Slobs, Be Gone!

As I write tonight?  I'm hangin my ole head in shame.  Momma had a first class meltdown.  I admit it.  In all honesty, I really don't feel bad.

I've gotten really lazy.  When I get home from the office after an 8-10 hour day, I am virtually bed-ridden.  Other than getting out to water the grass here and there, I am a hermit.  Curling up with my DVR, my iPad, a glass of sweet tea, my fuzzy blanket and an old-fashioned box fan. 

When we moved in last April, it was 3 weeks before my diagnosis.  So pretty much my whole time in this house has been spent in the confines of my bedroom.  So it has become my little safe haven...my hidey hole...and basically my "habit".  The kiddos pile up with me to watch TV.  Tonight, we were all sitting in mom's bed, watching a movie and eating pizza.  "Bed picnic." We have a living room, a den, and everyone has a TV in their own room....but we pile in Momma's room. 

I will tell you, that while I feel more like myself than I have in over a year.....I still have the tiredness that I can't shake.  I don't sleep well, which in turn effects the rest of my day.  I need a nap every afternoon, and most days, I give in.  A nap that late in the day/evening....just makes for a grumpy mom. 

Yes, I'm totally playing the "cancer/chemo card" because it makes me feel a little better for being a lazy bum. But, these creatures under my roof are big ole slobs! My house is a wreck and its driving me crazy.  There was actually a toilet in my house with a ring around it.  ewwwwwww.......

I remember a time when I was the Super "Ninja" mom.  Hauling kids around while studying spelling words from behind the wheel.  Supper in the crockpot while the hum of the laundry going.  I came home to a clean kitchen and a bed that was neatly made with the throw pillows "just so."  The kids knew my little "quirks" like making sure the throw blankets were folded and in its basket, the shower curtain was pulled and the table was cleaned off.  And everyone knew to only eat in the kitchen and no shoes on the carpet.  Area rugs that "walked" needed to be straightened and rooms picked up.  Momma hates clutter.

For the last year?  We have muddled by.  The kids kinda doing their own laundry.  The house getting a good cleaning only when I had a meltdown, much like tonight.....or if friends showed up to do it, or if we were having company.  I hate to cook.  Hate it.  So thankful that David handles the majority of our meals.

I really feel like a loser.  When my home is out of sorts?  My life feels out of sorts.  Period.  My goal this next week is to get things under control, before school starts and my free labor is gone! hehe  To get the yard in tip top shape.  To spring clean.  To straighten the garage.  My kids are about to see a drill sergeant barking orders to get my sanity back.  I let them see a little of that side tonight.

To my kiddos?  This is your warning.  Momma's back. :)

1 Corinthians 14:40  "But all things should be done decently and in order."

In Him,
Terri