Proverbs 22:6
Funny how our good Lord has SUCH the sense of humor! :) After my recent post....about the "fun part" of raising teens, told to me by many as one of their favorites....
Link is here:
http://terricoxbaker.blogspot.com/2013/05/20-things-im-not-supposed-to-say.html
......I've been sucker punched in the throat (lovingly of course! hehe) by seeing the above mentioned verse SO many times. Sounds easy enough.....raise them right and they won't stray. Right? wrong. Also after the post, I've taken a little heat for it.....as I knew I would.... from the little darlings that inspired it. lol I embarrass them so. Our new banter is ....."Ya better do what she says or she'll BLOG about it....." hehe. Yep. Every silly thing that happens, they tease that I'll write about it....or post about it. Yep. I'm the mom. I'm the boss of me.....and you. :) I keep promising that they will cherish it one day when I'm gone.....one day when they have these creatures called "teens" of their own. But right now? They are completely mortified and that makes it so much fun! :)
We all see the little "30 day challenges"....photo challenges, food challenges, exercise challenges, etc etc., that appear on facebook and instagram. For the most part, as I've pointed out so many times, these things get on my last nerve. They muddy up my newsfeed and I usually scroll right past them, but there are rare moments that these "unoriginal things" catch my eye. This one is the "30-day mom challenge." I'm sure I'm like every mom out there and can use all the help we can get, right??? Especially, when I am their only disciplinarian and they are in the God-forsaken teen years.
Sidenote: I've recently learned that the majority of my readers don't even know me. I have some from as far away as Russia, Japan, France, Australia. Cool huh? So with that said, I feel that I must first say that even though I make my kids (according to them) sound like little one-eyed monsters who defy the very essence of the human race.....they really ARE super kids. God blessed me with two of the most well-behaved, respectable, sweet-spirited, God-loving children on the planet. I know this. But.....they are kids. And those normal teen moments rear their ugly heads from time to time. And it makes for some good writing. :) I feel the need to introduce or RE-introduce the two blessings that call me "mom."
My Sam....sweet 16. Plays high school baseball, high school football, plugged in to FBC youth, Sunday School, and Choir, and works part time for Old Navy. A self-proclaimed "momma's boy" and is pretty proud of it. Wonderful grades, obeys my rules, has his first vehicle and is "in love" with a sweet girl who is not yet old enough to "date." He is mellow and little effects him. Very even keel. I don't believe I've ever spanked him. Ever. My biggest issue with him? The darn cell phone. I see more of the top of his head than anything. And when it dug into our family time, it now carries with it some pretty strict boundaries. Is he perfect? No. He is the type of kid that it is very, very difficult to get angry with. His "I love you moms" are plentiful and often. He doesn't run the streets, or drink, or get into trouble. He is a little naïve....and almost "dingy" at times. We share alot of laughs at his expense. :) Yes, he does have Satan pulling at him. This is the type of child that Satan will target.....because there is nothing scarier to the old devil than a kid with a love for the Lord at such a young age.....that is living it. We are working to prevent that. Diligently. Please pray for my Sam. He is having some pretty strong "growing pains."
And there is my Sydney Clare. Age 14. With the same personality as her momma. Strong-willed, no filter, emotions are always to the extreme....one way or another. Has a passion for everything she does. A perfectionist, almost to a fault. And a heart as good as gold. She has danced competitively since shortly after learning to walk. And is in her second her on the school dance team. She too, is involved with everything the church has to offer for her age. She has a love for children. She is the first to spend a summer day volunteering at a home for un-wed moms, or a daycare, than asking to go to the pool. She is my best friend. AND....the person that I butt heads with the most. I have created a monster by always giving in to her drama moments. And I'm trying to reverse that. :) Typical teenage daughter who thinks mom is the most uncool creature on the planet.....until she wants to borrow my clothes. :) I love my Syd. She was the best caretaker ever while I was going through chemo. After my surgery, she helped me with my drains, take baths, get dressed, and with the household duties. She administered my medicines, even sent my refills to the pharmacy. She grew up a lot in those months.
Both of my children know the value of a dollar. They understand having to wait until payday for this or that. Or the fact that even after payday, we are still broke and can't do this or that. We are a team. They have had to endure much more than most teens, their age....and still manage to thrive. I realize as a mom how blessed I am and that I am the lucky one. I watch them in awe. And I hurt for them and with them through growing up in this world. Together, we share a lot. Every evening, we pile into my bed and watch TV. We giggle at silly "inside jokes" and we are just plain dorks. I love this life with them. Even when they grumble because I make them mow the lawn, do the dishes, or vacuum the floor. Even if I could hand them the world with a silver spoon, I don't think I would. For they are learning to be "good folks." They know the Lord, they love the Lord, and they have a genuine respect for others.
Its starting to hit me that this time with them is sure slipping away. This challenge kind of caught my eye. I read down through the different "daily challenges" and here are my thoughts on where I can either pat myself on the back or improve...
By the way, here is your pretty "fridge copy" that you can use too! :)
http://www.imom.com/downloads/color-pdf/30_day_mom_challenege_2012_color.pdf
Ask: “What is one thing we can do together this month?”
Yay me! We spend tons of time together. I will, however, work on some "one on one" things.....and maybe some more "special, out of the ordinary type things." This month, I struck gold...Family Vacay. Check!
Yay me! We spend tons of time together. I will, however, work on some "one on one" things.....and maybe some more "special, out of the ordinary type things." This month, I struck gold...Family Vacay. Check!
Go the whole day without yelling.
This one I need to work on. I'm a screamer. I have a precious friend one time that said she specifically wanted to move back out into the country so she could really yell at her kids and the neighbors wouldn't know. haha So me. I saw somewhere where the "lean in and whisper" goes much further than an eruption. We are loud people. Gonna try this one. Prayers please! :)
This one I need to work on. I'm a screamer. I have a precious friend one time that said she specifically wanted to move back out into the country so she could really yell at her kids and the neighbors wouldn't know. haha So me. I saw somewhere where the "lean in and whisper" goes much further than an eruption. We are loud people. Gonna try this one. Prayers please! :)
Hug your child three times today.
I'm a hugger. My kiddos are huggers. But three times per child is kind of a lot if ya think about it. Gonna do this one.
I'm a hugger. My kiddos are huggers. But three times per child is kind of a lot if ya think about it. Gonna do this one.
Kiss your children while they are asleep.
I do this often. Don't even think they know.
I do this often. Don't even think they know.
Say to yourself, “He’s only ___ years old. He’s still a child.” Then, treat him that way.
I do this. BUT.....Its usually in the reverse of what this is intended. I say...."You are 14 / 16 years old.....you should be acting like it!" Hmmmmm......I think I could use some improvement here.
I do this. BUT.....Its usually in the reverse of what this is intended. I say...."You are 14 / 16 years old.....you should be acting like it!" Hmmmmm......I think I could use some improvement here.
Bake, make, or buy them their favorite food.
I'm not a cook. In fact, they feel my forehead when I actually cook something besides "boxed" dinners. Before chemo, I was better. But we are guilty of fast food. I blame it on our busy lives and that IS a factor. But I'm guilty here. Momma needs to do better.
I'm not a cook. In fact, they feel my forehead when I actually cook something besides "boxed" dinners. Before chemo, I was better. But we are guilty of fast food. I blame it on our busy lives and that IS a factor. But I'm guilty here. Momma needs to do better.
Leave a sweet note for them.
Sweet texts don't count. Notes it is. I used to write notes and leave in their lunch boxes. But......no more lunch boxes, therefore no more notes.
Sweet texts don't count. Notes it is. I used to write notes and leave in their lunch boxes. But......no more lunch boxes, therefore no more notes.
Calculate how many weekends are left until your child graduates from high school.
69ish for Sam121ish for Sydney Clare.
I think I just threw up in my mouth....Bible.
Picture yourself at your child’s age. Remember how you felt.
I totally thought I knew it all. Only to wish I knew what I know now. What warms my heart the most, is that my mom was without a doubt the best person in my life and everything I wanted to be. Not saying that is how my kiddos feel about me.....but how eye-opening to think what if they do? I gotta shape up! Thank ya Lord for sockin it to me! :)
I totally thought I knew it all. Only to wish I knew what I know now. What warms my heart the most, is that my mom was without a doubt the best person in my life and everything I wanted to be. Not saying that is how my kiddos feel about me.....but how eye-opening to think what if they do? I gotta shape up! Thank ya Lord for sockin it to me! :)
Today’s mom focus: Joy.
This one is a biggie. I cannot imagine any parent out there that doesn't receive joy from anything greater than their kiddos. With that joy is great risk......No greater pain than watching them hurt. Or not being able to fix everything FOR them. My greatest joy has been trying to change my life from doing things FOR Jesus to doing things WITH Jesus. I recognize "joy" so much more now. I must teach them. I must teach them. I must teach them. Hard to teach things you are still learning yourself! Prayers needed here too.
This one is a biggie. I cannot imagine any parent out there that doesn't receive joy from anything greater than their kiddos. With that joy is great risk......No greater pain than watching them hurt. Or not being able to fix everything FOR them. My greatest joy has been trying to change my life from doing things FOR Jesus to doing things WITH Jesus. I recognize "joy" so much more now. I must teach them. I must teach them. I must teach them. Hard to teach things you are still learning yourself! Prayers needed here too.
Tell your child, “I am so glad you are my son/daughter.”
Ding Ding Ding! Another good mom moment. They know this.
Ding Ding Ding! Another good mom moment. They know this.
Pray for wisdom.
Among other things.....I do this more than once a day. Let alone one time a month. Check!
Among other things.....I do this more than once a day. Let alone one time a month. Check!
Do not criticize your child today.
I wouldn't necessarily say I am "critical" of my kids. But I can see where in my guidance to them as a mom, that they might think I am. Gotta work on that. I try hard to give the "reprimand sandwich." I learned this in college, and am shown this in my job. Always start with a positive.....lead into the discipline......end on a loving positive note. "I love YOU.....not necessarily your behavior." I guess there is a difference in criticism and discipline. But I also remember not really seeing that difference as a teen. Grateful for this reminder.
I wouldn't necessarily say I am "critical" of my kids. But I can see where in my guidance to them as a mom, that they might think I am. Gotta work on that. I try hard to give the "reprimand sandwich." I learned this in college, and am shown this in my job. Always start with a positive.....lead into the discipline......end on a loving positive note. "I love YOU.....not necessarily your behavior." I guess there is a difference in criticism and discipline. But I also remember not really seeing that difference as a teen. Grateful for this reminder.
Remember: being a mother is a gift.
Oh my goodness. The greatest blessings EVER!!!
Oh my goodness. The greatest blessings EVER!!!
Be firm when needed, but not harsh.
I am quick-tempered and harsh. Guilty. I need a miracle of a change on this one. Like changing "water into wine". :( Bad mommy moment here.
I am quick-tempered and harsh. Guilty. I need a miracle of a change on this one. Like changing "water into wine". :( Bad mommy moment here.
Picture your child at age 25. Mother with that end in mind today.
Gonna be real here for a moment. I hope I'm around to see them turn 25. Darn Cancer. Otherwise, I can totally see them and makes my heart smile.
Gonna be real here for a moment. I hope I'm around to see them turn 25. Darn Cancer. Otherwise, I can totally see them and makes my heart smile.
Laugh with your child today.
We are so goofy. Passing gas is an artform, no matter which end it comes from. We totally love to open our mouths while chewing like we are 5 and giggle because its so gross. NO....we know better than to do them in public. And we are aware we are totally weird. But its hilarious. We dance. We sing. We have so many inside jokes that I could list, but no one would understand or find funny except us. We always laugh together. Check.....Double Check! :)
We are so goofy. Passing gas is an artform, no matter which end it comes from. We totally love to open our mouths while chewing like we are 5 and giggle because its so gross. NO....we know better than to do them in public. And we are aware we are totally weird. But its hilarious. We dance. We sing. We have so many inside jokes that I could list, but no one would understand or find funny except us. We always laugh together. Check.....Double Check! :)
Who is a mom you admire? What quality of hers can you live out today?
My own. I can't possibly lay out my feelings of this one is just a few lines. I have blogged about her so many times. Here is a link to a post about her that I wrote on her birthday last year....
http://terricoxbaker.blogspot.com/2012/05/may-27-happy-happy-birthday.html
The main thing I remember that my mom last told me, "Continue to raise your children in the company of Christian friends." I would love to be just like her in every since of the word. The only difference.....is I hope to beat this monster and be a survivor for many many years. Just like she wanted to do. I want to see my grandbabies....and great grand-babies. Otherwise....hands down. She is the mom I most admire.
My own. I can't possibly lay out my feelings of this one is just a few lines. I have blogged about her so many times. Here is a link to a post about her that I wrote on her birthday last year....
http://terricoxbaker.blogspot.com/2012/05/may-27-happy-happy-birthday.html
The main thing I remember that my mom last told me, "Continue to raise your children in the company of Christian friends." I would love to be just like her in every since of the word. The only difference.....is I hope to beat this monster and be a survivor for many many years. Just like she wanted to do. I want to see my grandbabies....and great grand-babies. Otherwise....hands down. She is the mom I most admire.
Teach your child one thing he can do on his own.
hehehehe.....DEAL! This is a mother's dream!
hehehehe.....DEAL! This is a mother's dream!
Today’s focus: Patience.
Back to that whole "quick tempered" thing. Goes along with Patience. I'm getting better. But a long ways to go.
Back to that whole "quick tempered" thing. Goes along with Patience. I'm getting better. But a long ways to go.
Forgive yourself when you mess up.
Sigh. No greater failure than when I mom makes "mom mistakes." I believe in this idea. Still struggling on putting it into action.
Sigh. No greater failure than when I mom makes "mom mistakes." I believe in this idea. Still struggling on putting it into action.
How do you want your child to remember you? Be that mom today.
I wanna be their hero. I want their greatest of memories to include ME. I want to be their best friend. I want Sam to want to search the world over to find a woman just like me. And I want my Sydney to strive to be like her momma. I want them to see my love for Jesus. And to long for a relationship with Him that continues to grow. I want them to remember me smiling. I want them to remember it's ok to be goofy. Ok to laugh. I want them to remember our gentle moments. I hope they always remember the way I "lived and loved" and not they way I died. I want them to remember that I was ALWAYS there for them in whatever they needed. They can always look over their shoulder and find me there. I also want them to want to live very close to me! Even next door is ok! :)
I wanna be their hero. I want their greatest of memories to include ME. I want to be their best friend. I want Sam to want to search the world over to find a woman just like me. And I want my Sydney to strive to be like her momma. I want them to see my love for Jesus. And to long for a relationship with Him that continues to grow. I want them to remember me smiling. I want them to remember it's ok to be goofy. Ok to laugh. I want them to remember our gentle moments. I hope they always remember the way I "lived and loved" and not they way I died. I want them to remember that I was ALWAYS there for them in whatever they needed. They can always look over their shoulder and find me there. I also want them to want to live very close to me! Even next door is ok! :)
Replace sarcasm with kindness.
Ok. I get it. I'm a smarty-pants. But in a loving way. Is that ok? :)
Ok. I get it. I'm a smarty-pants. But in a loving way. Is that ok? :)
Do not interrupt your child when he is talking.
<hiding under bed now> Guilty.
<hiding under bed now> Guilty.
Ask your child’s opinion.
Actually, I do that often. And I listen.
Actually, I do that often. And I listen.
Encourage your child today.
I'm feeling pretty confident that I master that as well. I'm pretty much an obnoxious bragging mom. Yep....one of those.....
I'm feeling pretty confident that I master that as well. I'm pretty much an obnoxious bragging mom. Yep....one of those.....
Do one thing that is good for your health: walk 10 minutes; eat a piece of fruit; or get a good night’s sleep.
How about trying every shake that Sonic has this summer? They are half-price after 8?
Just kidding. Will do.
How about trying every shake that Sonic has this summer? They are half-price after 8?
Just kidding. Will do.
Teach your child a new word.
Now there is a concept. They are usually teaching ME. "Totes Presh".....i.e, "Totally Precious". I have taught them a love for 80's music. I'll work on the word thing.
Now there is a concept. They are usually teaching ME. "Totes Presh".....i.e, "Totally Precious". I have taught them a love for 80's music. I'll work on the word thing.
Turn off your phone, computer, or TV when your child is with you.
No comment. I'm totally hanging my head in shame. Candy Crush has the best of me. Headed for boundaries for myself.
No comment. I'm totally hanging my head in shame. Candy Crush has the best of me. Headed for boundaries for myself.
Today’s focus: Love.
EVERY DAY!
EVERY DAY!
I'm adding my own at the end....."Write a letter to your kids.....something they will treasure." My mother wrote me a letter before she died. I still cherish it. I am doing this soon. Personally, to each child. And soon. I may even publish those someday.
A pretty good challenge don't ya think? While I often fail, and am certainly not perfect, I had a wonderful example of a mother and I think I do a decent job most days. For my two, they are my world.
But I have a dark side. I have a sweet man in my life, who is the father of four. Due to my previous marriage, and not the best relationship with step-children, despite how hard I tried, I've kept a wall up from being a step-parent ever again. I was up front from the very beginning with David and my relationship with these children have been at arms length. Don't get me wrong....I'm not mean to them. I love them dearly. But I've had such a phobia of getting too close. AND for the majority of my relationship, I was fighting an illness which made me not a load of fun. Some of these are reasons, some are excuses.
David has prayed relentlessly and God's timing has placed a conviction on me. I've opened my door and my heart to begin a relationship.....a loving, parental relationship with these four little boys. I am going to try to make it a priority to be the best "bonus buddy" I can be to them. They deserve all the love I know I have to give. And this man has proven himself to be worthy of my courage to try. This challenge....I will stand together with their father.....to not only nurture their relationship, but to also nurture ours. It hit me, that God has most likely placed these sweet boys in my life for a reason. And at a time when mine is growing closer and closer to leaving the nest. See? Showing His sense of humor....FOUR? :) I'm working to adjust my ways to embrace this is a way to love deeper and stronger. They have a mom. They need a friend. Please don't judge me....for you have not walked in my shoes. Rather, join me in prayer as I take this big step....for us. His plan is perfect -- right down to those in my life holding me accountable....and I'm trusting in it the best I know how.
I'll keep ya posted! :)
In Him,
Terri
A pretty good challenge don't ya think? While I often fail, and am certainly not perfect, I had a wonderful example of a mother and I think I do a decent job most days. For my two, they are my world.
But I have a dark side. I have a sweet man in my life, who is the father of four. Due to my previous marriage, and not the best relationship with step-children, despite how hard I tried, I've kept a wall up from being a step-parent ever again. I was up front from the very beginning with David and my relationship with these children have been at arms length. Don't get me wrong....I'm not mean to them. I love them dearly. But I've had such a phobia of getting too close. AND for the majority of my relationship, I was fighting an illness which made me not a load of fun. Some of these are reasons, some are excuses.
David has prayed relentlessly and God's timing has placed a conviction on me. I've opened my door and my heart to begin a relationship.....a loving, parental relationship with these four little boys. I am going to try to make it a priority to be the best "bonus buddy" I can be to them. They deserve all the love I know I have to give. And this man has proven himself to be worthy of my courage to try. This challenge....I will stand together with their father.....to not only nurture their relationship, but to also nurture ours. It hit me, that God has most likely placed these sweet boys in my life for a reason. And at a time when mine is growing closer and closer to leaving the nest. See? Showing His sense of humor....FOUR? :) I'm working to adjust my ways to embrace this is a way to love deeper and stronger. They have a mom. They need a friend. Please don't judge me....for you have not walked in my shoes. Rather, join me in prayer as I take this big step....for us. His plan is perfect -- right down to those in my life holding me accountable....and I'm trusting in it the best I know how.
I'll keep ya posted! :)
In Him,
Terri
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