No more drains and new "girls"!! :)))

What a pretty darn good day!  But as always..."Doctor Days" always bring with it brain overload, a range of emotions, and news.....be it good, be it bad....new info.

Dropped my Sambo off at football practice in the wee hours this morning at 6:45 a.m. and headed into work for a few minutes to pull messages off the machine before heading into Little Rock to meet with Dr. Hagans.  I always like talks with my Sam in the mornings.  He is my "morning child"....never gets out of that car without a "Love ya mom!".....kinda comes out like one word...."loveyamom" but I never tire of spending time with him....even if its only for the 10 minute ride to the complex.

Got to the doc's office and Deb rolled in just in time to help me into the paper gown.  :)  In came the Doc....with hugs for us both.  I just love him!  I REALLY loved him today since he removed my drains.  I kinda giggled with a threat that if he didn't take them he might get hit with one of them!  hehehe..... I can't TELL you how free I felt without those things!  Anyway, inscissions were looking ok.  Kept me on the remainder of the antibiotic and sent me off to see sweet Barb to schedule my port placement.  Deb dressed me and out we went.

As always, his staff greets us with smiles and hugs....You almost forget why you are there....well, kinda almost!  :) 

Scheduled for my port placement which is a little outpatient surgery for June 14th.  Chemo begins on June 15th.  Didn't want that darn port any longer than I had to!  :)

Dr. Hagans wrote my prescriptions for bras and prosthesis.  Deb and I marched over to Barbara Graves' (via Cracker Barrel for breakfast first! :) for my fitting.  Wanted to go ahead and get the fitting before port placement so that they can work around it.  What a fun day!  Got to choose my look!  hehehe   Do I go "stripper porn star?" or "baseball mom"?  :))  Laugh with me.  Sweet little Elsa got a kick out of us.  We opted for the Baseball Mom approach of course.  But one can play.  Gotta find some fun in this cancer thing!

Not everyone gets to carry their boobies out in a pretty purple bag.  But I did!  I was excited to get back to work....and complete the day.  Didn't see a soul all day!  haha  I kinda rushed it a bit.  Most people don't begin to wear them until 6 weeks ago out of surgery due to the soreness.  And I quickly saw why.  Couldn't wait to get home and get the boobies off!  haha  Had about an hour to rest and then off to the Panther Baseball Banquet.

Was a fun evening.  Benton Baseball is more than just a sport.  It truly is a family.  Never seen anything like it.  The Coaches love these kids.  The parents love these kids.  And everyone loves each other!!!  Nothing has touched me like seeing my name lifted up in prayer via the "Bleacher Parents Ministry".....who says God isn't in our schools???  Trust me....He is very much a part of this Baseball Program.  Might be a little secret to its success......:)  Something to think about!  :)

Anyway....great food, great friends, I was proud to show off the girls.....and sport my "no drains look".  I went from looking like a pregnant 12 year old back to ME!  :)  I even let a few girlfriends "take a peek" and "cop a feel".....darn it!  I was proud to feel NORMAL again!  It was a night full of the year's baseball memories and successes.  The Coaches fought back tears in reflection of the year....which in turn made me shed a few.  God has riched us so deeply via my Sam's love for the game.  I can't wait to go through his next three years of Benton High School with these people.  I know I can entrust them with not only making him a better baseball player....but also an honorable young man.  I know it sounds weird...but thank you Lord for Benton Baseball!  :)

Came home....and had a rough night.  I was in quite a bit of pain....and chose to leave the girls at home today.  Just too soon. :(

Deb also talked to Brenda today, Dr. Sneed's oncology nurse.  She got the low down on my treatment plan.  On paper....its not great folks.  My cancer is considered "triple negative" (estrogen negative, progesterone negative and HER2 negative) meaning there is no known way to prevent it.  They can only kill it.  Meaning it will have to strike and we have to be there waiting for it.  My history stinks.  I'm still trying to digest exactly how I feel about that.  It is very invasive and very aggressive.  While I've had some pretty big victories along the way, and prognosis is good, I'm having moments of fear and reality setting in.  Most likely I will be fighting this forever.  :( 

Please pray for us.  Stress is overwhelming me beyond measure.  My support system is awesome.  But life still goes on whether I have cancer or not.  Moments of feeling alone are frequent and horrible....believe it or not!  :)  The kids still ask questions and I can see the scared looks from time to time.  Please never cease the prayers.  Please.

To my Kim, I'm so happy that today is finally here for you.  Praying for you and your medical team and your precious family.  I love you!!!

In Him,
Terri