Blessed

Started my day when this song played on K-Love on the way to work!  Along with being one of my favorites.....it really fit my heart today!!!  Couldn't resist sharing.....so with that!  Here goes my 2nd post!  (I never knew how this blank space staring back at me would be so intimidating!)

Wow!  What a couple of weeks this has been!  Last week.... was the whirlwind of doctors, tests, fact-finding, bad news and good news.  To be honest, I still haven't processed it all.  Just can't wrap my mind around the fact that I'm sick.  I don't feel sick.  I don't look sick. And I sure don't have TIME to be sick! In those 5-6 days.....I cried one time.  I can't express the overwhelming ...almost "strange" feeling of peace that I felt!  The kiddos took it hard at first......its a scary thing for them.  We are a "team".....and this was like a punch in the stomach.  They have become so very brave!!  I couldn't be prouder of these two sweet kiddos.  They are my world.  I think "Love ya mom" are the three most precious words ever said!  Poor sweet David....(he will kill me for this!!).... I've threatened to punch him square in the nose if I catch him crying again! He is absolutely precious to me.  He works so hard and helps me all that he can.  I'm so lucky to have this man in my life.  So lucky.

I've felt the prayers....I've felt the Lord......and I want to share a few of my blessings!

My little brother was the first call I made when I left the Doc last Monday.  Within minutes, he was on his way to Benton.  He wanted to be with me when I told the kids.  I headed to Glen Rose to watch Sam and the Freshman Panthers play and he met us there.  Deb and I began to tell my baseball family, who immediately began to hurt with us.  When I say, "baseball family" -- I do mean family in every sense of the word.  That little game has brought so many special people into our world. It was a comfort to be with them that night.  Everyone who knows me....knows that one of my favorite places is to be at the ballpark...watchin my boy play.  God used that timing I think...My little brother with me at the baseball field.  Maybe I'm wierd.....but that is where I found comfort that night.

I slept little that night.  My Syd and I were up most of the night talking and snuggling with infomercials!  We allowed ourselves one "woe as me" day/night and were up on Tues ready to "kick some cancer booty!"  :) 

Tues night....My OTHER family....showed up at my door with food (including banana puddin!!) , smoothies, gifts, and a heapin helping of kiddos, laughs and hugs.  Bo and Sonya, Gina, Shane, Becca and Justin.....that night meant the world to us. I love you all to the MOON and back!!  Sonya made me a necklace....that was personalized with all I hold dear to my heart....(I'll try to post a pic....new to this blogging thing!)....It is beautiful and I love it! 

The rest of the week is a blur.  My "roommate" from across the street....Ang....basically moved in with me.  Everytime I look up, the girl is runnin a vaccuum, taking out trash, or something.  I can tell when she has had a red bull!  :)  Words cannot express all she has done for me.  Precious friend she has turned out to be.  Another friend pointed out, that God knew what he was doing for placing us as her neighbor.  Agree.

Oh, the texts, the visits, Angela's "meal train", the facebook posts, the phone calls, the emails.....overwhelmed isn't a big enough word.  EACH and EVERY one meant so much to us.  And came in its perfect timing.  I tried hard to eventually respond personally.  But just wasn't possible.  Some from people I hadn't seen in years.....Some from those I had seen only moments before.  Some from people I wondered if they even LIKED me!  haha   Funny how people answer God's call to reach out!!  This part....I have loved.

Hung out with my Becca....she is my "do-er", We are complete with button-up shirts from garage sales and Goodwill, and a list of things that need to be done before the next surgery.  She and I are headed out tomorrow to see about wigs.  I was advised to start the process before losing my hair so that they can better match it.  She has been such a comfort to me.  Guilt overcomes me as it must be so hard for her to watch another friend battle this "monster", as she lost her precious childhood best friend Keri only a short time ago.  While I didn't have the pleasure of knowing Keri, I have made a promise that a big part of my fight is for her.  She fought with such grace.  I only hope I can win this battle for us!!!!  :) 

I asked Becca to take some pics of our family with her "cool camera" and she did better than that.  A few hours later I was on a photo shoot....with the "cool" Tia Wind!  She does AWESOME work.  Thanks to these two ladies....I was granted my wish to have family pics made before I began treatments.  Thank you isn't enough words!!!!  Can't wait to see the finished pictures.  There are sneak peaks on her facebook!  Love them!  And the kids and I had had such fun!  :)


Sunday, my oldest and dearest childhood best friend, Sandy, came to visit me from Newport.  "I just had to look at ya!  Make sure you were really ok!" she said.....We spent the afternoon with a wonderful visit....laughing again at all the trouble we made growing up!  Sandy has always been there for me....through every joy....and every mistake.....and every celebration....and every heartbreak.  She has checked on me everyday.  I've come to rely on her daily texts!  God has his fingerprints all over this friendship!  So grateful for Sandy!

This week....no doctors....just their "people" calling to get everything rolling for my big day next week..... its been sort of normal back at the house.  Just a new "normal."  I left the banking world about 4 years ago and began cleaning houses.....good money, flexible hours, hard work.  Great for "being a mom".....not so great for "battling cancer".  A year ago, I went to work for a small local company, part-time in their office.  It was a nice change to put my "accounting brain" back to work.  They are Godly, family men and I absolutely love it there.  I have been working there in the mornings and cleaning my houses in the afternoons.  System worked well.  Until the "monster".

My greatest fear hasn't been the cancer.  Or dying. Or chemo.  Yes, those are natural fears.  But as a single mom, I've feared...not being able to pay the bills.  If I don't work....I don't get paid.  God immediately stepped in through his angels.  My boss offered me a full time position.  My body will be much more able to work in an office, rather than cleaning.  I'm able to keep a small handful of cleaning clients, who are so gracious to work with me throughout my upcoming battle.  Sweet Leigh and Tammy, and COUNTLESS others are so gracious to help me get the children to and from school and activies so I'm able to work.

I have had some busy bees spreading the word to many who have sent me monetary donations to us for help in covering my living expenses and medical bills while I was/and will be unable to work.  I am simply overwhelmed at the love offerings I've received in many forms, some of which I don't even know WHO to thank!  My church family is incredible!  Kim and her band are playing a benefit this weekend for us....kid friendly!  I cannot wait to actually get out for an evening with the kiddos and see everyone before I'm homebound for a bit.  JC and Party Central are dedicating a portion of proceeds for us at Open Jumps during this month.  My sweet Deb is working on a donation table at the baseball tournament this weekend.  And my Becca and Ang are working on a garage sale for us in a couple of weeks.  What self-less acts of love.  Its hard to feel worthy of all the ways others are stepping up to help us.

I've mentioned a few names.  But please know that there are countless others.  Way too many to name.  Please forgive me for not mentioning them all.  I said earlier that the 'ole devil must be squirming because God's angels here are earth are at work!!  I have had MANY tears this week.  Tears of joy.  Tears of love.  Thanks to my God....my awesome children, who tell me they love me never too often...sweet David....and all of my family and friends....I don't feel sick.  I feel loved.  Lord, I praise you in this storm!!!