Not my "attitude".....

Today was a MUCH better on many levels. I don't think I will need a "woe is me" warning on this post. :) Happy day!! I keep getting all these messages and words of encouragement about what a positive attitude I have.....oh how I wish I could take credit. That's not ME, my friends....that's HIM! :)

I woke about six and decided to try to head to work. I was a tad reluctant at first.....as I'm not sleeping well. The doc prescribed me something to calm and help me sleep but I guess I left them in the hospital. Dumb me can't find them. Oh well, not much of a "pill taker" anyway....but it bugs me that I was so stupid!

Nevertheless, I found something to wear that didn't make me look toooooo awfully scary, fixed my hair and put on a tad of makeup. Syd helped me wash my hair last night in the kitchen sink.....I almost felt human again! :)

David drove me to the office by 7 (still forbidden from driving by the doc) and I dove right in! It felt so good to be back. I spent the morning catching up on my desk and doing paperwork. I'll admit, I'm still having some pain. Moreso, around the area where my drains are.

I worked until about 1, about 6 hours today. I listened to all who advised me not to overdo it. I began to get tired and listened to my body and headed home for a big long nap! :).

This evening was like a holiday meal at our house! Leigh fed us like we were royalty! And sweet Emme made us a beautiful pink strawberry cake, with the breast cancer ribbon made out of strawberries. Simply precious!

Emme, and her family are so special to us! One of Syd's BFFs, and a beautiful child of God! Emme has had her own medical struggles recently. She went in for a routine "required" physical prior to basketball/volleyball tryouts and a routine EKG has her on the road to heart surgery next week. Emme has been diagnosed with Wolff Parkinson White Syndrome. Emme is a "sporty girl" and is a very incredible athlete. She has played competively in nearly all sports her whole life. As a mom, I can only imagine the fear that enveloped my dear friend. Still, she has been an incredible friend to us helping us in some capacity nearly everyday. That is Leigh, always helping others.

I'm begging each of my prayer warriors to please keep this precious little girl in your prayers. Also her family, and her medical team next week. I have faith in our Lord to provide complete healing for this precious child. This family has been a source of strength for us over the last couple of years in more ways than I can list. Please pray that I can return some of this strength for them.

Also, please remember my dear friend Kim, from our "ball family". She is facing surgery in the midst of her oldest son's graduation activities. She and her family are precious to us. Please pray for them as well.

I'm still overwhelmed by all the sweet words, thoughts, and kindness that my friends have taken the time out of their busy days to extend to us. I can't possibly wrap my mind around all that is being done for us.....

Thirty-One gifts:
My dear friend, Cindy, from high school, is graciously doing a fundraiser for our benefit. She emailed me this morning asking if she could donate the sale of a "Greyhound" bag to help us with expenses. She had enough interest to create a fundraiser altogether, whereby friends can order via her website for our benefit. Again, what a precious thing to do for us! God bless Cindy for such a loving, self-less gesture. Words can't express how full my heart is.

Bracelets:
Becca has my "Prayers for Terri" bracelets on many arms around Benton. Everytime I look down, it reminds me of this fight....and reminds me that I'm not alone and we will win!! My Syd has several friends wearing them and boy does that make me smile! "Team Terri" is growing!!! :)) Becca and "friends" have also organized a garage sale this weekend for us. This woman is like the energizer bunny!! The kids and I will be forever grateful for all she keeps doing for us. I love my Becca for sure!

God keeps surrounding me with such wonderful people every step of this journey. While I hear from many each day....the "regulars" haha.....Deb, Becca, Jay, Ang, Aunt Tootie, etc.... But there are always a few who catch me "off guard" and bring a tear.

Many know, and many may not know, that while in Newport, I was a youth minister for about 7 years. Right out of college, I was asked to teach the Junior High Sunday school class. I graduated this group 6 years later. I had them the whole time. A member of this class was a little redhead (in EVERY sense of the word!) named Kara. Ironically, Kara's dad was MY youth director and SS teacher many years before when I was her age. I loved Mr. James and he was a very important part of my youth! Kara was (and still is!) very very special to me.

She was like a little sister (to say "daughter" makes me feel too old!) to me. Besides being very active in the youth group, she was basically a part of my family! She was my "go to" sitter for the kiddos while their dad and I played golf each week or did anything warranting the need for a sitter!

Kara's dad, James, tragically lost his life in a car accident, I believe it was during her first year at UofA. It was only a few short weeks after I lost my mom. They were buried close to one another. Kara once told me she chose that spot so they wouldn't "get lonely". :) My mother had worked for Mr. James for several years. I have many memories of him....he was a big man, with a huge loud laugh! Always wore a smile....and had you smiling in his presence. I know God gave us each other during that horrible time....for a reason.

As I am writing this, I am being reminded of the many ways God intertwined our families. Kara's mother is a precious lady who was a youth director's "dream parent". Always willing to help in any capacity. She was a teacher at the high school. Kara's brother, Matt, also active in our group was a joy, too. A wonderful family.

Kara and I have almost always remained in touch. Reconnected on FB a few years ago. We have a special kind of friendship and I am so proud of all she has accomplished! A new wife, and "mother-to-be" and ....a youth director! Kara is so much like her daddy! Not much for "mush". Not a "sugar-coater". But she never ceases to trust me. She continues to let me know she loves me. She reminds me of her memories of watching hours of "Barney" with Sam....or holding Sydney until she fell asleep.

Today, her words were...."Glad you are alive! I feel better when I see you on FB! I stalked your kids while you were gone!". :) That is "Kara speak" for "I love you and missed you!". God gave me Kara all those years ago. God gave me Kara again.....and boy am I blessed. Will she ever know how much she means to me??? I love my little Kara.....It is one of the "realest" relationships I've ever had...she loves me. All of me....the good and the "not so good". And I cherish our friendship.

After my nap, I received a call from my BCBS case manager. Since my diagnosis, she is a nurse assigned to my case to aid me any capacity throughout this journey. By the end of our phone call, Delores, was a new friend. She shared with me many resources that are out there that could benefit me. And we talked at length about not only the "medical" aspects of Breast Cancer....but the "emotional" aspects as well. She shared with me the following prayer....and it outlines my feelings completely!!

BREAST CANCER PRAYER:
Lord, I have just received the diagnosis of breast cancer....
Still my anxious heart as I seek to understand why....
Teach me to transform this suffering into growth....
My great fear of tomorrow into your faith of presence....
My tears into understanding....
My discouragement into courage....
My anger into forgiveness....
My bitterness into acceptance....
My experience with cancer into my testimony....
My crises into a platform on which I can learn to help others.
God, please grant that one day I can embrace this time as my friend, and not my enemy.

I have received many words of encouragement and I have heard from several what an "inspiration" I have been. While those are precious, sweet words to me....I realized early on in my diagnosis, that as a Christian, many would be looking to me to see exactly how I handled this "monster." I prayed to my God that I can use this as a testimony someday....and find the good that is promised in every adversity. Some days...I do fall short of His glory. Some days....I fail to honor Him. But when I DO inspire others in some way, please know that it is not ME. It is HIM walking beside me, holding me up and never leaving my side.

My friends, we serve a mighty God. Today, I praise Him for yet another day. I thank Him for his grace, His friendships, His forgiveness, and His love. These things....are the source of all inspiration.

I leave you with the UMYF Benediction:
May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon you, and be gracious unto you.
May the Lord lift up His countenance upon you and give you peace. Amen.
Numbers 6:24-26

In Him,
Terri