Crazy College Momma....

Something has happened. Yesterday, I was changing his diaper and today? I'm trying to make sure he is equipped to MOVE OUT OF MY HOUSE! My Sam will come home now...TO VISIT. Wait, what????

My baby is no longer a Senior. But a Freshman.

His "school supply list" just became the "dorm supply list". The other kids in his class just became the roommates who will live with my kid every single night and day.  His teammates are strangers to us.

And don’t even get me started on the bills...and the fact that there are only THREE paydays until move-in day.

Perhaps most challenging of it all, these are the last weeks before my baby flies the nest, and it’s quite possible I am experiencing a season of emotional meltdown that rivals postpartum depression.

Here’s a checklist of symptoms in the event I'm not alone.. PLEASE, tell me I'm not alone.

*   You torment yourself by starting a mental countdown of the weeks and days until they leave (as if it’s an execution date or something).

*   Random things make you burst into tears: their childhood photos, their underwear in the bathroom floor, their dirty cereal bowl left on the counter…the first glance at their tuition bill.

*   You get super clingy and follow your kid around the house asking to hang out with them every waking moment of the day.

*   You find yourself lurking in the hallway of their bedroom watching them sleep.

*   You try to convince your boss that you need time off for Family Medical Leave because you’re paralyzed with grief thinking about your kid leaving for college. (They decline Family Medical Leave, so you ask if Bereavement Leave covers college departure. Because it should, for reals.)

*   Your nesting instinct goes into overdrive and you realize you’ve spent more on dorm room essentials than on an entire semester of college room & board.

*   You start planning visits and care packages before they’ve even left.

*   You are borderline ANGRY when his high school football team can even THINK about playing without him.

*   You offer heartfelt hugs in solidarity with random strangers in the check-out aisle at Target upon noticing that they, too, are a weepy-eyed mothers with carts full of color-coordinated hangers, room organizers, hand sanitizer, and obscene amounts of socks and underwear.

*   You consider a U-haul truck for the "tax free" weekend and 20% coupon will make it necessary for the loot from your upcoming trip to Bed, Bath & Beyond.

*   You "social media stalk" your kid’s college roommate trying to determine if there’s any possibility this space-sharing stranger could be a sex-crazed, kleptomaniac, nocturnal, meth-cooking psychopath with poor hygiene or bad study habits. Even further....you stalk their family. :/

*  You lose hours of beauty sleep each night while looking through decades of old photos—including ones from your own college days—and wonder how all of these glorious years went by so fast and you could possibly be this old.

And then you realize the age you somehow thought you still were is the age your kid has now become.

And you begin to embrace the process of truly letting them go.

After all–this season is not about your time that’s ending; it’s about their time that’s just beginning.

So, dear parent–though it may feel like sending them off to college is the final curtain call of parenthood, I promise you that it’s not. In truth, your influence is perhaps going to become even more important during these upcoming years.

Our children are entering into one of the most spiritually and personally formative times in their life, and they’re going to need our wisdom, support and love more than ever.

And once they walk out that door for the real world, they’ll actually seek our advice instead of snarling at it. So grab the Kleenex, pack the boxes, pay the bills, and start planning for all of the ways to stay connected with them while our kids venture into this exciting time.

And keep reminding yourself that for everyone, the best is yet to come.

Yes, this is MY take on a silly list sent to me from a friend today.  But its oh, so true.  In all honesty....My God has answered prayers for my Sam.  He is heading to a wonderful God-loving, Christ-centered environment.  He has met the sweetest of friends.  He doesn't have a scary roommate.  I've reached out to his sweet mom, who may think I am psychotic!  lol He will achieve his higher learning, loving the Lord, and playing baseball.  His new coach said at our recent signing....

"There are a thousand churches and restaurants and colleges in this little town.  Your child will get plenty to eat, a great education, and lots of Jesus!"  

Amen.

SO!  For the next 17 days.....yes.  1-7.  As in 2 weeks and 3 days.  I will complete our shopping list, our to-do list, work LOTS of overtime to try to finish fixing his truck so the little darling won't be walking, (donations accepted!  ha)   and try to teach him ANYTHING I may have forgotten.  Makin my lists....and checkin them twice.....

I will love on him.  Encourage him.  Pray for him.  Enjoy him.  And remind him to cherish every cotton-pickin moment.  He doesn't know it...but its the best years of his life!  My cup overflows....

But really...

I'm not ready. I need another year. Please???

Central Baptist College....Here come's my Sam!  Take care of him!

"Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9


In Him,

Terri

My "Baseball Peeps"

Tomorrow night is Sam's last baseball game at Panther Field.  Senior night.  This is it.

I still remember his first game at Panther Field.  He was 14 years old.  His division of the Wally Hall Tournament was played there that year....and he stepped on that field with his "Arkansas Cubs" team.  I remember this field....looking at it in awe.   It seemed to swallow them up.  So big.  I remember him so excited to dream of playing there.  For all of his "baseball life" he dreamed of being a Benton Panther.  All the travel, the money spent, the lessons, the time....being a "Panther" was the goal.

I remember those games.....that "Coach B" was there watching.  And when my Sam caught a ball....or made a play....or even struck out....I glanced to see if he was looking.  IF Sam impressed him at all.  Because, Sam SO MUCH wanted to be a Panther.

Let me go back though, and tell you what this game brought into our lives.  Friends.  Best friends.  In fact, I have fellow baseball parents on my kids' "in case of emergency and you can't reach mom..." form at the school.  Even further, one of them can sign for my medical records....at all of my many doctors.

We have been through so much together.  Death, divorce, illness, marriages, job changes, moves, and soon to be "births."  :)  At any given moment, I can pick up the phone and most likely have no less than 10 people I could call for help....for anything.  Anytime. (Probably more.)  We have shared a world record of laughs together.  And almost as many tears.  A few cuss words, lots of miles of across several states, quite a few hotels, so many meals, and friends.....TONS of prayer.  I know these people genuinely celebrate our victories with us....and grieve our hurts.  Each of us take it personally, when someone hurts one of "us."

Life has sometimes taken us in different directions....but there is a bond, and a love, that this group....THIS family....shares.  My son (AND his little sister) share lots of mommas.  And...thank GOD... lots of dads.  No matter how much time passes, we have an understanding....a true loyalty....that few understand.  We have raised these kiddos in the company of loving, Christian friends.  And, together....we have survived all that life has thrown at us.

I get it that few understand.  I've written about my baseball family before.....but there just aren't words to express how I know without a shadow of a doubt that God's fingerprints were all OVER this group and our journey.  Yes, we have lots of trophies under our belt....even a state championship....that I can remember like it was yesterday. 

 But, what I remember most? 

Is the times I received a text from a fellow parent that he saw Sam's pic in the paper.  

Or to see if Sydney made the dance team.  

Or how they cheered for Sam in football (and they didn't even have a player out there.) 

How they held my hand through my illness.  

Showed up to clean my house, and took laundry home.  

How they took me to chemo....and sat outside the surgery door with me.  

How God placed me at a baseball game....the very day of my diagnosis.  And they knew....before my own children knew.  

How they circled in prayer and lifted me up, following a game. 

How they showed up with orange slushies and "tator tot casseroles" because they knew it was a family fave.

When I found a bottle of nail polish in my mailbox, because I mentioned loving the color.  

How a mom of all boys purchased a "first day of school" outfit for my Sydney....because they knew how important that was "to a girl."

When they snap pics of my child....and share them...because they are ALL our boys.  Not just our own.

That when ANYONE can say, "Pray for me", and we KNOW that heads are bowed all over town.

When they pitched in and took my kiddos to and fro....when I wasn't able.

How two of the "little brothers" donated to us in lieu of gifts at their birthday party.

And how a "big brother" gave Sambo a ride to football....for weeks....because I wasn't able.

And when I'm late to a game...my phone sounds like a slot machine going off with all of texts coming in about an awesome play my Sam just made.

When I see one of the boys....they hug me....and hang on for a minute, and say, "Hi momma"....

How any of them can spot in a "New York" minute....when I've had a bad day, or if my heart is hurting.  They can ask, hug or just shoot me a "knowing look"....letting me know they love me.  That they care.

And the times I can't be there, and Sam needs a ride or a few bucks....he can ask anyone to spot him.....and they GENUINELY don't mind.

How one man's aunt....is EVERYONE's Aunt.  

How when I look across the church on Sunday morning....and meet eyes with most all of them....

All the little "inside things"....like "hominy, hominy, hominy" are just a touch of the memories that this group has created just loving one another.  Times we will all carry with us forever.

The moms, the dads, the boys, the little brothers/sisters.....the celebrations and victories, and the heartbreak and sadness.  These men who have been such an inspiration in my son's life.....when he needed it so.  They were more than coaches.  It's all just a wrapped up in a beautiful little package that I know came straight from God.

Some of our "family" are miles away.  Some are across town at that "other school."  :)  Some have moved on to other sports. Some were ripped from us physically... but are forever a part of "US."  Still others have been added to our fold.  The "melting pot" of Panther Baseball.  Either with us from the age of 7.....or just joining us this season....we all know who and where we are.  And what we mean to each other.  We won the game.  For sure.

I could write about our record.  I could tell you all the accolades.  I could even fill this page with sadness.  But as I enter the gates of Panther Field tomorrow night for Senior night.  The very field where my Sam longed to play since he was a little boy.  I will remember the journey.  Not the destination.  For the journey was one of the greatest blessings our family has ever known.

I'll leave the post with a few of my favorite memories...

As these boys begin anew going separate directions....I know that our families will forever be connected from this little game.  

Colossians 3:12-14 Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony.

For the love of the game,

Terri

SENIOR NIGHT LIGHTS

There's nothing quite like a small southern town..

When family and friends all gather around.

Shouting and cheering and clapping their hands --

Hot dogs, and popcorn, and pure joy fill the stands.

Tonight we as Panthers.... will walk in side by side.

We were Cubs, and Bobcats, and All-Stars abide.

A brother on my left and one on my right.

You bet I'll protect him with my heart, soul, and might.

We learned as young boys how to catch and to hit.

It’s all a part of the game, you see……that Panther Baseball grit.

We are “Linked by our Chains”…..which are hung by the dugout door…

A reminder to us that … (T)ogether (E)veryone (A)chieves (M)ore!

Because of this game, our hearts know true love…

For Our brothers, our Coaches, and our Heavenly Father above.

They have led us and taught us, turned us boys into men.

We are playing tonight, knowing what is REALLY a "win."

Our last night as Seniors, but forever Panthers stand tall....

And because our “ATTITUDE IS EVERYTHING”….we know we won’t fall.

We hope they'll never forget our Senior Team,

Our legacy, our faith - We're the "Class of '15!”

Panthers forever...even when the last pitch is thrown.

It's a memory, a blessing, a feeling we all know.

So tonight as we walk out of the Panther Den to fight….

Never EVER forget, boys....these "Senior Night Lights."

                                                                                                       - t. baker