I've had a pretty crummy day....up until about 3 pm. When I'm having a moody day...I am banned from blogging by my kids. "Mom! Step AWAY from the ipad!!" Truth.
So since I apparently have it in heads that I'm a "Debbie Downer"....this blog is in THEIR honor. hahaha Letting the world be aware of and enter our "Dork-dom." Ok, I'm just kidding. I'm just gonna ramble a bit.
Do you know how much fun being the single mom of two teens really is? Yep, I said it. I'm a single mom. Challenge that if you wish. But come take a look at my home, my bank account, and climb into my heart and head and you'll agree. I'm a single mom with a big ole village. Yep. I don't depend on anyone or anything to take care of myself and my kiddos. But, I don't venture to say I'm doing it alone. None of us have to. Myself and their dad, of course. But, that is the way its supposed to be....right? :)
Anyway, I love these kids. They are both kind of "stay at home-ers". I see kiddos their age runnin' the streets, social calendars over-flowing, I sometimes wonder if their parents EVER see them....and I used to wonder if something is wrong with mine that they like to be home? And I'm in no way of judging how others parent. Don't get me wrong.....they are active. They have their "spend the nights", participating in all the church activities, sports, dance, part-time jobs, movie dates, and what have you. But on their rare "off days"....they have no problem being at home. And when they are home? They are spending time with mom. What dorks! Right? I love this.
I used to think I was the cool mom. I guess to a degree I am ....to them. But they know my boundaries, which doesn't make me too "cool" to others. I'm not that mom who allows them to come and go as they please. I know who they are with. I know where they are. And I will tell them no. In a New York minute. It doesn't take a genius to keep an eye on your kiddos. Facebook and Instagram are a parent's dream. I have learned a lot. Yep. I creep. And I will continue to creep. I call it being a good mom. Really don't care what they call it. :)
I'm not that mom that says, "I know you're going to drink....so as long as you do it here with me.....its ok." Nope. When you are 21, making your own car payment, paying you own bills, then you may make the decision to have a drink. Not before. Parents, am I judging you if you do different? Nope. I'm just being a dork I guess.
I said no to the "hardship" license. I had a hard time letting Sam drive when he was 16. Lordy.....they knew better than to even ASK.
I still enforce bedtimes at my house. They need sleep. I have a son trying to go to school, study, hold down a job, be active at church and its activities 2-3 days a week, work out, have time for friends, play football....and play it well. I've a daughter with school, church, dance, friends, etc. who is GRUM-PY when she lacks sleep. Around 10? We start wrapping it up. By 11, lights are out. I'm THAT mom who "pulls the plug". I take up phones, etc. and all are safely on their chargers in my room at night. It amazes me how many times those little boxes go off in the middle of the night. Yes, I could turn them off. But, you can learn a lot about your child's friends by the messages, etc. they send throughout the night! :) Note: If you text my child after 10, you are texting their momma!" :)
Tonight, the three of us went to dinner. I was craving Cracker Barrel Mac & Cheese. We rarely eat out anymore. To save money, we mostly eat our meals at home. We just laughed and laughed. The drive to Bryant, we sang loudly with the radio. They like Alice....I like K-love....we meet in the middle with KSSN Country. We out-sing each other. We dance a little. We tell off-color jokes. We honk at people and wave the other direction. We have a completely silly version of "road rage". We fight over who is riding "shot-gun." And we laugh a lot.
We got home, and watched crazy TV....Dance moms, Double Divas (ok....notice the irony of a woman with zero boobs....LITERALLY....watching that show.) But yes....we are right in the middle of the madness. We laugh when someone stinks up the bathroom. We laugh when someone burps loudly. We laugh when someone.....either one of US...or one of the dogs.....passes gas. We laugh at my off-color boob jokes and bald jokes. We eat dry fruit loops in the bed and fight over popping a sheet of bubble wrap. We could lay around and watch "vines" on their phones and laugh like crazy.....or when nothing is on TV, we watch old episodes of Duck Dynasty, Meet the Brown's, or The Brady Bunch.
Judge me. But in our world? We are happy.
They say I'm nosey.....but I know my kids. They are glad of it.
We laugh. A lot. Those two crazies can save my day in a few minutes. And today...they did just that.
I've come to realize that these people are my entire world. I've got only one shot at this. I consider it a blessing that they want to be with me. I'm hanging on to every single second. We are a team. We make nearly every decision together. What we eat for dinner. What we all wear each day. What we watch on TV. And even the big stuff. They know what bills are due, and what sacrifices we might have to make each week to pay them. When I made the decision to end my marriage....they were a part of it. I don't keep things from them. They are truly my best friends. I can only pray that they grow up with a respect for the love we share and the lessons we learn.
We pray together. Not just blessing each meal. As a family. We pray. My kiddos are far from perfect. They need parental guidance now more than they ever have. I will never say...."MY kids won't ever....", because I know they can prove me wrong in a heartbeat. I've caught one fibbing, and the other is ALWAYS up in everyone's "bizness". I've got one who is a total slob and another who is a bossy britches. They fight. A lot. But when I saw my Sam rush to the gym floor one day after Syd fell to the ground with a knee injury, and lift her in his arms and carry her off the floor with her crying on his shoulder? I knew I had something special with these two. Special to others? I don't know. But to me? They are everything.
Sydney is in charge of the dry erase board on the fridge. Not "officially"....but we all know that is HER terrain. About every 2 or 3 days, she reveals to us a new bible verse. I don't know what is behind her thought process for choosing these verses. We really don't talk about it. But this child reveals something to me that I need to hear....without even knowing it. As a parent, we strive to guide our kids. But, we rarely sit back and let them guide us? It's been such a pleasant realization. And a growth to me as a mom.
Yep, we are dorky. My kids aren't the "popular" ones by society's standards. We aren't the "Jones's".....heck, I don't even have the honor of KNOWING them, much less can keep up with them. We struggle. Real life, hurtful, struggles. My kiddos have suffered divorce, illness, death, major moves, and been apart from their dad the majority of their lives. For 14 and 16, they've survived a little bit of trauma. And with such grace. As a parent, I feel guilt that I've not been able to shelter them from such hurts. But when I look at the love we share. The kindness they show to others. The sweet spirits in each of them? I know that God carried them when I failed. That He never left our side. They know Jesus. They always come back to Him when they, too, fail. And at the beginning and the end of each day....I get a "love you mom".....and I know, without a doubt.....they mean it.
Ya know? Being a dork is pretty ok.