I'm just not cut out for this, y'all. This mother of teens thing. Okay....I'm fibbing. Actually, I love it. I thrive on it. I LIVE it. But, someone failed to tell me how my heart would RIPPED from my body at the thought of them growing up and leaving. My little self-proclaimed "momma's boy"...who followed me around in diapers, wet the bed until he was 7, who used to tell me he wanted to marry me when he grew up.....is off at college. In his 2nd year. Thinking of spending the summer elsewhere to work. #bestillmyheart
My baby girl. My best friend. My buddy for her ENTIRE life. My human "day planner"...keeps me in line ....is in her last 2 weeks of high school......will graduate in a month......and leave for college in about 4 months. At a mere 18 years old....she know EXACTLY what God has led her to do with her life and has her future mapped out to achieve it. So proud of her I could almost burst. I love her guts!!!
And David, Jr....the fact that I'm honored to step in and get the last few years of his life isn't lost on me. He is a hard worker and has risen above so much in his short little life. I'm quite certain I've learned more from him than he could ever learn from me. He, too, is counting down the days left of school....(loudly to me daily!) and has his college future underway. God has blessed me by letting me be a part of his present. And his future.
THREE in college.
Wait, what???? Just stop already. I think I might just die. Like, right here.
I can't even remind myself that Tyler graduates next year....and then that will make FOUR? Ummmm..not touching that one just yet.
Scholarship applications, essays, graduation announcements, cap & gowns, Senior games......and this weekend: Prom.
The dress. Oh the perfect dress...read: dress, alterations, the right underwear, shoes, earrings, bracelet.
The makeup. (6:30 AM appointment...yes, you read that right...we would go even earlier for her magic!)
The spray tan.
The mani and the pedi.
Her sweet little date.
The right color tie...
And his sweet little date.
When to take the pictures. Where to take the pictures. And what if it rains???
Even so...can't wait to get behind that camera on Saturday night! :)
What I really want to do is give them an 11:00 curfew and not let them out of my sight. I would SO drive them to and from! God, please, please watch over these babies. Walk beside each and every one of them. While I want to be excited for them to make these memories and celebrate their graduation, I'm terrified as only a mother can be....in the very depths of my soul and in the pit of my stomach. I trust my kiddos. With every ounce of my being. I do. But that doesn't mean I don't want to protect them and their future. And that of their friends.
I heard the other day an analogy that fits my fears as a mother. "A ship is always safe in the harbor. But that is not what the ship was built for.....to stay in the harbor." How true. I've done my job. In fact, I want to be JUST like my children, when I grow up. :) It is time to let them sail.....To let them SOAR!
Why does it hurt so much? I may just follow them to Conway. Yes, that is what I'll do. I can just tell myself that to make me feel better for today....shhhhhh, its our secret.
But today, as my kiddos have so much on their plate in the next couple of days.....Pray with me the following:
The Lord's PROM Prayer
Our Father Who art in heaven, hallowed be Your name....
God, You are holy in all that You do and in all that You are. Help us to see and live in light of Your holiness. I pray for the many students who will be celebrating with their friends at prom this weekend. I pray that as they enjoy the gracious gifts of friendship, laughter, beauty, and dance that they would do so with a renewed understanding of Your holiness. Help them to see that You have called them to be holy as You are holy. Give them the grace, boldness, wisdom, and conviction to honor You in all that they do while at prom.
Your kingdom come and Your will be done on earth as it is in heaven...
Father, Your will for our lives and for all things is not just for Your glory but for our good. May You show these students that life lived within Your design is not just what is best for us, it is what is most joyful. May their wills be conformed to Yours as they make decisions about who they ask, what they wear, what they say, how they dance, and where they go afterwards.
Give us this day our daily bread...
You are a good and gracious Father and You love providing your children with good gifts. Help them to see the goodness of prom and how it truly can be a gracious gift from You. May they receive and enjoy this gift in a way that honors the giver.
And forgive us our trespasses....as we forgive those who trespass against us...
Lord, I know these young men and women aren't perfect. Help them to trust and treasure the truth that while their sin may reach far, Your grace reaches further. May they see that there is nothing they could do at prom that would disqualify them from being called Your beloved child. Help them to live freely and faithfully in light of Your limitless grace and forgiveness.
And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil...
Father, You are well aware of the many temptations that arise during these festivities. I ask that You would protect these children from the temptations they face. Temptations of vanity, greed, jealousy, lust, drunkenness, and most of all, disregard for You. Keep them safe and deliver them from evil by giving them hearts that love You fully, minds that think of you deeply, and lives that follow You faithfully.
For thine is the kingdom, and the power and the glory forever and ever...
Lord, may You show them that while You are the God of the universe You are still the God of their prom. May they seek to honor, glorify, and worship you during this time. I pray this in the name of Christ Jesus our Lord. Amen! -
For my David and my Sydney Clare.....I love you. Enjoy every second!!
Sail, Soar, SHINE! <3