Many know that my Sam is gone this week. Boy do I miss that boy! His face, his smile, his voice, brightens my everyday. This week....it's via text that I see all of those things....but. no worries, I feel his love regardless! :) He is is on Choir Tour with FBC's Pure Energy Youth Choir. Pure Energy is a "legacy" of sorts. This year, they have performed their "program" all the way from Benton to Chicago. Here they are pictured yesterday where they sang in front of the famous "Bean":
I've gotten pics from Sam and OF Sam from various sights around the big city. Funny how a "high tech McDonalds," a Sports Authority on "steriods" and the largest "Forver 21" I've ever seen are sights that can excite a small town Arkansas boy....but hey! It's Chicago! :) He couldn't wait to tell me they "called the hogs" on the Sea Dog, to send me pics of the Sears Tower, the HUMONGOUS Chicago pizza that he ate, and countless others that I've not gotten to see yet.
Lordy....I hope he is remembering to fold his things neatly, and to put on deoderant. Teenage boys! I pity those around him if he has forgotten!
Last night, I believe he was pretty close to heaven at the White Sox game. He would have for SURE been in heaven had the Cards been playing the Cubs at Wrigley field....but nevertheless, he is with some of his best friends, and worshipping God at every turn. That boy is changing as I type this. As a mom, I can just feel it. I think it's changing me as well.
Today, they headed this morning to worship at the Fourth Presbyterian Church on Michigan Avenue, that beautiful church where "My Best Friend's Wedding" was filmed. Cool huh? They also performed there. The audience was empty. Pews were empty. And it was planned that way. They were there to perform a "Concert For God." How incredibly special is that??! I can see the power in their faces and feel the worship from here at their performance for Him. They have worked so hard for a whole year on this performance. They have sang the songs many times in rehearsals and even on this trip, they've stopped at churches along the way, impromptu performances around the "big city".....but none of these up until this morning, and none in the future....even the "homecoming concert" this coming Sunday, could ever compare to lifting their voices before our God in worship. Only for Him. Only WITH Him.
Ang sent me this picture early this morning of my Sam kneeling before God in that beatiful place in prayer:
This touched me more than any other picture I've seen. I'm so proud of what he is allowing God to do in his life! He is a spirit-filled child and I couldn't be more blessed! I've always prayed that God either work THROUGH me or in SPITE of me to be ever present in my children. Neither he nor Sydney cease to amaze me with their faith. The Lord definately works through THEM in me.
I was having a chat with my brother last night. He and I share an emptiness and a pain from our childhood that only now are we strong enough to really discuss..... that I am not prepared to share on here. Rather, I'm not at liberty to discuss the feelings of my brother. However, we have both learned and vowed that our children WILL know without a shadow of a doubt, that first....God loves them. And second, that WE love them. Thank goodness we had a loving mother that did her very best to shield us from harm at all costs. All costs. This is an area where I feel I AM succeeding. My kids will know.....I love them with all that I am. And they know that we serve a mighty God. And it is from HIM in which we are and continue to be richly blessed.
Pure Energy is traveling this afternoon to a detention center and will be ministering and worshipping with them there. From what I understand, this will be a first for them. I know that these kids placed there due to unfortunate circumstances will come to know God through our ministry and also that our kids' realize what a blessing the presence of our heavenly Father really is. I simply cannot wait for an update! :) Be sure to check out facebook for many more pics! :)
They will be headed to their camp on Lake Michigan this weekend for a "retreat" and worship experience like no other for my Sam. I'll keep you posted on what he brings home from the "mountaintop"! :) I'm so incredibly grateful for the "village" that my children and I have been placed in. Next year, my Syd will be old enough to go.....:))
It has hit me today, after all the whining I've been doing, how lucky I am to be a mother. Well...not just A mother....but THEIR mother. When Sam was just a few hours old, I was curled up in the fetal position in a hosptial bed in Harris Hosptial crying because my baby had just been flown to Children's via Angel One. (That period of time is a series of blogging for many other days.....). Anyway, Dr. Renee Montgomery, my Ob/GYN at the time, climbed up IN the bed with me.....and wrapped her arms around me and shook me a little. Her words shook me to the core......I was crying out "WHY" did MY baby have to be sick.?? I did everything right.....High school, college, marraige, job......in that order. I ate healthy. Took my vitamins. Prayed everyday for a healthy child. And my words...."Why do 15 year olds on crack get to have a healthy baby while mine is suffering?" Please don't judge....I was beside myself in fear and worry for my Sam.
Anyway, Dr. Montgomery's words were these...."Terri, I believe God chooses parents. Period. He specifically chose you and John as parents for Sam because YOU can give him the care and love he needs. A 15 year old on crack can not!" Wow. I will never forget those words. To know that I was hand-picked to be the mother of Sam and Sydney Clare. How precious and honored I am! :)
From Proverbs 31 on "Mothering":
A Virtuous Woman teaches her children the ways of her Father in heaven. She nurtures her children with the love of Christ, disciplines them with care and wisdom, and trains them in the way they should go.
As a mother, I have my struggles. I have my moments of "wrong turns" and trials. But in my village....there are lots of "mothers" in their lives to pick up the slack. That, my friends, is a God thing. I'm having my own "Concert with God" this afternoon. In my car....in my office.....I'm praising Him through my storms. I'm singing loudly for Him. I'm worshipping Him in His glory. I'm forgiving others with His grace. I am completely and totally in love with and in awe of these creatures He has entrusted me with. To HIM, I give thanks.
Hug your kids and by all means, tell them about Jesus. So glad my mother did......(not because I am perfect and have always made the right choices....but because He never left me when I didn't.)
In Him,
Terri
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