Ahhhhhhh......Thursday! This week has been an "odd" one! First of all, ALL my favorite men have been many many miles from me! Of course, Sam has been on Choir Tour....And on a wonderful journey among Christian friends and with our God. I wouldn't trade that for ANYTHING for him. Selfishly though, I miss his face! :) I miss his smile....I even miss tripping over his shoes and his eating me out of house and home! He is SURE to be running out of money by now.....I promise to make good on any "IOUs" that he may have incurred! That boy has a hollow leg! :) Still I know he is on "Cloud 9"! Literally.....
Here is was walking a tight-rope high in the air! Good for him. I am afraid of heights.....I like my hiney planted firmly on the ground! :) Still.....I can't wait to love on him Saturday night and spend Sunday hearing about all of the wonderful ways Pure Energy has touched others and been touched by our Father this week. Sunday morning will be an incredible service and PE has their homecoming concert Sunday evening. Sure to be an AWESOME day at FBC.....Friends, come join us! :)
Also, my David has been working in Texas all week. Sure have missed that boy! He kinda spoils me when he's around! :) I know he is working hard....and misses home. Hopefully he misses me too just a tad! Since I've had to rely on pics to see him all week....here are a couple of my favs.....
Words cannot express how I've missed him! He is the epitome of "Loving me at my Worst"....so he "Deserves me at my Best!" :)) God sure has his fingerprints all over his placement in my life. Sometimes I'm not sure if I deserve HIM! Can't wait to see him tomorrow night!!!
I will admit though....Syd and I have had some fun girl time! We've laughed alot at nothing.....we've cried at sappy movies.....we have done some window shopping.....and even bought her a new pair of flip flops! :) We have had snuggle time with girly shows and giggled like silly girls. I tried letting her sleep with me one night....but she is like sleeping with a bucking bronco! Back to her bed she went for sleep time....but we've enjoyed being "just the girls" for a few days for sure! :) Tonight, we have sweet Emme staying with us, so they are off to watch "We bought a Zoo"....and I'm settled in with my Diva weenie dog to blog a while.
I love her! :)
Syd and I have a date Saturday morning! The New Outlook Center at St. Vincent's has a "makeover" day prepared for those of us "Cancer Patients".....(wow, that's a group I never hoped to join...) but anyway, from what I understand, they have representatives from Clinique, Estee Lauder, Lancome, and I'm sure others.....that will come and give make-up tips, etc. free of charge. Basically, a girly day of "pampering" for a couple of hours. They do have an emphasis on tips during Chemo....trying to avoid that "gray" look that often comes with it. Hmmmmm.....I am just starting to allow myself to "go there" about what I'm going to look like through chemo.....so not sure how I feel about that. I've never thought of myself as a vain person.....but I kinda am a little high maintenance! :)
I've never been "pretty" by the world's standards. But I was JUST starting to feel a little better about myself after the weight loss. I worked hard at it....and it was nice to see a size 6 again. :) Now...nothing about me is "pretty".....and I'm not sure how I'm going to be able to pull off the "chemo look".....so Saturday is more about something fun and "free" that she and I can do together! They encouraged me to "bring a friend"....and she is my BFF! :)) I am also hoping to possibly meet a few others that I can get info from. I'm all about pickin brains of what is to come for me. I will quickly meet new friends I'm sure. God has a way of making sure of that! :)
This week has brought with it more recovery. I'm still having the burning pain. At times, its better, but nights are still complete with ice and ibuprofen! Still pretty tired in the evenings, and I guess a tad discouraged that I've not bounced back as quickly as I'd hoped. I'm 4 weeks post surgery.....still holding on a little longer that I'll feel better soon. I've had ZERO doctors this week. I've worked a complete week....which means a full paycheck next week! whoop! Even cleaned a house in there! :) I've had my evenings relatively free since Sambo has been out of town. Had he been here, you'd have found me at the ballpark. Anyway, I've used this time spending it with my babygirl, and mentally preparing myself for all the "fun and games" next week.
I've also been trying to get organized at home. Syd and I worked on the millions of "Thank You" notes I'm behind on. SOOOOOO many have reached out to us. I also organized my little office an made files for all the doctors, hospitals, radiologists, pharmacy, etc. etc... Funny how you can get charged from people you didn't ever see or know existed! I heard a joke somewhere....."I got my bill for my surgery....Now I know why doctors wear masks!" hehehe Ok...I don't really feel that way about my doctors.....they are fabulous and are on God's team to hopefully saving my life! But this life I'm saving will be forever in debt for the rest of it....literally. Sigh......I can barely afford the insurance premiums....and by the time I meet my deductibles and my 20%....it will be a new year and we start over. Yes, I'm whining! I know what my brother would tell me.....to walk to the shed.....get out my tall ladder.....and just get over it! Can't change it. So deal with it I will do! :) God will take care of us. He always has.....So I'm not worried.
Anyway....Next week. The "Big C".....no, not cancer....."Chemo".....blah. Before that, a busy week with both kiddos home.....a complete football and baseball schedule, keeping my Sydney occupied, working and three days of doctors appointments. I am to have an echo-cardiogram on Monday, followed by an oncologist appointment. I didn't realize when I made the appointment so late in the day that Sambo played that evening. So gonna pray his flow that afternoon is such they can work me in sooner. I. don't. miss. ballgames. Sam plays Tues, Thurs, and the following weekend.
I have a small surgery next Thurs. morning to get the port placed. And Chemo begins next Friday. The dreaded poison that scared us to death everytime we heard it with my mother....and a fear that I'm facing head-on in a short week. Sigh. Let's do it....time to "Fight like a girl!"! :) Had a visit from my sweet Sonya tonight. She stayed about an hour and we caught up on things. She told me about the movie "50/50" that she had rented a few days ago. She "reluctantly" recommended the movie, even retracted the recommendation a couple of times, not knowing how I'd react....but Syd and I headed to redbox anyway.
50/50 is about a young man diagnosed with cancer. Its a "laughter through tears" kinda movie. While his cancer is much different than mine....from the diagnosis to the prognosis......it still hit home. The language is what makes it Rated R....they throw that "f" word around a little. But past that....it was a good movie. Spoiler alert if you are planning to rent it.......the guy lives so it ended me feeling pretty good! Although....the chemo parts were exactly what I'm expecting and fearing. Sigh. I need prayers. My anxiety about it is starting to climb through the roof. I feel the need to make a joke right now.....I stepped on the scales this morning, first time in a while. So I guess I wouldn't mind just puking about 10 lbs worth! :) Just might be a "silver lining" in the old chemo....! :))
I've rambled my way past midnight.....and that darn alarm clock next to my bed doesn't care. So, I better get some sleep.....
Before I go, I want to share another song of mine that has meaning. The kids and I took the KLOVE "30 day challenge" starting the first of 2012.....which is to listen to nothing but Christian music for 30 days. While KLove has always had its own "button" programmed into my favorite stations.....6 months later....we are still listening to nothing but. Its on every station at the office as well. God's word through music helps me through many tough moments. Uplifts me when I need it. And helps me to praise and worship throughout my day. You would be hard pressed to find a song on that station that doesn't speak to you.....but funny how there are some days that one might stick out over another.
Josh Wilson's "Dark before Morning" tells my story of this very moment in time. This moment today. Word for word.....It could have been written about my life. (and so many others, I'm sure!) He played a concert with Steven Curtis Chapman at FBC earlier this year....and when he sang the song that night, little did I know how it would be "about me"...TO me....in just a few short months. (Another God Thing....) Now, I know not EVERYONE can sing. Lord knows I can't. But I've attached a video with the lyrics. Before you sign off this post....IF you have made it this far...hehee....please sing along. Turn your volume up! Listen to every word.....And sing with me!! :)
For anyone who honored my request.....and sang "loud and proud"....please let me know! :)
My mom once said that you can choose to be in self-pity and wallow about your circumstances. Which I definately DO on occassion. But you also have the choice to "bloom" right where you are planted! :) That is my goal! I'm not there yet......but workin on it!
Some days there won't necessarily be a song in your heart.....but sing anyway! :)
In Him,
Terri
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