Thursday, July 17, 2014

It's Been 13 Years...

I have very little to say...that I've not said a hundred times before.  About her....

Here my previous entries from her "Angel Wing" days:

http://terricoxbaker.blogspot.com/2013/07/july-20.html?m=0

http://terricoxbaker.blogspot.com/2012/07/steady-my-heart.html?m=0

It hurts.  Every day.  It hurts.  This pain never goes away.  But the comfort....from the Lord she taught me to seek....is also there everyday.

It's been 13 years....
Since I last heard your voice....
Since we ran to Wal-Mart....
Went to church together.....
Shopped in Jonesboro....
Cooked together....
Watched "All My Children"....
Argued...hehe

Its been 13 years....
Since I saw you making something crafty....while I watched.
Since we chatted on the phone...
Made an ice cream run....
Since you went bowling....
and taught Sunday School
And sat across from me at a potluck....

Its been 13 years....
Since you held my hand through a crises....
Drove across town after supper to "see your babies"....
Since you walked around the block.....
And fried pork chops...
Since you bought me lunch....
and painted your nails.

Its been 13!
13 Birthdays
13 Christmases
13 Easters
13 Mother's Days
32 First days of school.
4 Kindergarten Graduations
12 Dance recitals
A few baptisms...
Many ballgames, OM competitions, Pep Rallys, and quiz bowls.

Its been 13 years.....
Since you looked at your children....
and grandchildren....
And even dreamed of your "grand-children to be"....
13 years....
Since you opened your eyes.....
Let them cry tears....
or sparkle from your infectious laughter.

Its been 13 years, Mamaw Patsy....
And Sam and Sydney Clare still hear about you all the time....
Jacob and Hannah hear your stories and feel your love.
13 years, we have missed your earthly presence...
And selfishly feel so incredibly robbed.
13 years since you reminded me where to draw my strength.
And in 13 years, your words have never faded....
I remember, mom.
After 13 years....I remember.

Its been 13 years, mom.....
Since you suffered for the final time....
Ever had to worry about cancer...or chemo...or pain.
13 years of me hating cancer more than ANYTHING else....
Since I've worried you over mistakes...
or decisions....or illness.
Since you left this broken world....
into a HEAVEN that is prepared for us.
13 years since, I held your hand that last time.
And you opened your eyes, and gasped that final time.

13 years...
Since a piece of me left....
and we had to say "See ya Later"....
because we know....and you taught us....
that "Christians really NEVER say goodbye."
Since you said "I love you."
And "I'd like to have a drink of water."
In 13 years....I've loved you even 13 years worth of MORE.
For 13 years, my sweet mom....I've missed you.
For 13 years....I've missed the big things with you.
I've missed the little things with you.

For 13 years....I have just wanted my momma.

<3

Today, someone sent me this.  Someone who has never met her.  Someone whom I'm not sure even realized what Sunday is.  So....Thank you mom.  I know that had to be you...all YOU! :)



In loving memory - Patsy Smart Cox
May 27, 1952 - July 20, 2001

Only HE can take the pieces of a broken heart....and put it back together into something beautiful....
In Him,
Terri

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