If you're a perfect parent, who is convinced that "My child will never...." (fill in the appropriate blank)....then stop reading now. Please. Because if you offer me YOUR advice....we most likely will no longer be friends. :)
Parenting is hard. Single-parenting is harder. And parenting "these days" are next to impossible. Tonight? I'm mad. I'm mad at the little boy that made me a mom. At one of the two humans that I love more than anyone or anything in this entire world. At my "momma's boy." I'm so aggravated and disappointed in my son....who in the whole grand scheme of things is a terrific kid.
I really want to kill him. (Not really....but I DO want to put my foot to his.....ummmmm hind-end.) I'm not going into detail as to why. I will not divulge. As it IS a private matter. What he has done isn't important. His actions are NOT the purpose of my post tonight.....so please don't email or text me and ask. My purpose is to vent. To work through my emotions as a parent. To beggggg for prayers so that I can guide my children.
When I list his qualities.....
Good grades.
Gives 150% in all he participates.....Sports, Church, etc.
He is my brother in Christ....a child of God.....and has a love for the Lord that is evident most of the time.
Hard worker. (Example...just yesterday: Up at 6 am on a Saturday....ACT test, two baseball games (literally ate lunch in the dugout in between innings), and then off to his part time job until late that evening.
He is oftentimes up before I am on any given Sunday for Sunday School and church.
He loves me. And shows it. He is good to his momma. Always.
He loves his sister......and shows it....sometimes. :)
Doesn't drink or do drugs. And yes....I'm 100% sure.
Obeys curfews and my rules.
He is respectful to others.
A good kid.
Is he perfect? Nope. His room is a pigsty. He would forget his head if not attached. I have made my fair share of trips to the school because he has forgotten this or that.....and I've saved his hiney on more than one occasion.
He smells like a foot most of the time. Boys (and their stuff) just stink. He forgets to shave sometimes for days and is hairy. His bathroom is gross.....
Ok. Ya get the picture.
My point is.....He IS a kid. He needs guidance and direction. And boundaries.
What is an appropriate curfew? We just play it by ear on a case-by-case basis. i.e., 30 mins after the end of the movie. Or come straight home after the game....etc.etc. I make him check in a time or two throughout an outing. Am I too lenient?
Do your kids have chores? We take turns cleaning the kitchen after supper. My children do the majority of their own laundry. My son mows the yard.
Do you make your kids pay for anything? Case in point. My son has a job. Pays for most of his gas for truck (that was given to him!). New baseball bat? I paid half....he paid half. Am I being mean?
As a parent...are we too free with technology? Are we "creeping" enough?
My rule in this house is..."If I'm buying....I'm spying." I've heard that before....and it pretty much sums it up. IF you are texting my son or my daughter.....chances are....you are texting their mom too.
Kids are shying away from Facebook....it's now a playground for adults. Some use it as it is intended....to share, network, to give/receive support and prayers and enjoy. Others....its an avenue for the lonely and the passive aggressive. Uggggg.....no wonder our kids are skewed. This week, I was having a discussion with a friend over whether or not his business should develop a FB page. And it was decided....heck no! The first time you tick someone off....you're in "damage control" mode then. Nobody is perfect....and people use social media to expose every flaw. Sometimes I think it is Satan's playground. Be careful friends.....Words....while they can heal? They can kill. Some stones just can't be unthrown.
Anyway.....my current interest and focus....which is now the interest of my teens....is Twitter. I'm so impressed with some of the kids that my children rub shoulders with. WOW! God has placed such amazing people in their lives. While a few? Can I say wow! again??? The language....the words that are said, pictures, and activities these kids tweet about make we wonder....WHERE in the heck are these parents??? Wake up people! If I am a college recruiter.....or a manager that is in charge of hiring young people? You can BET, I'm lookin' on Twitter. Does this make me weird?
Our kids are watching. And what are they learning? That the keyboard.....is a larger weapon than ANY gun. There lies more "courage" than I've ever seen. I'm just saddened.
Motherhood can NOT just be a spectator sport. Check their accounts. Read what they are writing. Both in public and in private. There IS such a thing as too much privacy....right? Know who is talking to your children. UNTIL they aren't children anymore.
For those trying to guess what my sweet son has done? Well....he is not guilty of any of what I've vented most about. He is guilty for not coming to me. For keeping me in the dark about some things. I've failed at providing some trust for him to come to me. Then...when I think about it. He is being normal. Some things...."ya just don't talk to your mom about." My purpose of venting about all the info ya can get from a little box (aka iphone).....is to let others know that you need to be spying, too. We need to be in this together.... I'll watch out for yours....and please, please watch out for mine!
We need to pray for God's provision on our kids!!!
Proverbs 22:6 -- "Train a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."
I'm hoping he will thank me one day, for being a mean momma. I love that boy....I'm just scared to death. Of this world that he is in.
What are we teaching our kids???? Is my attitude totally over the line? Should I really have THIS opinion on things?
Where is the "Mommy Manual" when ya need one. Help!
In Him,
Terri
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