've saved my kiddos from more zeros, demerits and laps around the field by providing the "lost and forgotten" items.
16) You can only help them with their homework until about the 5th grade. I have a college education and get stumped with most everything since. See? You really will get dumber.
17) You will NEVER measure up to "so-in-so's" mom. "So in So" is lucky. They get to drive earlier, stay out later, go shopping more often, and go on fancy vacays several times a year. Their clothes are fancier, their cars newer and nicer, and money is no object. They also "got a worse grade than I did".....and "got in trouble also!" So-in-so.....is not you. And I am not "So-in-so's" mom. Period.
18) We have NOTHING to eat at home. Translation: I don't want what is home and want Sonic. However...you are not a horrible mom if you have "Fend for yourselves" for supper often.....grilled cheese sandwiches ARE a hot meal and cereal is nutritional. These creatures are why your life is so busy. They won't go hungry.
19). Run....don't walk from the "hardship". They will grow up and be 16 soon enough. Yep. All their friends will be driving. And they won't. So. I happily drove mine until he was legal, and continue to drive my youngest. Enjoy it actually. DO, however get the learners' permit and let them practice as early as possible. Lordy....I still hold my breath until I get word he has made it safely.
20) You might cuss. And you might cuss in front of them. And most likely...BECAUSE of them. Its all good. You're not alone. Trust me!
For the sake of time....and the fact that its midnight and all my peeps are accounted for and I'm tired. I'm stopping this list at 20. There just may be a sequel. And friends.....add to this list! I'm sure I've forgotten something. I may devote a blog post to "life of a SINGLE mom of teens"......but in all honesty.....I'm not single. I have a whole Village of folks raising these kiddos. So that is on hold. For now.
PS. My kids ARE by far the greatest blessings to me and I love them more than anything in the world. They are well-behaved and know Jesus. Our devotional and worship time is special and most likely will not be forgotten. Not always BECAUSE of me but in SPITE of me. And they are my reason I breathe everyday. The reason I sacrifice to spoil them as much as I can. I'm guilty! :) Guilty of taking my job as a mom seriously.
Hug 'em, Love 'em, and put the "BeatDown" on them as necessary. I will leave you with a cheesy quote: "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take." :) Cheese or not. How true.
Blessings!
In Him,
Terri
20) You might cuss. And you might cuss in front of them. And most likely...BECAUSE of them. Its all good. You're not alone. Trust me!
For the sake of time....and the fact that its midnight and all my peeps are accounted for and I'm tired. I'm stopping this list at 20. There just may be a sequel. And friends.....add to this list! I'm sure I've forgotten something. I may devote a blog post to "life of a SINGLE mom of teens"......but in all honesty.....I'm not single. I have a whole Village of folks raising these kiddos. So that is on hold. For now.
PS. My kids ARE by far the greatest blessings to me and I love them more than anything in the world. They are well-behaved and know Jesus. Our devotional and worship time is special and most likely will not be forgotten. Not always BECAUSE of me but in SPITE of me. And they are my reason I breathe everyday. The reason I sacrifice to spoil them as much as I can. I'm guilty! :) Guilty of taking my job as a mom seriously.
Hug 'em, Love 'em, and put the "BeatDown" on them as necessary. I will leave you with a cheesy quote: "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take." :) Cheese or not. How true.
Blessings!
In Him,
Terri
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