Well, its coming up on midnight of "Father's Day" and our first full day in Panama City Beach is officially in the books. I'm sitting here alone on the balcony of our 20th floor condo, nice breeze, hearing the waves crashing, a half-moon lighting up the shoreline. Peace.
I couldn't wait to blog today. I find myself wanting to take a Polaroid of every moment so I don't forget even a single memory. I am so incredibly happy and my heart is simply full.
We arrived at PCB yesterday afternoon after a fun-filled 12 hour drive. Ok, for me...it was a 12-hour ride. David drove. I napped. :) The kiddos were so excited. Sydney's best friend Chloe has joined us this week and much of their trip consisted of taking self-potraits, more appropriately called "selfies", complete with puckered lips. I learned that selfies over the age of about 20 are NOT cool. And I learned that I AM pretty cool to most folks other than my own children. Which means I embarrass them often. (Score! hehehe).
I love my kids. Much of our laughter is at the expense of my sweet Sammy. God love him.....the poor child sometimes wakes up in a new world every 10 minutes. His "Sam-isms" keep us rolling. Off the cuff, its hard to come up with something that isn't a "ya just had to be there" but for instance....."I think we are going the right way....I remember those trees." Trees? That is your landmark?? lol Ok.
Anyway, we got to the condo, checked in, and headed down to the beach in enough time to spend a couple of hours before dark. The water was perfect. The beach was beautiful. The weather felt great. Kids were smiling. Sam met a buddy to skim board with, the girls were swimming and snapping pics.....all was well with my soul!
Poor Jay and Leah and the kids met several delays, traffic jams, and general bad luck. Poor guys....Mobile is so unpredictable. We decided to go on in to buy groceries. By-passing Wal-mart, we headed on to Publix....called "Pubix" by my silly family, always with a giggle.....to buy groceries. We paid twice the price for half the wait. But oh well....we now had groceries for 9 peeps and a menu for the week. Got it all back and put away and headed to the balcony. That moment when you realize....all the hard work is behind ya and its just relaxation for the next 7 days.
We all settled in to watch a movie and wait on the rest to arrive. The kids put in "Pitch Perfect" and by the first time we saw "Fat Amy," I was the only one awake. I waited up to welcome my brother and his family. They finally arrived and we visited for a bit before heading to sleep.
Woke up this morning, a little too late to watch the dolphins, but woke up to lots of smiles and excitement. Jay and the kids have never been to the beach. He and his family haven't taken a vacation in 5 years. I have been hoping these last few months of planning that they would just love it like we do. Some folks are not "beach people"......and I have been praying that the kiddos love it. We sent Sam and my nephew, Jacob down to "claim our spot" on the beach.....and like true Arkansans, giving them instructions from the 20th floor balcony. :) Of course, ya can't leave the state EVER without leaving a "Woo Pig Soooie" here and there.
We all got ready and headed down. Didn't take long for the kids to absolutely love it. The laughs, the squeals, the smiles. I looked at Leah at one point, and said "That is what its all about right there." :) Jacob and Hannah were total water bugs, playing in the waves, searching for shells, and showing us each and every find. Sydney and Chloe were building a sand castles, writing "Father's Day" messages in the sand to send to their dad back home, and taking pics, David and Jay were out too far in the ocean, Leah and I were perched in our chairs right at the water's edge with sand everywhere you shouldn't have sand! haha Sammy was skim boarding and playing in the ocean. Just another day in paradise......
I'm a picture taker. Driving the kids crazy with snapshots of every moment. Im posting from the Ipad this week, and its difficult to format pics like I like, but will plan for a picture journal of our memories when I get home next week. In the meantime, I'm driving my Facebook and Instagram followers crazy with pic after pic. To me, they are more than that "Kodak moment" and are that "polaroid" of every moment of the day. Funny, with this day of digital cameras and iphones, one of the kids asked what kodak meant? They have never seen film! haha I love these people. <3
This afternoon, Syd and Chloe could be found poolside "tanning" and allowed me to join them. I began a new book that I'd been saving for my "beach read" entitled "Assaulted by Joy -- The Redemption of a Cynic" that was loaned to me by my sweet Aaron. I forgot my glasses down by the water, so I only got a few pages into it. Even so, I can tell by the first 20 pages that its going to be written about me. Can't wait to dive in further. It's already triggering some convictions. Another post. Another day.
This evening, we took the "dads" out for a Father's Day supper. Went to a little local place called the "Wicked Wheel".....it was totally worth the 45 minute wait and yummo! While waiting, Leah and I visited and did a little more people watching. Not long after we sat on the patio, a big large family walked up. Like us, they were snapping pictures, and enjoying each other. They took one that was obviously a few generations of "dads".....Granddaddy seated, with the others flocked around him. I envy those close families that take vacations together and make it a priority. And secretly looked around at the 9 of us and hoped this becomes a tradition.
As we left, the silliness began. My brother is one of the funniest guys I know. We did our own version of the "chinese fire drill".....Jumped out in the middle of the intersection and danced in front of our headlights. Nope, not an ounce of alcohol consumed....just an extreme desire to be totally uncool and embarrass the teens in our group. Complete mortification. Score! :) We laughed and laughed and laughed some more. We took our comedy act and made a stop at Walmart.....braving the lines 20 deep to grab a couple of forgotten items. God's favor placed us by the fishing poles (i.e. Sporting Goods) and the little guy at the counter checked us out back there. As we exited....we giggled at those still waiting....SUCKERS! hehe. Jay loudly asked me if I remembered my hemorrhoid cream.....lol. I retaliated and told him I was carrying his sack with the "RID" in it for the crabs he caught that day. We were total dorks and having the best time. More dancing ensued to the cars as we began our quest for ice cream.
Introduced David and Chloe to Dippin Dots for the first time. Not sure what rock they've been hiding under.....but we had a ball messing with the kids. Jay tried hard to get Sambo to let him "introduce" him to every cutie pie that walked in. And threatened the same to the girls as they urged him to do that to Sam. Lots of laughs and more stories. Complete silliness. Random idiocracy at its very best folks! :)
Headed back to the condo, and the girls began manis and pedis, the rest of us retreated to the balcony to relax before bedtime. I am still here writing about the day. Like Aerosmith sings...."I don't wanna miss a thang....." Jay and I have had some wonderful quiet time today. David and I have had some sweet visits. Other than Syd's smarty pants attitude creeping in every now and again, the day has been totally perfect. Poor thing, she is just like me! I shared with Jay tonight, that in all honesty, on paper we really couldn't afford this vacation. But you can't put a price on this togetherness. Yes, the beach is beautiful. And its awesome here. But the family time is priceless.
I sometimes get a feeling deep down in my gut, that my earthly time is limited. I guess that is normal for anyone after facing a tragedy or journey such as cancer. It isn't fear....I'm at peace with it....but I want to do everything within my power to give my children these memories, and to keep my family close. Jay said tonight, that mom would love this. After talking to my dad today, I wish he were with us. We know that if mom were alive, he would be. There is not a doubt in my mind that she is smiling in heaven tonight, rejoicing with our Heavenly "Father" on this Father's Day. Her heart is full as she is looking down at her kids acting like fools, and the cousins bonding together. A year ago, I was starting my journey with chemo, not really sure if I'd see another vacation like this. So we found a way. As a Pastor, Jay and Leah haven't been able to take a vacation in several years. We realize the level of blessing this is. And are soaking up every single minute.
Jay has now joined me on the balcony....so I believe I will log out and visit. Hope he knows how much I love him. I intend to let him know!! <3
Thank HIM for it all tonight......I am completely blessed much more than I deserve.
Terri
Sunday, June 16, 2013
Tuesday, June 11, 2013
Praise!
I hate getting old. Well...of course, the alternative is worse. But I feel like I've been beat up. What a weekend!!!!
My friend Gina is now starting her life in wedded bliss.....<3 The Lord provided the best weather and beautiful nature. Friends and family were plenty. I am hopeful that it was everything they dreamed of.....and more.
David and I arrived Friday around noonish and with the gang, we began the setup. Hours later....tulle was flowing in the wind, canopy was up using the beautiful spring river as a backdrop, and the stage was set. Bride was "medicatedly calm" (Gotta love Benedryl!) and as always, laughs were going strong.
I hadn't felt good all week......best I can tell, it was a good old summer cold. But charged forward. Wild horses couldn't have kept me away from standing near my friend that Saturday. :) Although, it did make me grumpy and a brat. :( On top of the insecurity I feel of being fat, white, and of course....the whole "hair" thing...., and my exhaustion from the day, AND the cold, I snapped at a precious young girl. She came up behind me and asked me if I was the "mother of the bride". Of course I melted down immediately. Everyone snickered and it sent me into an emotional tailspin. That poor girl. Yes, I had a friend explain to her. And yes, I apologized and enjoyed her company the rest of the weekend. I don't know what got into me.....ugggggg.....not one of my favorite moments.
Aside from Gina's wedding shoes walking away without feet in them, causing a slight delay in start time (I ripped mine off and put them on her so no...she wasn't barefoot!), the wedding was beautiful and unique. Filled with humor and celebration and love. I was so happy to be a part of it.
After the cake was cut, the pics were taken, and the comfy clothes were on, we took a short float down the river. Fun fun times were had!!! <3 I could write for days on the events of the weekend. But in short here are a few highlights! Things I learned and/or were reminded:
* I am NOT a wedding planner/decorator. lol Thank the Good Lord for my sweet friend Dana, and Pinterest! And for Sonya, professional bow-maker and Shane for her willingness for the whole "trial and error" of the day! A few sweet fellas were there to help too! :) And Maria, for keeping the bride calm. Was a group effort for sure!
* Do not let crazies jump off of a tree into 3 feet of water. If you have to...Ask them to "check their driver's license to remind them how old they are!" ..... At least BEFORE the wedding. If they want to kill themselves after, perfectly ok. :)
* I was reminded how to raise up my butt when goin over the rocks. :) My abs are stronger today for sure!
* There are times when I'm definitely a fish out of water. There is a little piece of nature on the Spring called "Deadman's Curve" that is named appropriately. If you are gonna end up out of your canoe, raft, tube, whatever anywhere.....this is the spot. Yes, its swift, rocky, narrow, and hard to manage. However......the "scenery" there can make ya lose your focus. I'm certain that is the reason for MANY "almost drowings"! haha A DJ, stripper pole, lots of "adult beverages" consumed there....and a people watcher's paradise. There is a "mardi gras" type theme with beads. Not a great place for a woman who has had a mastectomy! lol I was given an honorary strand.....I most certainly earned them. NOT a place for kids. Ever. Under any circumstances. Bypass Deadman's curve.
* Dogs are smarter than humans. "Saddler" (named after Saddler Falls) is probably the best-trained, smartest yellow labs I've ever seen. Ya just had to be there. He could dive down and retrieve a rock that I'm sure looked like every other rock when thrown as far as a man could throw one. He could shake and shower anyone on command at whomever told to. He could bark, be shushed. I'm not doing this justice..... It was amazing.
* Beauty is NOT only skin deep. I saw beautiful people who were so incredibly ugly. And learned that what is INSIDE a person can make them simply exquisite. If only the rest of the world felt that way.....That is for another blog post. For another time.
* I miss camping. I would love to go back another time....simply to "vacay and relax". I was so exhausted from the "wedding setup and takedown"....that I didn't take a minute to simply enjoy God's splendor. I've been worrying and fretting for weeks and it turned out pretty ok! :) I'm so very happy for my friend who is now making this her new home.
* You cannot always bank on first impressions. I grew to really enjoy the company of several this weekend that I was skeptical on the front end. I'm learning to really dig deep and get to know people. And in doing so, I was blessed. On the flip side....I'm grateful that others gave ME the same courtesy! :) I met some fun new friends in the process!
* We are more than a group of friends. We don't allow anyone to hurt each other. We may not always be appropriate in the showing of our love.....but it is known and understood without a doubt, that we have a true and genuine love and we are a family. In doing so, we respect the wishes of each other. We forgive. We stick together. And we protect. You might find yourself on probation! :) But if you come to realize and understand the nature and dynamic of this circle.....it is one you will never want to leave. Nothing makes me more happy, than to hear my dearest friends tell me how precious David is. Yes, he is a wonderful man. But I believe they truly accepted him when they saw how well he treated me. (AND of course when he rescued Gina in the snow! hehe) How he has never left my side. Even with some of the unexpected "crises" I've dealt him! :) And even further....David loves and respects my friends. He would do anything for them.....just as he would for me. I pray that everyone find a love like I have. One I honestly don't deserve.
* I need to lose weight. Pictures really do say a thousand words. And for me....a thousand pounds. So.....I'm gonna be totally selfish here and only post one.......which is my favorite. I cannot tell you how much I love these people!!!!! <3
Aren't they all so beautiful?????? Inside.....AND out.
After David and I dismantled the "wedding stuff", we headed to my brother's house in Newport. Stayed up way too late laughing and sharing old stories. Planning our upcoming vacation, which apparently is to do a whole lot of porch sitting, beach laying and eating! :) Cannot wait to make these memories!!!!
Jay's sermon Sunday morning, and Leah's leading of the worship time in song....touched me like never before. My sister-in-law led a song that I've never heard before. I've wished I had recorded her version of it....so many times since yesterday morning. But I was so lost in prayer and worship, that I didn't think of it.
It's entitled "I never lost my praise".......and even if I have to say, her version is better than any I've heard. The words are so meaningful and so true! Please take a listen:
My friend Gina is now starting her life in wedded bliss.....<3 The Lord provided the best weather and beautiful nature. Friends and family were plenty. I am hopeful that it was everything they dreamed of.....and more.
David and I arrived Friday around noonish and with the gang, we began the setup. Hours later....tulle was flowing in the wind, canopy was up using the beautiful spring river as a backdrop, and the stage was set. Bride was "medicatedly calm" (Gotta love Benedryl!) and as always, laughs were going strong.
I hadn't felt good all week......best I can tell, it was a good old summer cold. But charged forward. Wild horses couldn't have kept me away from standing near my friend that Saturday. :) Although, it did make me grumpy and a brat. :( On top of the insecurity I feel of being fat, white, and of course....the whole "hair" thing...., and my exhaustion from the day, AND the cold, I snapped at a precious young girl. She came up behind me and asked me if I was the "mother of the bride". Of course I melted down immediately. Everyone snickered and it sent me into an emotional tailspin. That poor girl. Yes, I had a friend explain to her. And yes, I apologized and enjoyed her company the rest of the weekend. I don't know what got into me.....ugggggg.....not one of my favorite moments.
Aside from Gina's wedding shoes walking away without feet in them, causing a slight delay in start time (I ripped mine off and put them on her so no...she wasn't barefoot!), the wedding was beautiful and unique. Filled with humor and celebration and love. I was so happy to be a part of it.
After the cake was cut, the pics were taken, and the comfy clothes were on, we took a short float down the river. Fun fun times were had!!! <3 I could write for days on the events of the weekend. But in short here are a few highlights! Things I learned and/or were reminded:
* I am NOT a wedding planner/decorator. lol Thank the Good Lord for my sweet friend Dana, and Pinterest! And for Sonya, professional bow-maker and Shane for her willingness for the whole "trial and error" of the day! A few sweet fellas were there to help too! :) And Maria, for keeping the bride calm. Was a group effort for sure!
* Do not let crazies jump off of a tree into 3 feet of water. If you have to...Ask them to "check their driver's license to remind them how old they are!" ..... At least BEFORE the wedding. If they want to kill themselves after, perfectly ok. :)
* I was reminded how to raise up my butt when goin over the rocks. :) My abs are stronger today for sure!
* There are times when I'm definitely a fish out of water. There is a little piece of nature on the Spring called "Deadman's Curve" that is named appropriately. If you are gonna end up out of your canoe, raft, tube, whatever anywhere.....this is the spot. Yes, its swift, rocky, narrow, and hard to manage. However......the "scenery" there can make ya lose your focus. I'm certain that is the reason for MANY "almost drowings"! haha A DJ, stripper pole, lots of "adult beverages" consumed there....and a people watcher's paradise. There is a "mardi gras" type theme with beads. Not a great place for a woman who has had a mastectomy! lol I was given an honorary strand.....I most certainly earned them. NOT a place for kids. Ever. Under any circumstances. Bypass Deadman's curve.
* Dogs are smarter than humans. "Saddler" (named after Saddler Falls) is probably the best-trained, smartest yellow labs I've ever seen. Ya just had to be there. He could dive down and retrieve a rock that I'm sure looked like every other rock when thrown as far as a man could throw one. He could shake and shower anyone on command at whomever told to. He could bark, be shushed. I'm not doing this justice..... It was amazing.
* Beauty is NOT only skin deep. I saw beautiful people who were so incredibly ugly. And learned that what is INSIDE a person can make them simply exquisite. If only the rest of the world felt that way.....That is for another blog post. For another time.
* I miss camping. I would love to go back another time....simply to "vacay and relax". I was so exhausted from the "wedding setup and takedown"....that I didn't take a minute to simply enjoy God's splendor. I've been worrying and fretting for weeks and it turned out pretty ok! :) I'm so very happy for my friend who is now making this her new home.
* You cannot always bank on first impressions. I grew to really enjoy the company of several this weekend that I was skeptical on the front end. I'm learning to really dig deep and get to know people. And in doing so, I was blessed. On the flip side....I'm grateful that others gave ME the same courtesy! :) I met some fun new friends in the process!
* We are more than a group of friends. We don't allow anyone to hurt each other. We may not always be appropriate in the showing of our love.....but it is known and understood without a doubt, that we have a true and genuine love and we are a family. In doing so, we respect the wishes of each other. We forgive. We stick together. And we protect. You might find yourself on probation! :) But if you come to realize and understand the nature and dynamic of this circle.....it is one you will never want to leave. Nothing makes me more happy, than to hear my dearest friends tell me how precious David is. Yes, he is a wonderful man. But I believe they truly accepted him when they saw how well he treated me. (AND of course when he rescued Gina in the snow! hehe) How he has never left my side. Even with some of the unexpected "crises" I've dealt him! :) And even further....David loves and respects my friends. He would do anything for them.....just as he would for me. I pray that everyone find a love like I have. One I honestly don't deserve.
* I need to lose weight. Pictures really do say a thousand words. And for me....a thousand pounds. So.....I'm gonna be totally selfish here and only post one.......which is my favorite. I cannot tell you how much I love these people!!!!! <3
Aren't they all so beautiful?????? Inside.....AND out.
After David and I dismantled the "wedding stuff", we headed to my brother's house in Newport. Stayed up way too late laughing and sharing old stories. Planning our upcoming vacation, which apparently is to do a whole lot of porch sitting, beach laying and eating! :) Cannot wait to make these memories!!!!
Jay's sermon Sunday morning, and Leah's leading of the worship time in song....touched me like never before. My sister-in-law led a song that I've never heard before. I've wished I had recorded her version of it....so many times since yesterday morning. But I was so lost in prayer and worship, that I didn't think of it.
It's entitled "I never lost my praise".......and even if I have to say, her version is better than any I've heard. The words are so meaningful and so true! Please take a listen:
Got me to thinking about my life. How I've handled crises. I'm not so proud of myself at times. I've not always "praised" Him anyway. But in those hard times when I did.....the path was much smoother.
It got me to thinking about myself as a mother. Am I guiding my children to be lovers of Jesus and servants of Christ?
How am I as a life partner? Do I let the "words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart" be acceptable to Him? Am I respectful to David? Am I a Godly example?
How am I in friendships? Do I surround myself with Christian believers and always have my actions reflect that of Godly behavior? Do I truly give all of myself to the needs and desires of others??
As a sister, daughter, cousin.....am I more concerned with being "needed" and standing through any storm no matter what.....than by advising what the Word says?
Boy have I got a ton of work to do. I guess God answered my prayers all these months in letting me stay a while longer, because he KNEW I wasn't ready for His Kingdom. I've got some more things to work on. It is tough being a Christian sometimes. It is tough taking the road less traveled. Walking along the path that others sometimes don't choose.
I have a smart mouth and a bad attitude at times. Sometimes, I'm just a brat. That is not a Godly example at all. I strive to be a tither. I mean, I place something in the offering. When I'm there. But I want to truly give ABOVE the 10%. The Bible tells me that 10% is already His and any above that is my "offering". And to an accountant, that is hard. If the money is not there, how can I give? 10+% of a little....isn't much. But when there is little to begin with?????
What I'm learning in my quiet time and in digging into the word.....and this week through Jay's sermon, is that if my true focus is on what God wants for me.....again, what GOD wants for me.....then He will take care of the rest. For this ole control freak, that's hard. God has been revealing to me those in my life who nurture my relationship with Him. Those who connect with me on a spiritual level. Who speak to me in love and encouragement.....not in judgment. Who will love me regardless.....but will not let Satan use them as a vessel to steer me wrong. As I'm afraid I've done in the past.
I have learned to designate prayer time each day....not to give Him my worries. But to just praise Him. It warmed my heart so much Sunday morning.....to have my David beside me....holding my hand in his, with his other raised in worship. I glanced at him and a tear trickled down his face. Finally....I have a man in my life.....my best friend....who "gets it."! <3 I love watching the videos posted of the kiddos on Choir Tour -- who are leading worship across the nation.....and it shows on their faces....the PRAISE. It shows with their hands high in the air....and their eyes full of wonder. I simply love it.
I can't wait to get away next week....with my family. Get close to them and to God in all of His splendor and beauty. I plan to blog away!!! :) Its funny, when you put your life out there in a public forum such as I do with this blog.....Satan uses people to constantly find fault with every move I make. I guess its one of the "down sides" to letting people in on your life. I almost get tickled at those who "hang on every word" but then use those words against me. Small town America....unfortunately, I hear everything that is said. What's funny is.....for every bad apple.....there are 10 times those who have gone out of their way to let me know that my blog inspires them. That they can relate to my words as a fellow friend, mom, sister, daughter, Christian, and even Survivor. I hear from people all over. Some know me on a day to day basis. Others only through here. I told myself I would stop using this space to defend it. But every once in a while....I just have to say....Satan! Get back Jack! You are not welcome here. Satan....if you don't like what I say. Don't read it. If you are forced to judge what I say? Then contact me because you must be perfect and possibly I could learn something! If you think I'm trying to be something I'm not? Then read EVERY word.....because I don't know many that would trade places with me on much of my life. I am a hypocrite. I am a sinner. I fall short. And I place it here for all to read. Gossip is ugly.....if you can't tell something from a place of truth and non-judgment, then ya probably outta not say it. Momma used to say...."if ya can't say something nice........" :)
I don't wanna get a thousand texts asking me "who is being mean".....blah blah blah. Nobody. It also kinda tickles me at usually those who text first are usually the ones who are guilty! :) I am working to live my life for Christ. I am in love with a man that I hope to marry someday. Yes, he lives under my roof. (Well....he does when he is not working out of town averaging MAYBE 6-8 days a month). Didn't make a lot of sense to keep two places, when he was needed here. And as I've discussed with more than one clergy, God knows my heart.....and there is no doubt that David was hand-picked by God to be a part of my life and of that of my children. We have very frank conversations about that with the kids and yes, I'm very convicted of the very hypocritical nature of that. There are very private reasons why I am not married to him, yet.....of which I am choosing not to disclose now. And I have that right. Many speculate many things. I'll tell my reasons. Someday.
When I became sick, the kids and I would not have made it without his love and care and devotion to our family.....at times, at the sacrifice of his own. Those who love me.....focus on THAT fact. I am a single mother with a large village. I have single momma worries. Single momma fears. Single momma issues. And Single momma blessings. Throw a little thing called "cancer" in there and all that that entails on the side.....and then talk to ME about issues. Yep, I shouldn't be spending the money I really don't have to take a vacation. So I'm really not. Thanks to DAVID, we are able to enjoy this. And Praise GOD he is in my life. When you face your mortality square in the eye.....you have to soak up every second. Every. Single. Opportunity. Last summer we where forced into surgery and chemo and worries like never before. So yes, I'm taking advantage of the gifts and blessings given to us....and taking my kids to make a few memories. Judge me. I no longer care. The glory goes to nobody but God.
For one small week.....for exactly seven days......I'm excited to see my brother's children see the ocean for the first time. To bond with Leah and have some heart-to-heart girl talks with my brother's love. I'm excited for the nightly devotions we have planned. And to reminisce the same old childhood stories with my baby brother. And even create some new ones to talk about! I'm excited to turn off my phone and spend some quality time with my children and take lots and lots of pictures. Time is precious. And we are not promised any certain amount of it. You get the jist. All my problems and worries will be here when I get back. No harm in taking a week out.
You see? I am all of those horrible things I mentioned above. Satan DOES try to use me as a vessel at times. But through my salvation, I'm promised grace and forgiveness. And if I don't extend the same to others, I can not receive it. I am seeking to right my wrongs. To live in fullness with God. I'm on the road my friends. Takin care of business.....
"I never lost my hope. I never lost my joy. I never lost my faith. But most of all....I never lost my Praise. " For that, I'm not lucky. I'm blessed.
In Him,
Terri
Thursday, June 6, 2013
My Gina.....
My post tonight is about my friend. My friend Gina. She doesn't read my blogs, but don't think I'm talking about her behind her back.....maybe I'll make her read this one! :)
Gina is getting married Saturday to her "Elementary School" Crush. Now how incredibly NEAT is that?? Gives some truth to the old adage.....that "if ya love something let it go....if its meant to be, it will always come back"....(or something profound like that! haha) I think this is a relationship that had some Godly fingerprints on it......And things were done in HIS timing.
I met Gina a few years ago through a mutual friend. Let me tell you a little about her. They broke the mold for sure. She is a sweet spirit beneath a rough exterior. She shows her love oftentimes through the "tough love" option. She is the "mother hen" of our little circle of friends. She is never fake. AND you always know exactly where you stand. Even if she's mad at ya. :)
Gina has a deep heart. And when her friends are hurting. She hurts. She stood by me through the breakdown of my marriage and through my finding love again. Her advice is usually spot-on and I never worry that she has nothing but the best intentions for those around her. Honestly, I'm pretty scared of Gina. :) Not really, but as my momma used to say, "She will tell ya how the cow ate the cabbage!" That's what I love the most. She is real. Always.
She is so dang funny. Together, we all have shared so many laughs the last few years. Her one-liners could be a comedy show.....and her stories (especially the ones about her grandma) could make her a best-selling author. Even when crises seems to attack -- she puts hilarious spin on things like no one else. Her sarcasm and banter are so unique.
As a mother, she gave birth to a rocket scientist.....literally. Daegan works for NASA! She sacrificed so much for his education and to guide him to be a successful young man. The hardest thing for a mother is to "cut those apron strings".....and God placed Lynn back in her life at just the perfect time to ease the burden and love her. See how God works??? :)
As a nurse, she has a compassion deep inside like few I've met. She has been with us all through heartbreak. Through joy. Through illness. Through fun times. Through horrible times. Like a "friendship marriage".....We all have survived it all. Its finally....HER time. Her day. Her new beginning. She fell in love with this man (ok....so maybe it was a crush....but on the playground, same thing....right?? :)) all those years ago, and now God's timing has brought them back to one another to build their ending together.
I am very honored to be a part of her wedding. To stand beside her, and the best of friends, as she professes to love this man in front of God and all of her friends. And as he takes her hand to love and protect forever. I love Gina, and my heart is so incredibly full as I watch this circle of life become complete. She is so deserving of not only a beautiful wedding day.....but more importantly, a beautiful marriage. I'm also grateful to know that once she relocates to begin her life together....that no amount of miles will damage the friendship that we all share. Poor Lynn.....he gets such the package deal! :)
Of course, I'm not the perfect person to give marital advice, so I'm not going to try. But as her Sister in Christ.....I would love to say this to you, Gina.....
I love you. I am so happy for you and Lynn, that you patiently waited for God to reveal your "missing piece". I have included you in my prayers for many days and will pray for you and your new marriage in the days to come. Place God in the center of your marriage and in front of every issue. Don't go to bed angry. Ever. Don't worry about money or finances......because what is most important....money cannot buy. So do not let it consume you. Kiss him goodnight. Every night. Hug him often....and hang on for a minute. Pray for him. And trust that he too, is praying for you. Let your worries about the "big day" go....and enjoy it. He fell in love with you for you.....and no matter what Saturday brings....you will be a beautiful bride and it will be a ceremony you will never forget. As Proverbs 31:25 tells us "She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future." That is the epitome of you and your wedding. It will all come together and you are marrying the man of your dreams in front of those who love you most.....and with the blessings of many that simply have to be there in spirit. Enjoy every second. Soak up every thought and every feeling. I am so proud to call you one of my best friends and thank God for placing you, Gina....in my life. I pray that God places a hedge of protection over your marriage and that He bring to you and Lynn many happy years together. I leave you with 1 Corinthians 13 -- which is what God tells us about love.....and I'm so very happy that you and Lynn have found it....And our friendship knows this love also! <3
Gina is getting married Saturday to her "Elementary School" Crush. Now how incredibly NEAT is that?? Gives some truth to the old adage.....that "if ya love something let it go....if its meant to be, it will always come back"....(or something profound like that! haha) I think this is a relationship that had some Godly fingerprints on it......And things were done in HIS timing.
I met Gina a few years ago through a mutual friend. Let me tell you a little about her. They broke the mold for sure. She is a sweet spirit beneath a rough exterior. She shows her love oftentimes through the "tough love" option. She is the "mother hen" of our little circle of friends. She is never fake. AND you always know exactly where you stand. Even if she's mad at ya. :)
Gina has a deep heart. And when her friends are hurting. She hurts. She stood by me through the breakdown of my marriage and through my finding love again. Her advice is usually spot-on and I never worry that she has nothing but the best intentions for those around her. Honestly, I'm pretty scared of Gina. :) Not really, but as my momma used to say, "She will tell ya how the cow ate the cabbage!" That's what I love the most. She is real. Always.
She is so dang funny. Together, we all have shared so many laughs the last few years. Her one-liners could be a comedy show.....and her stories (especially the ones about her grandma) could make her a best-selling author. Even when crises seems to attack -- she puts hilarious spin on things like no one else. Her sarcasm and banter are so unique.
As a mother, she gave birth to a rocket scientist.....literally. Daegan works for NASA! She sacrificed so much for his education and to guide him to be a successful young man. The hardest thing for a mother is to "cut those apron strings".....and God placed Lynn back in her life at just the perfect time to ease the burden and love her. See how God works??? :)
As a nurse, she has a compassion deep inside like few I've met. She has been with us all through heartbreak. Through joy. Through illness. Through fun times. Through horrible times. Like a "friendship marriage".....We all have survived it all. Its finally....HER time. Her day. Her new beginning. She fell in love with this man (ok....so maybe it was a crush....but on the playground, same thing....right?? :)) all those years ago, and now God's timing has brought them back to one another to build their ending together.
I am very honored to be a part of her wedding. To stand beside her, and the best of friends, as she professes to love this man in front of God and all of her friends. And as he takes her hand to love and protect forever. I love Gina, and my heart is so incredibly full as I watch this circle of life become complete. She is so deserving of not only a beautiful wedding day.....but more importantly, a beautiful marriage. I'm also grateful to know that once she relocates to begin her life together....that no amount of miles will damage the friendship that we all share. Poor Lynn.....he gets such the package deal! :)
Of course, I'm not the perfect person to give marital advice, so I'm not going to try. But as her Sister in Christ.....I would love to say this to you, Gina.....
I love you. I am so happy for you and Lynn, that you patiently waited for God to reveal your "missing piece". I have included you in my prayers for many days and will pray for you and your new marriage in the days to come. Place God in the center of your marriage and in front of every issue. Don't go to bed angry. Ever. Don't worry about money or finances......because what is most important....money cannot buy. So do not let it consume you. Kiss him goodnight. Every night. Hug him often....and hang on for a minute. Pray for him. And trust that he too, is praying for you. Let your worries about the "big day" go....and enjoy it. He fell in love with you for you.....and no matter what Saturday brings....you will be a beautiful bride and it will be a ceremony you will never forget. As Proverbs 31:25 tells us "She is clothed in strength and dignity and laughs without fear of the future." That is the epitome of you and your wedding. It will all come together and you are marrying the man of your dreams in front of those who love you most.....and with the blessings of many that simply have to be there in spirit. Enjoy every second. Soak up every thought and every feeling. I am so proud to call you one of my best friends and thank God for placing you, Gina....in my life. I pray that God places a hedge of protection over your marriage and that He bring to you and Lynn many happy years together. I leave you with 1 Corinthians 13 -- which is what God tells us about love.....and I'm so very happy that you and Lynn have found it....And our friendship knows this love also! <3
| 1 Corinthians 13 |
1If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.
I love you Gina Beana!!!!!! <3
In Him,
Terri
Wednesday, May 29, 2013
20 things I'm not SUPPOSED to say.....
What I LOVE about facebook....are the real original statuses.... and pics. That's it. Of course, I've been known to share the occasional "quote", bible verse, and even a link every now and again if its either hilarious or informational. Other than that? Its my pure randomness and pretty much what is on my mind at any given moment. Its real!
Lately, my news feed has been taken hostage by recipes (OH LORD! the recipes), and the "pretty pictures with the quote" across it. Yes, I love them.....the first, and maybe the second time I see them. But after the 5th or 6th share....I'm bored. Then you have the "smarty-pants" quotes that either the whole world KNOWS who they are directed at.....or even better they don't, and its a mystery. Oh the games! lol I love ORIGINAL posts and pics of my friends and their kiddos' and their lives. That's just me. Not passing judgment on those who enjoy sharing them....but for me? I enjoy originality. Much more.
Does it bug me? not really. Do I read them? Most every single one. Do I laugh? yep. I just like words from the heart and mind of each friend. And love those who truly share their lives. So please don't misunderstand and think I'm on a soapbox. Because, I'm not. Just said all this to lead into tonight's post.....
The quotes that catch my eye the most are those about being a "mom"......what a blessing it is, how its my greatest accomplishment, God's greatest gifts, etc. etc. And of course, any person who knows me AT ALL....even a smidgen, knows that my life IS my children. And yes I agree with all of the cheesy quotes. But on the flip side.....my children ARE my life. You're not supposed to list what drives ya crazy!!! But guess what....I'm gonna vent. Gonna warn ANY mother out there who has "teens" in their future.....THIS, is what ya have to look forward to! (Go ahead and judge me....this is "in fun" and totally real.....and mine know I love them MORE than life. So challenge me....I don't care! ha)
Here we go for a laundry list of sorts......
1) I am tired. Bonafide exhaustion folks. I remember the sleep deprivation from having infants and toddlers.....was only a few years ago that I had "2 under the age of 2"......and thinking...."I just want a nap!" Well, it doesn't get better..... in fact, bedtimes are later, radios are louder, friends are in and out the door, and when they start to drive???? You are wide awake LONG after they come home.
2) Prepare to have zero privacy. I've got a kid attached to my hip every second that we are together. The "spelling" of certain things they don't need to hear is no longer a luxury. Nor are code words. Its a free for all......so watch your words. And also watch your actions. Like toddlers, they still notice everything.
3) I have become very stupid. Just ask my kiddos. And I'm told this often by the "Ugggggggg!!!!!" and the growl. And the stomp off. My darling Sydney Clare has this mastered.
4) If you have at least one daughter.....your clothes are no longer yours. Neither is your jewelry. Or your shoes. Or your makeup. Hair brushes. Shampoo. Perfume. Nothing. In fact, sometimes your things disappear into thin air....If you are lucky, you might occasionally see it on facebook or instagram. Be it on your child or one of their friends. But, know when you purchase ANY item of clothing or accessory....its fair game. You can TRY to lay down the rule that "I get to wear it first".....but be sure to let me know how that works out for ya! :)
5) Boys smell. No amount of soap, deodorant, febreeze, scented candles.....NOTHING can mask that of a boy. Even worse. They don't KNOW they smell. Hygiene comes natural to us girls. We want to smell pretty. To this day? I've had to say "Have you brushed your teeth and put on deodorant?" Really. Its nasty. With boys, its a learned process. If I ever get car-jacked, I can throw Sam's football shoulder pads at them and it would be considered a lethal weapon.
6) If you have one child... you are a parent. If you have more than one? You become a referee. I have one child who is quiet as a mouse. The other? Sometimes I want to yank her voicebox out of her throat. She has one tone....loud. And there is a distinction in the "my brother is aggravating me" voice and any other kind.
7) You become an ATM. Your money will most likely never be yours again. Ever. And if you have ANY thought in your head that "once my child gets out of diapers" or "out of formula" or the biggie: "When they get out of daycare".....I'll get a raise!!!! Think again. In fact? That myth makes me laugh out loud! I could write an entire post about how expensive they are.......but I'll just highlight a couple.....
* If they come to ya for a "couple of bucks".....that is a minimum of $20. And they hear "make that last" as "make that last until the end of the day."
* Name brands will kill ya. Do you hear me? Kill ya. I guess it was that way for us when we were younger. But I have kiddos begging for very expensive, very UGLY items. Exhibit A: Chacos. Toms. (Yes, I have not only bought my kiddos both. I own both for myself. Which leads me to #8 shortly)
* Sports, Dance, etc. Cost a fortune.....Lessons, travel, equipment.....I mean. a. fortune.
8) You may find yourself migrating to the fashions of these creatures. Forgetting the fact that you are 20 years older and at LEAST 20 lbs heavier. Just sayin. Don't say you won't. Because you will. I own ugly Chacos and they are completely comfortable!!! :)
9) Cell phones. This could be a separate post as well! Why they call them a phone? I don't know. Because the thing done the LEAST on them is talk. Kids don't "talk" these days. I know most teens by the top of their head that is stuck in the phone. Ri-dang-diculous. We have a rule in my home that cell phones are placed in the center of the table at meal time. After the blessing, who ever (myself included) touches their phone first, does the dishes. (or picks up the check if dining out!)
* I have held a cell phone as ransom for the majority of punishments. Works better than ANYTHING. I have one that would much rather give me his set of keys than the cell phone.
* It doesn't make you a bad parent if you monitor their usage and read their messages. In fact, my personal opinion is that it might make you one if you DON'T. These are children with an unlimited connection to the outside world. They cannot be sheltered. Period. Read their stuff folks. Just like adults.....kids feel more comfy behind a keyboard. They are no different.
* Same premise with the internet. But really....in the age of smartphones.....there is no difference. Cell phones ARE the internet.
* And be CRAZY unreasonable with the phones when they start to drive. Its not hard to catch them. My Sam hung himself....."Mom, I'm comin by your office to grab a couple of bucks for a drink." "Sam, what happened to my change from last night?" "Hang on, I'm drivin....will look in a sec." "Sam, just leave the phone on the table......" Busted. This is life or death. So act like its "life or death."
10) Know all passwords. There is no such thing as "privacy" as far as my kiddos are concerned. I exercise my right and will continue to do so until they are no longer under my roof. As long as I am responsible for any "messes" they get into? Then I have access to all information. Which brings me to #11....
11) Get on Facebook. Get on Twitter. Get on Instagram. Get on Vine. Get on Keek. (Are ya impressed that I know all of these?? hehe) Know what your kids are not only posting and seeing. But know what their FRIENDS are posting and seeing. Yep. "Creepers" are some of the best parents! :)
12) Don't feel bad if you aren't one of "those" moms, who can give them the best of cars, the best of clothes, the best of everything. Mine have my time, Everthing they NEED, and MOST of what they want. That is sufficient for two happy teens. Ask mine. And never say...."Mine would never________." They will just to prove you wrong!
13) Teach them the value of a buck. My Sammy is learning that he can blow a week's paycheck on one tank of gas. (giggling inside) He appreciates ole mom a little more now. I will spend a whole week's paycheck for choir tour spending money. Syd looked at me and said...."Really mom?" Yep. Really.
Even further, its ok if they actually WORK around the house. Mow the lawn, laundry, clean dishes, vacuum the floor. They are perfectly capable of helping. Bottom line. We ALL get more quality time.
14) You are not a bad mom if you have periodic meltdowns and sometimes in public places. Case in point: Walking into Dillards last Sat. to swimsuit shop. I told Syd....sitting in the car before we walked in....."I am NOT buying you a suit from here." She is still growing, the styles change, etc etc. I not only refuse to spend $150++ on a suit for her, but can't. I however, needed one. "Yes mom"....I got with the rolling of the eyes. After seeing all the million ones that she wanted for no less than a million bucks each, trotting off to the dressing room with half a dozen only to realize I meant what I said.....the smart mouth and the tears took over. Drama. Drama. Drama. Yes, I created this monster. The result? Neither of us got a swimsuit. I couldn't afford it for myself either. But I put my foot down like a good little mommy! :) (Yep....it hurt. And I felt like a heel!)
15) Nothing is really "lost" until mom can't find it. Teens lose everything. They forget everything. And their carelessness is CONSTANTLY an emergency for you. Even thought you swear to them you won't....you will keep bailing them out. I've saved my kiddos from more zeros, demerits and laps around the field by providing the "lost and forgotten" items.
16) You can only help them with their homework until about the 5th grade. I have a college education and get stumped with most everything since. See? You really will get dumber.
17) You will NEVER measure up to "so-in-so's" mom. "So in So" is lucky. They get to drive earlier, stay out later, go shopping more often, and go on fancy vacays several times a year. Their clothes are fancier, their cars newer and nicer, and money is no object. They also "got a worse grade than I did".....and "got in trouble also!" So-in-so.....is not you. And I am not "So-in-so's" mom. Period.
18) We have NOTHING to eat at home. Translation: I don't want what is home and want Sonic. However...you are not a horrible mom if you have "Fend for yourselves" for supper often.....grilled cheese sandwiches ARE a hot meal and cereal is nutritional. These creatures are why your life is so busy. They won't go hungry.
Lately, my news feed has been taken hostage by recipes (OH LORD! the recipes), and the "pretty pictures with the quote" across it. Yes, I love them.....the first, and maybe the second time I see them. But after the 5th or 6th share....I'm bored. Then you have the "smarty-pants" quotes that either the whole world KNOWS who they are directed at.....or even better they don't, and its a mystery. Oh the games! lol I love ORIGINAL posts and pics of my friends and their kiddos' and their lives. That's just me. Not passing judgment on those who enjoy sharing them....but for me? I enjoy originality. Much more.
Does it bug me? not really. Do I read them? Most every single one. Do I laugh? yep. I just like words from the heart and mind of each friend. And love those who truly share their lives. So please don't misunderstand and think I'm on a soapbox. Because, I'm not. Just said all this to lead into tonight's post.....
The quotes that catch my eye the most are those about being a "mom"......what a blessing it is, how its my greatest accomplishment, God's greatest gifts, etc. etc. And of course, any person who knows me AT ALL....even a smidgen, knows that my life IS my children. And yes I agree with all of the cheesy quotes. But on the flip side.....my children ARE my life. You're not supposed to list what drives ya crazy!!! But guess what....I'm gonna vent. Gonna warn ANY mother out there who has "teens" in their future.....THIS, is what ya have to look forward to! (Go ahead and judge me....this is "in fun" and totally real.....and mine know I love them MORE than life. So challenge me....I don't care! ha)
Here we go for a laundry list of sorts......
1) I am tired. Bonafide exhaustion folks. I remember the sleep deprivation from having infants and toddlers.....was only a few years ago that I had "2 under the age of 2"......and thinking...."I just want a nap!" Well, it doesn't get better..... in fact, bedtimes are later, radios are louder, friends are in and out the door, and when they start to drive???? You are wide awake LONG after they come home.
2) Prepare to have zero privacy. I've got a kid attached to my hip every second that we are together. The "spelling" of certain things they don't need to hear is no longer a luxury. Nor are code words. Its a free for all......so watch your words. And also watch your actions. Like toddlers, they still notice everything.
3) I have become very stupid. Just ask my kiddos. And I'm told this often by the "Ugggggggg!!!!!" and the growl. And the stomp off. My darling Sydney Clare has this mastered.
4) If you have at least one daughter.....your clothes are no longer yours. Neither is your jewelry. Or your shoes. Or your makeup. Hair brushes. Shampoo. Perfume. Nothing. In fact, sometimes your things disappear into thin air....If you are lucky, you might occasionally see it on facebook or instagram. Be it on your child or one of their friends. But, know when you purchase ANY item of clothing or accessory....its fair game. You can TRY to lay down the rule that "I get to wear it first".....but be sure to let me know how that works out for ya! :)
5) Boys smell. No amount of soap, deodorant, febreeze, scented candles.....NOTHING can mask that of a boy. Even worse. They don't KNOW they smell. Hygiene comes natural to us girls. We want to smell pretty. To this day? I've had to say "Have you brushed your teeth and put on deodorant?" Really. Its nasty. With boys, its a learned process. If I ever get car-jacked, I can throw Sam's football shoulder pads at them and it would be considered a lethal weapon.
6) If you have one child... you are a parent. If you have more than one? You become a referee. I have one child who is quiet as a mouse. The other? Sometimes I want to yank her voicebox out of her throat. She has one tone....loud. And there is a distinction in the "my brother is aggravating me" voice and any other kind.
7) You become an ATM. Your money will most likely never be yours again. Ever. And if you have ANY thought in your head that "once my child gets out of diapers" or "out of formula" or the biggie: "When they get out of daycare".....I'll get a raise!!!! Think again. In fact? That myth makes me laugh out loud! I could write an entire post about how expensive they are.......but I'll just highlight a couple.....
* If they come to ya for a "couple of bucks".....that is a minimum of $20. And they hear "make that last" as "make that last until the end of the day."
* Name brands will kill ya. Do you hear me? Kill ya. I guess it was that way for us when we were younger. But I have kiddos begging for very expensive, very UGLY items. Exhibit A: Chacos. Toms. (Yes, I have not only bought my kiddos both. I own both for myself. Which leads me to #8 shortly)
* Sports, Dance, etc. Cost a fortune.....Lessons, travel, equipment.....I mean. a. fortune.
8) You may find yourself migrating to the fashions of these creatures. Forgetting the fact that you are 20 years older and at LEAST 20 lbs heavier. Just sayin. Don't say you won't. Because you will. I own ugly Chacos and they are completely comfortable!!! :)
9) Cell phones. This could be a separate post as well! Why they call them a phone? I don't know. Because the thing done the LEAST on them is talk. Kids don't "talk" these days. I know most teens by the top of their head that is stuck in the phone. Ri-dang-diculous. We have a rule in my home that cell phones are placed in the center of the table at meal time. After the blessing, who ever (myself included) touches their phone first, does the dishes. (or picks up the check if dining out!)
* I have held a cell phone as ransom for the majority of punishments. Works better than ANYTHING. I have one that would much rather give me his set of keys than the cell phone.
* It doesn't make you a bad parent if you monitor their usage and read their messages. In fact, my personal opinion is that it might make you one if you DON'T. These are children with an unlimited connection to the outside world. They cannot be sheltered. Period. Read their stuff folks. Just like adults.....kids feel more comfy behind a keyboard. They are no different.
* Same premise with the internet. But really....in the age of smartphones.....there is no difference. Cell phones ARE the internet.
* And be CRAZY unreasonable with the phones when they start to drive. Its not hard to catch them. My Sam hung himself....."Mom, I'm comin by your office to grab a couple of bucks for a drink." "Sam, what happened to my change from last night?" "Hang on, I'm drivin....will look in a sec." "Sam, just leave the phone on the table......" Busted. This is life or death. So act like its "life or death."
10) Know all passwords. There is no such thing as "privacy" as far as my kiddos are concerned. I exercise my right and will continue to do so until they are no longer under my roof. As long as I am responsible for any "messes" they get into? Then I have access to all information. Which brings me to #11....
11) Get on Facebook. Get on Twitter. Get on Instagram. Get on Vine. Get on Keek. (Are ya impressed that I know all of these?? hehe) Know what your kids are not only posting and seeing. But know what their FRIENDS are posting and seeing. Yep. "Creepers" are some of the best parents! :)
12) Don't feel bad if you aren't one of "those" moms, who can give them the best of cars, the best of clothes, the best of everything. Mine have my time, Everthing they NEED, and MOST of what they want. That is sufficient for two happy teens. Ask mine. And never say...."Mine would never________." They will just to prove you wrong!
13) Teach them the value of a buck. My Sammy is learning that he can blow a week's paycheck on one tank of gas. (giggling inside) He appreciates ole mom a little more now. I will spend a whole week's paycheck for choir tour spending money. Syd looked at me and said...."Really mom?" Yep. Really.
Even further, its ok if they actually WORK around the house. Mow the lawn, laundry, clean dishes, vacuum the floor. They are perfectly capable of helping. Bottom line. We ALL get more quality time.
14) You are not a bad mom if you have periodic meltdowns and sometimes in public places. Case in point: Walking into Dillards last Sat. to swimsuit shop. I told Syd....sitting in the car before we walked in....."I am NOT buying you a suit from here." She is still growing, the styles change, etc etc. I not only refuse to spend $150++ on a suit for her, but can't. I however, needed one. "Yes mom"....I got with the rolling of the eyes. After seeing all the million ones that she wanted for no less than a million bucks each, trotting off to the dressing room with half a dozen only to realize I meant what I said.....the smart mouth and the tears took over. Drama. Drama. Drama. Yes, I created this monster. The result? Neither of us got a swimsuit. I couldn't afford it for myself either. But I put my foot down like a good little mommy! :) (Yep....it hurt. And I felt like a heel!)
15) Nothing is really "lost" until mom can't find it. Teens lose everything. They forget everything. And their carelessness is CONSTANTLY an emergency for you. Even thought you swear to them you won't....you will keep bailing them out. I've saved my kiddos from more zeros, demerits and laps around the field by providing the "lost and forgotten" items.
16) You can only help them with their homework until about the 5th grade. I have a college education and get stumped with most everything since. See? You really will get dumber.
17) You will NEVER measure up to "so-in-so's" mom. "So in So" is lucky. They get to drive earlier, stay out later, go shopping more often, and go on fancy vacays several times a year. Their clothes are fancier, their cars newer and nicer, and money is no object. They also "got a worse grade than I did".....and "got in trouble also!" So-in-so.....is not you. And I am not "So-in-so's" mom. Period.
18) We have NOTHING to eat at home. Translation: I don't want what is home and want Sonic. However...you are not a horrible mom if you have "Fend for yourselves" for supper often.....grilled cheese sandwiches ARE a hot meal and cereal is nutritional. These creatures are why your life is so busy. They won't go hungry.
19). Run....don't walk from the "hardship". They will grow up and be 16 soon enough. Yep. All their friends will be driving. And they won't. So. I happily drove mine until he was legal, and continue to drive my youngest. Enjoy it actually. DO, however get the learners' permit and let them practice as early as possible. Lordy....I still hold my breath until I get word he has made it safely.
20) You might cuss. And you might cuss in front of them. And most likely...BECAUSE of them. Its all good. You're not alone. Trust me!
For the sake of time....and the fact that its midnight and all my peeps are accounted for and I'm tired. I'm stopping this list at 20. There just may be a sequel. And friends.....add to this list! I'm sure I've forgotten something. I may devote a blog post to "life of a SINGLE mom of teens"......but in all honesty.....I'm not single. I have a whole Village of folks raising these kiddos. So that is on hold. For now.
PS. My kids ARE by far the greatest blessings to me and I love them more than anything in the world. They are well-behaved and know Jesus. Our devotional and worship time is special and most likely will not be forgotten. Not always BECAUSE of me but in SPITE of me. And they are my reason I breathe everyday. The reason I sacrifice to spoil them as much as I can. I'm guilty! :) Guilty of taking my job as a mom seriously.
Hug 'em, Love 'em, and put the "BeatDown" on them as necessary. I will leave you with a cheesy quote: "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take." :) Cheese or not. How true.
Blessings!
In Him,
Terri
20) You might cuss. And you might cuss in front of them. And most likely...BECAUSE of them. Its all good. You're not alone. Trust me!
For the sake of time....and the fact that its midnight and all my peeps are accounted for and I'm tired. I'm stopping this list at 20. There just may be a sequel. And friends.....add to this list! I'm sure I've forgotten something. I may devote a blog post to "life of a SINGLE mom of teens"......but in all honesty.....I'm not single. I have a whole Village of folks raising these kiddos. So that is on hold. For now.
PS. My kids ARE by far the greatest blessings to me and I love them more than anything in the world. They are well-behaved and know Jesus. Our devotional and worship time is special and most likely will not be forgotten. Not always BECAUSE of me but in SPITE of me. And they are my reason I breathe everyday. The reason I sacrifice to spoil them as much as I can. I'm guilty! :) Guilty of taking my job as a mom seriously.
Hug 'em, Love 'em, and put the "BeatDown" on them as necessary. I will leave you with a cheesy quote: "A mother is she who can take the place of all others but whose place no one else can take." :) Cheese or not. How true.
Blessings!
In Him,
Terri
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
"Fat and Happy"
Do ya ever have one of those days when God's word just pops you RIGHT in the mouth like your momma would if you sassed her???? Yep.....That is me.
I've been struggling with some self-image issues ......really for a while....but lately, its an obsession!
First a little (ok a lot of) background....
In high school....I weighed 90 pounds soak and wet. I remember my mom and aunts (who were a little heavier set) laughing and telling me that I would "spread" someday. In fact, my mom would never allow the "one to grow on" during birthday spankings because she would always say, "Ya might grow WIDER and not taller!" haha Bible. She said that every time. And I would always giggle and think to myself...."Not me. I eat whatever I want and never gain weight." And worse. I believed that!
I finally broke 100 lbs in college and my wedding dress (20 years ago TODAY.....in fact) was a size 4 that hung off of me and had to be altered down. Those in my life to today would probably never believe that! haha.....but true story.
THEN....I had babies. BIG, beautiful babies. I weighed 180 lbs (remember I'm only 5'3") when I gave birth to a beautiful bouncing baby boy that was only 7 lbs. 9.5 oz. of that! lol Less than two years later.....I was back up there again to give birth to my sweet Sydney who weighed exactly the same amount. You get my point here.......I was fat. You couldn't tell if I was rolling or walking! :)
Attended my 10 year reunion a couple of months later, and was thankful for the excuse....."I just had a baby"......:)
Not long after that.....I began going to Weight Watcher Meetings and over the course of 6-8 months lost 57 lbs. Great Success. Not an ounce of exercise. I just counted those points. Did I do it the right way? Not a chance.....I mean, yes, I did it slowly. Never one time did I go to weigh in over that 6-8 months did I gain. Almost unheard of. I plateaued and stayed the same many weeks.....but never gained. I remember getting my 10lb ribbon....my 25 lb ribbon.....and even the biggie....the 50 lb. ribbon. All hung proudly on my fridge. When I looked in the mirror....I kinda liked what I saw.
But in reality....I wasn't doing it healthy. If I wanted to spend all my "points" on a large Sonic tater tot with cheese and a Coke. I did. That would be all I'd eat for the day. I remember eating Reece's peanut butter cups and a real Coke every morning for breakfast......counted the points. 5 to be exact.
Not exactly the breakfast of champions.
The leader of WW even approached me about possibly leading a class, after obtaining my "lifetime membership." I looked her in the eye and told her that I didn't need to lead her class. You see, like in high school, when I thought I'd never gain a lb. I guess still thought I was "above" weight loss the right way. She didn't need me telling these people that you can do it without being healthy.
I then went through some personal tragedies....divorce, death of my mom, relationship changes due to some poor choices, a move, a "clearly much too early" RE-marraige.....an early "mid-life crises" of sorts.....and THAT diet took me down to 114 lbs. I was miserable inside.....but almost had my body back!
I kept it off....or within 8-10 lbs for the next few years, without trying. May have been the chasing of kiddos to and fro, or living a miserable life.....whatever the case, I kept it off. Until I hit 35. BAM! Gained 20 lbs almost overnight. Attempted WW again. Was able to go to meetings and get off enough to meet a goal that my friend and I had of actually buying a pair of designer jeans. My first pair of "Sevens". :)
Then I hit 40.....and its gone downhill from there! I guess I must admit that most of the years I've spent worrying about my weight.....that I truly wasn't "obese" or even "fat" by society's standards. Of MOST (not all) of my friends, I've generally been one of the smallest.....But no matter. My pre-baby body is gone forever. I could usually look good in a cute outfit. But not in a swimsuit....let alone naked! haha Yes, I've carried a few too many lbs....but can usually dress up and feel "ok".
Of course, its no secret to the readers of my blog what has happened to me about this time last year. Taking it back to about 10 months before my diagnosis......I decided it was time to diet and exercise. Signed up for boot camp. Like.an.idoit. No, I don't think boot camps are a bad idea. But to go from 20+ years on the COUCH to bootcamp is pretty dumb. I made it a little over half way through, while walking 3-5 miles everyday....even working into jogging (little to start and then jogging about half of it). Did this for about 6-8 weeks. For 4. F-O-U-R measly pounds. Again....you read that right. 4 lbs. I hurt so bad and felt like I had polio for the better part of a month....and 4 pounds?????
I get it...."muscle weighs more than fat"....."I felt better"......"I most likely lost inches".....blah, blah blah. Kiss my hiney. Forget the exercise. I remember losing close to 60 lbs. From the couch. haha
So I decided to go to a weight loss doctor. He prescribed me Phentermine.....(Adipex).....and I lost 41 lbs. No, it wasn't a miracle pill. It was work. 1000 calories a day. Period. No cheating. Zero Caffiene. Zero sodas, even diet coke. And at LEAST 100 oz of water per day. Count your calories folks.....1000 isn't much. The results? I loved it. My friends noticed. I could wear my daughter's jeans. Had friends and family asking me all the time how I did it. Saw 125 again....and it felt great.
I DO think God had a hand in this. Why? The first place I lost weight was in my breasts.....which exposed my lump....etc. etc. Took a family vacation last spring break (a couple of weeks before my diagnosis) and I felt so good in my clothes, and in my pictures. Little did I know.....
Double Masectomy. Not that I was THAT attached to my breasts. But I can tell you.....no shirt looks good with out them. Whammy #1. To this day....I hate my body. I want them back. And since I can't afford my insurance.....I'm pretty certain no reconstruction anytime soon.
Chemo....aside from the hair loss, which goes without saying. I didn't rock the sick, gray, look very well.
Steriods.....blew me up like the goodyear blimp. They say they might stay in your system from 6 mos to a year. Been 7 months. Leave already!!!!!
Tanning. While I have taken advantage of some spray tans, I will never step foot in a tanning bed again. Not criticizing those who do...heck I owned one for 15 years. Just a big ole gut feeling. So that said.....the appearance of my spring wardrobe is taking another hit.
Hair. Oh Lordy my hair. I look like Billy Idol. I've colored it 5.....yes 5 times since it has started to grow back. Yes....Its maybe an inch long now. Maybe. Yes, I'm obsessed with it. I have a "cocktail" of 7.....yes SEVEN products that I use to tame this mess on a daily basis. Don't judge me. Each product is a key element and is needed. The up side? its thick and coming back almost like it was. I've just got to be patient. I'm patient with VERY little in my life.
I am now 148 lbs. No fat jokes.....I'm fragile! haha Yes, 148. And that is after losing 11 lbs this last month....BACK on the Phentermine. (Note that both my oncologist and my gyno REFUSE to prescribe it because I'm not a candidate who NEEDS it. "Be patient" they say. "You look great without it" they say. Ugggg) Why is it that most chemo patients are frail, and skinny. Not Terri. I am back to being fat. Gained almost every pound back. I have figured out the problem......More on that in a minute.
Last night, I was chatting with David after I growled at the scales. And he said what he says multiple times daily....."You are beautiful." He has said those words to me clear back to the day we met. And I give him the same reaction....."you're blind"....or "No I'm not...." or just my signature snarl with an eye-roll. He grabbed my chin and I made me look directly at him as he said to me, "Believe me. You're beautiful." Then he grabbed his belly and shook his little gut and said, "I'm fat.....and happy!" He is right. No.....I don't think he is fat. But in our contentment and "happiness"....we've packed on a few. :)
Got me to thinking about that. Since my illness. I have SO much to be "happy" about. The obvious....I beat it. My kiddos.....who are God-loving, spirit-filled, hard-working, teens that give me very little problems. David....this man never left my side. My brother....and his family, who I love and love ME, my job! I look forward to work daily. My friends.....too many to count! I have a close circle that lift me daily.....and a huge village near and far that have surrounded us with such love and support. My church and SS class.....<3 They just make my heart smile. Most of all, my salvation. I am a Child of God, saved by His grace!!! Is there anything more beautiful than a smile that exudes THAT kind of happiness and INNER beauty??????? (Nope! not really) My momma used to say..."Pretty is and pretty does....." Amen Momma!
I have been stressing about such trivial things......how will I look in a swimsuit??? Even complained for a week how UGLY Mastectomy suits were. Then I broke it down. Who Cares????? When I will have a suit on....not a soul around me will care. I'll be on a beach with my family. Or at a friend's pool who invited me for ME....not what I look like. Why stress it? Seriously....why stress it?
I've got a friend getting married soon. She has been worrying and fretting for months.....and has lost about 30 lbs. She looks beautiful. In her eyes? She needs to lose 30 more. What she forgets is....like me......everyone there on that day sees her as a beautiful bride. Sees her happiness. 30 lbs heavier or lighter.....wouldn't make a difference. Her bridesmaids, in which I have to honor to be one, and I have worried and fretted over this dress or that dress....and how we will look. We are forgetting what an honor it is to be chosen to stand beside her on HER day. She, nor anyone else, will care what WE look like. (Besides the fact that she chose beautiful ladies to begin with....inside and out....to stand with me up there....)
Another friend, who is tiny. Works out multiple times a day some days....at least 5-6 days a week. Barely eats. She is beautiful. Far from what she sees in the mirror. I would love to have her figure. I DID have her figure, a short year ago. In fact, she may disagree.....but I think my encouragement got her started back then. She has no idea how beautiful she is. The thing is....she was JUST as beautiful all those pounds ago. She is precious inside. Today she shared with me HER issues with the scales barely moving and her working so hard. "Bathing suit" season....etc.etc. And she is just as beautiful outside as inside.
My own daughter.....who is taller than me, wears a size 10 shoe, and can't fit into a size 2 or even a 4, thinks she is "fat". That makes my blood boil. Heaven help the soul whoever lets me hear them tell her that! She is beautiful.
Many others who battle the scales. Battle in the gym and in the kitchen. The greatest battle is in the mirror. Just plain made me sad. I've never lost a friend by how I look. I've never lost love from family because I was "living large". And my Jesus has certainly not left my side. In His eyes....I am pretty beautiful. I opened His word.....and found over 50 verses telling me so: Here are a few....
Matthew 23:27- Inner Beauty is what God seeks:
Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness.
1 Peter 3:3-5- A gentle and quiet spirit
And let not your adornment be merely external-- braiding the hair, and wearing gold jewelry, or putting on dresses; but let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the imperishable quality of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is precious in the sight of God. For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands.
1 Samuel 16:7- God looks at your Heart
But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not look at his appearance or at the height of his stature, because I have rejected him; for God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."
Proverbs 31:30- Fear of the Lord
Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the LORD, she shall be praised.
Ezekiel 28:17- Corrupted Wisdom
"Your heart was lifted up because of your beauty; You corrupted your wisdom by reason of your splendor. I cast you to the ground; I put you before kings, That they may see you.
Song of Songs 4:7- Beauty of a Spouse in Marriage
"You are altogether beautiful, my darling, And there is no blemish in you.
Philippians 4:8- Dwell in whatever is worth of praise
Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, let your mind dwell on these things.
Genesis 1:31- God saw Beauty in what he created
And God saw all that He had made, and behold, it was very good. And there was evening and there was morning, the sixth day.
Ecclesiastes 3:11- A heart set on eternity
He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also set eternity in their heart, yet so that man will not find out the work which God has done from the beginning even to the end.
Proverbs 20:29 (KJV)- Beauty and wisdom of those old in age.
The glory of young men is their strength : and the beauty of old men is the gray head
Then finally....this morning. While sitting at Sonic for a Happy Hour Rt. 44 water.....(munching on donut holes, feeling TERRIBLY guilty....sigh!) I read the following post from a sweet friend on FB:
"Rhonda Benson Ellis 4 hours ago near Conway, AR ·
Yesterday, my friend Libby and I were talking about how we, even Christian, women have bought Satan's lie that we must be OUTWARDLY beautiful to be of any value or attraction to our husbands, families, or society, no matter how much we serve and minister. As I pondered this, I became especially concerned about being beautiful only to the love of my life. Then I get a text this morning from Libby's husband. You see, he had overheard our conversation, and needed to remind us what REAL beauty is! It read, "favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised! ". There ya go, can't argue with the word of God! It seems that, though I struggle with my weight, and Libby is struggling with loosing her hair to chemo treatments, that these Godly husbands love us for what's inside, not outside! (Sorry ladies, these two awesome husbands are taken! ;) ). So that leads me to my conversation with God this morning. I was talking to God about my health. I'm ready to buckle down, get back in the gym everyday, and take off these extra pounds I've put on since my hip replacement. and then, God with his sense of humor and perfect timing, led me to this blog post, which is amazing! Read it: www.fancylittlethings.com/2013/03/measuringu/.
So my bottom line is this: ladies, be the best, healthiest woman God has created you to be, not who you think you have to be compared to everyone else. And men, tell and show your wives how much you love them because they are who God created and gave to you! That's a liberating and powerful truth right from God's word!"
Yesterday, my friend Libby and I were talking about how we, even Christian, women have bought Satan's lie that we must be OUTWARDLY beautiful to be of any value or attraction to our husbands, families, or society, no matter how much we serve and minister. As I pondered this, I became especially concerned about being beautiful only to the love of my life. Then I get a text this morning from Libby's husband. You see, he had overheard our conversation, and needed to remind us what REAL beauty is! It read, "favor is deceitful, and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised! ". There ya go, can't argue with the word of God! It seems that, though I struggle with my weight, and Libby is struggling with loosing her hair to chemo treatments, that these Godly husbands love us for what's inside, not outside! (Sorry ladies, these two awesome husbands are taken! ;) ). So that leads me to my conversation with God this morning. I was talking to God about my health. I'm ready to buckle down, get back in the gym everyday, and take off these extra pounds I've put on since my hip replacement. and then, God with his sense of humor and perfect timing, led me to this blog post, which is amazing! Read it: www.fancylittlethings.com/2013/03/measuringu/.
So my bottom line is this: ladies, be the best, healthiest woman God has created you to be, not who you think you have to be compared to everyone else. And men, tell and show your wives how much you love them because they are who God created and gave to you! That's a liberating and powerful truth right from God's word!"
Sounds like others are also digging into the Word to get through these struggles. We don't need an app to track calories, or a pill, or the gym, or to look good in a bathing suit. We need a servant's heart and to be saved in His grace and finally to share that grace with the world!!! Yes....I agree. We need to treat our bodies like the temple it is and to make healthy decisions. But for the right reasons. Not the wrong ones. When we delve in.....we may be "fat".....but just look at "Happy" we will be??? :)
I know I've been wordy. But read this blog. The link is below. It just may change your life too.
http://www.fancylittlethings.com/2013/03/measuringu/
Thinking I may just chunk the scales.....anyone with me???? God has spoken to me loud and clear.
Blessings for a wonderful week...my BEAUTIFUL friends.....
In Him,
Terri
Thinking I may just chunk the scales.....anyone with me???? God has spoken to me loud and clear.
Blessings for a wonderful week...my BEAUTIFUL friends.....
In Him,
Terri
Tuesday, May 14, 2013
Pure Randomness
This blog is most likely going to have zero impact on anyone ever. Pure randomness and a complete waste of time. But I need to write. Therapy at its best. My thoughts lately.......
A&F:
Mike Jeffries is a first class jerk. If you don't know who he is.....CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, who responded to the request of making a line for larger people..... Paraphrasing here...."No, we only go after the cool, skinny kids......Not everyone belongs in our clothes......blah blah blah!" This article should catch you up....
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-taney-humphreys/a-message-to-abercrombies_b_3245941.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
This news just sent me over the edge. I am totally embarrassed by all the A&F items in the closets of my children. I will tell you this....you won't find them wearing ANY of it again....nor will I even walk in the store. Funny....I saw someone posting an Abercrombie shirt on one of the facebook "Online Garage Sales"......Sweetie, you couldn't pay ME to wear it much less buy it from ya! Sara Taney Humphries, thank you for taking a stand.....and that is coming from a former skinny, cheerleader, sorority girl -- not necessarily "cool" or "popular" by HIS standards but that had lots of friends and loved high school and college. You nailed it, sister!
What in the world is this coming to? My first thought is that I hope nobody every shops there again.....then I realize that there are many employed by him that would be innocently affected. Although, why someone would WANT to work for a company that stands on these principals, I don't know. My NEXT thought is to hope he has to go on a massive amount of steroids that makes him blow up like a balloon...... then I realize that wishing those things upon him makes me not much better than he is. I guess I just have to have faith in the biblical declaration of "karma".....that he will indeed "reap what he sows..." hmmmmmm.......nope, that isn't practicing kindness either.
What a sad, miserable existence this man must have. So today.....I prayed for the jerk. Yep. Sure did. Still think he is a jerk.
Blue Cross / Blue Shield:
This wonderful (insert TOTAL sarcasm here)....health insurance company that sadly has the monopoly on the state of Arkansas has done it to me again. :( Not only have they not paid one dime for a complete year (stating that my breast cancer was a "pre-existing condition"), they have now raised my premium and I'm facing cancellation. Oddly enough, about the same time that the Pre-existing clause was lifted. Yes.....this is how it went:
1) Applied for insurance March of Last year. Went through their complete screening process, complete with bloodwork and physical.
2) Received Insurance policy effective April 15, 2012.
3) Immediately scheduled a yearly physical with my ob/gyn since it had been so long....(Had put it off due to not having insurance.) 4/23
4) Lump was found and sent for immediate mammogram......and anyone who has followed my blog and my journey knows the rest. The thing is.....they denied all my treatments, surgeries, etc., stating a pre-existing condition despite 2 doctors writing letters on my behalf, and several appeals. Cra....zzzyyy.
5) I continued to pay my premiums each month. Even though the insurance was basically worthless. The only thing it helped me with was my meds that I took at home throughout treatments.
6) April 15, 2013 -- Pre-existing waiting period expires. Last week.....They want $417.00 for a premium. I cannot afford to keep this policy at that rate. And am facing cancellation. Nor will I be able to get any insurance. How is this fair???? Evil. Just evil. Haven't found the strength to pray for them just yet. Still workin on that one. I work. I try to pay my bills. What gives????? :(
This coupled with the fact that I learned that my sales tax wasn't financed in on my vehicle and I have to pay it. AND I received a $1,354.00 Gas bill from Centerpoint from a gas leak. Syd needs about 600 more bucks for dance uniforms and both are leaving for choir tour in less than a month, Sam needs contacts....AND we are trying to take a vacation during dead weeks (since that is the only time all summer that neither kid has any activities.) Thankfully, our housing for that is paid. As you can see....lots of prayers and pencils at work trying to stretch my dollars.....Sigh.
Sambo got a job!!! :)
Very proud of my Sammy. Got his first job at Old Navy. Discounts and Gas money!!! And they will work around his sports and church activities. He hasn't even started yet and we already have a dilemma....:( Went something like this:
1) He had an interview on Saturday, May 4.
2) Called to offer him the job later that week.
3) Scheduled the first 2 of 3 orientation days to be Wed and Fri of this week. (At this time, Benton baseball was in state tournament, with championship game to be played at Baum on the 18th.)
Sam is distraught, worried that he will have conflict with Fri orientation and trip with team to Fayetteville. I assured him....we would make it work even if I had to drive him down myself.
4) Monday last week....Sam learns of Spring Football game.....yep! you guessed it.....Friday. ugggggg.....how does a kid be at 2 mandatory places and the same time????
5) So....Tuesday, I place a call to the manager and explain the issue. He is very nice and accommodating. Since the orientation involves more newbies than just Sam, he made contact with them to move the orientation to Thursday.....the only thing is that Sam will have to miss part of football practice that day. Not ideal but do-able. All worked out.
6) Saturday....Panthers lose in semi's. :( Broken-hearted Sam....but the up-side? No conflicts with Old Navy stuff.
7) Sunday -- Sam gets text from Football coach that Spring game is moved to Monday. Sigh. Ok...no worries....except that it conflicts with Baseball Banquet. Shoot me now. We would just have to find a way to do both......
8) Monday (today).....Sam comes in and tells me that I don't have to worry about "doing both" because they moved the Spring Game to....you guessed it....THURSDAY!!! REALLY.....shoot me now. Now...we are faced with calling the Old Navy Manager BACK to ask if we can move it back to Friday....where we started originally???? The child may be fired before he starts. :( May seem trivial....but please pray that these "little worries" stop so that I may focus on the bigger ones? Momma.needs.a.break.
Angelina Jolie:
http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/angelina-jolie-reveals-preventative-double-mastectomy-064002088.html
This article needs no words.....What courage! Wish my "insurance" could pay for my genetic test....maybe one day I will get the results. :( Very disheartening that there are results of a test out there that I cannot have due to the almighty dollar. I know many with this story. Something is very wrong with this world.
These drops in the bucket that I've vented about are just a smidgen of what's going on with me lately. I've been a bit depressed. Ok...severely depressed. These things, coupled with "Mother's Day," have me in the dumps. Very grateful for my kiddos....who are my light. David....who is precious. My brother...who is my rock and constant source of strength. My friends who love me anyway.....And most importantly my Savior.....who continues to carry me. One way or another....I know it will all be ok.
I have yet another friend who is beginning the BC journey.....So prayer warriors lift her up. God knows her sweet name. And as I do everyday....please protect my babygirl and those you love around you......and pray for a cure. Also, please pray for another friend's father......who didn't receive the greatest news this past week either. Cancer bites.
Tonight has been spent in a "battle of the pix" between my little brother and I on facebook......has felt good to laugh.....even at my own expense! :) Love u little brother......and Thanks! :)
Please keep this kiddos and I in your prayers as we continue to muddle our way through this little earthly life......:)
In Him,
Terri
A&F:
Mike Jeffries is a first class jerk. If you don't know who he is.....CEO of Abercrombie & Fitch, who responded to the request of making a line for larger people..... Paraphrasing here...."No, we only go after the cool, skinny kids......Not everyone belongs in our clothes......blah blah blah!" This article should catch you up....
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/sara-taney-humphreys/a-message-to-abercrombies_b_3245941.html?utm_hp_ref=fb&src=sp&comm_ref=false
This news just sent me over the edge. I am totally embarrassed by all the A&F items in the closets of my children. I will tell you this....you won't find them wearing ANY of it again....nor will I even walk in the store. Funny....I saw someone posting an Abercrombie shirt on one of the facebook "Online Garage Sales"......Sweetie, you couldn't pay ME to wear it much less buy it from ya! Sara Taney Humphries, thank you for taking a stand.....and that is coming from a former skinny, cheerleader, sorority girl -- not necessarily "cool" or "popular" by HIS standards but that had lots of friends and loved high school and college. You nailed it, sister!
What in the world is this coming to? My first thought is that I hope nobody every shops there again.....then I realize that there are many employed by him that would be innocently affected. Although, why someone would WANT to work for a company that stands on these principals, I don't know. My NEXT thought is to hope he has to go on a massive amount of steroids that makes him blow up like a balloon...... then I realize that wishing those things upon him makes me not much better than he is. I guess I just have to have faith in the biblical declaration of "karma".....that he will indeed "reap what he sows..." hmmmmmm.......nope, that isn't practicing kindness either.
What a sad, miserable existence this man must have. So today.....I prayed for the jerk. Yep. Sure did. Still think he is a jerk.
Blue Cross / Blue Shield:
This wonderful (insert TOTAL sarcasm here)....health insurance company that sadly has the monopoly on the state of Arkansas has done it to me again. :( Not only have they not paid one dime for a complete year (stating that my breast cancer was a "pre-existing condition"), they have now raised my premium and I'm facing cancellation. Oddly enough, about the same time that the Pre-existing clause was lifted. Yes.....this is how it went:
1) Applied for insurance March of Last year. Went through their complete screening process, complete with bloodwork and physical.
2) Received Insurance policy effective April 15, 2012.
3) Immediately scheduled a yearly physical with my ob/gyn since it had been so long....(Had put it off due to not having insurance.) 4/23
4) Lump was found and sent for immediate mammogram......and anyone who has followed my blog and my journey knows the rest. The thing is.....they denied all my treatments, surgeries, etc., stating a pre-existing condition despite 2 doctors writing letters on my behalf, and several appeals. Cra....zzzyyy.
5) I continued to pay my premiums each month. Even though the insurance was basically worthless. The only thing it helped me with was my meds that I took at home throughout treatments.
6) April 15, 2013 -- Pre-existing waiting period expires. Last week.....They want $417.00 for a premium. I cannot afford to keep this policy at that rate. And am facing cancellation. Nor will I be able to get any insurance. How is this fair???? Evil. Just evil. Haven't found the strength to pray for them just yet. Still workin on that one. I work. I try to pay my bills. What gives????? :(
This coupled with the fact that I learned that my sales tax wasn't financed in on my vehicle and I have to pay it. AND I received a $1,354.00 Gas bill from Centerpoint from a gas leak. Syd needs about 600 more bucks for dance uniforms and both are leaving for choir tour in less than a month, Sam needs contacts....AND we are trying to take a vacation during dead weeks (since that is the only time all summer that neither kid has any activities.) Thankfully, our housing for that is paid. As you can see....lots of prayers and pencils at work trying to stretch my dollars.....Sigh.
Sambo got a job!!! :)
Very proud of my Sammy. Got his first job at Old Navy. Discounts and Gas money!!! And they will work around his sports and church activities. He hasn't even started yet and we already have a dilemma....:( Went something like this:
1) He had an interview on Saturday, May 4.
2) Called to offer him the job later that week.
3) Scheduled the first 2 of 3 orientation days to be Wed and Fri of this week. (At this time, Benton baseball was in state tournament, with championship game to be played at Baum on the 18th.)
Sam is distraught, worried that he will have conflict with Fri orientation and trip with team to Fayetteville. I assured him....we would make it work even if I had to drive him down myself.
4) Monday last week....Sam learns of Spring Football game.....yep! you guessed it.....Friday. ugggggg.....how does a kid be at 2 mandatory places and the same time????
5) So....Tuesday, I place a call to the manager and explain the issue. He is very nice and accommodating. Since the orientation involves more newbies than just Sam, he made contact with them to move the orientation to Thursday.....the only thing is that Sam will have to miss part of football practice that day. Not ideal but do-able. All worked out.
6) Saturday....Panthers lose in semi's. :( Broken-hearted Sam....but the up-side? No conflicts with Old Navy stuff.
7) Sunday -- Sam gets text from Football coach that Spring game is moved to Monday. Sigh. Ok...no worries....except that it conflicts with Baseball Banquet. Shoot me now. We would just have to find a way to do both......
8) Monday (today).....Sam comes in and tells me that I don't have to worry about "doing both" because they moved the Spring Game to....you guessed it....THURSDAY!!! REALLY.....shoot me now. Now...we are faced with calling the Old Navy Manager BACK to ask if we can move it back to Friday....where we started originally???? The child may be fired before he starts. :( May seem trivial....but please pray that these "little worries" stop so that I may focus on the bigger ones? Momma.needs.a.break.
Angelina Jolie:
http://omg.yahoo.com/blogs/celeb-news/angelina-jolie-reveals-preventative-double-mastectomy-064002088.html
This article needs no words.....What courage! Wish my "insurance" could pay for my genetic test....maybe one day I will get the results. :( Very disheartening that there are results of a test out there that I cannot have due to the almighty dollar. I know many with this story. Something is very wrong with this world.
These drops in the bucket that I've vented about are just a smidgen of what's going on with me lately. I've been a bit depressed. Ok...severely depressed. These things, coupled with "Mother's Day," have me in the dumps. Very grateful for my kiddos....who are my light. David....who is precious. My brother...who is my rock and constant source of strength. My friends who love me anyway.....And most importantly my Savior.....who continues to carry me. One way or another....I know it will all be ok.
I have yet another friend who is beginning the BC journey.....So prayer warriors lift her up. God knows her sweet name. And as I do everyday....please protect my babygirl and those you love around you......and pray for a cure. Also, please pray for another friend's father......who didn't receive the greatest news this past week either. Cancer bites.
Tonight has been spent in a "battle of the pix" between my little brother and I on facebook......has felt good to laugh.....even at my own expense! :) Love u little brother......and Thanks! :)
Please keep this kiddos and I in your prayers as we continue to muddle our way through this little earthly life......:)
In Him,
Terri
Monday, April 22, 2013
My Closet
For some reason, in my house....the master bedroom has the smallest closet in the house. Cra....zy. I'm not one of those people that store all my winter things during the summer, and vice versa in the winter. I like all my "stuff" in the same place. Especially living in Arkansas.....We go from Uggs to flip flops in 2.5 seconds.
Sydney and I can now share most things. So that said.....I can never find a thing I'm looking for. Drives me bananas. So yesterday....I started organizing. From the top to the bottom....I was determined to find everything and get this mess straightened out. Windows open....KLove on the radio. Here we go.......
I guess you can tell ALOT about a person by what you find "in their closet". I certainly didn't realize what an emotional ride it was going to take me on.....
I started out aggrivated.....Folks, I had a mess. Was forced to start at the bottom so I could even get in the door. Pulled everything out....Boots on one side.....flats on the other.....pumps......flip flops.....sandals.....you get the idea. Brought in a large tub with the intent of getting rid of some things.
Started pulling out sweaters.....lack of space is forcing me to separate my "stuff".....and hoodies....and jackets.....etc. Soon my bed was a mile high with all my stacks.
As I began my journey.....I found it hard to part with so many things. And soon I was up and down with emotion.
* Ran across my momma's jewelry box. Yellowed with age. Nothing in it of monitary value. (my dad's 2nd wife made sure of that....note anger here.) But so many things she had kept. I peeked in and saw a couple of costume things....a newpaper article of when I was in the Miss Arkansas pageant and another of when I announced my engagement......also a picture of my little brother when he got his black belt in Taekwondo. A cigar that says "Its a boy" from when my little brother was born.....just things. I didn't dwell too long....or I wouldn't have gotten anything done. I miss her so very much.
* Next....as I was pulling things out....I saw things with tags on it. SCORE!!!! New outfit for free! Ladies....you know that feeling. :) Then I checked the tag. Small. Yea right!!! I'm sure many of you know THAT feeling as well. I went from happy to ticked faster than the speed of light. Gotta get the weight off....Gotta get the weight off....Gotta get the weight off......I'll start Monday.
* That feeling held on a while as I was finding all my pretty spring tops and dresses from last year. Pre-surgery.....Pre "Put on 20 lbs"......sigh. Yep. Gonna start Monday. One of these days, after I get this weight off....I may pull out my boobs....:) Yes....literally. For they are now located in a box in the top left corner on the top shelf. I love these clothes.
* Kept on pressing on and found all my "Cubs Blue" hoodies, tshirts and such. (Sam's USSSA tournament team he played on for years) What memories. I sat and played over in my mind a few memories of all the wonderful times from our "cubs days". Some of the best friendships.....kids and parents.....that have and will stand the test of time. Even though now.....Cubs blue becomes "Bryant blue" hence, I will never have it on my body....hehehe (To my Bryant friends....I love ya...BUT!) Just couldn't part with it.
* I now come across all the "Panther" stuff. I now have a whole drawer dedicated to that. From baseball, basketball, football, dance.....I have a complete wardrobe. I am however....the biggest fan to a couple of special kiddos. Memories memories.
* My fire safe.....that holds absolutley nothing except a few important papers, my mother's journal, and all of my prescription meds. I look at it and giggle to myself that I have a safe but not much of monitary value to put IN the safe. Then I kinda go back to aggrivated that we live in a world where sick people have to lock up their meds. Grrrrrr.......
* My underwear drawer. Yep....getting personal here. 14 bras. Perfectly good Victoria Secret/Jockey bras. I looked at that empty tub. Nope. Can't do it. Just folded them neatly and placed right back in the drawer. Not ready for that just yet. or ever.....
* I then found my "hat basket"....So many....86 to be exact....that I had to get a "bigger" basket. I touched each and every one. Most were gifts. I don't have to tell you how special they are to me. They take me to the roughest battle I've ever faced. Only had a wig on my head a time or two....I was a hat girl. Brings to mind those close to me who are in the midst of their fight.....Hallie, Mr. David, Amy C.'s mom, Amy B. and so many others that are where I have been. I stopped right then.....with my dogs barking at my window to come in.....the mower next door going.....the chainsaw noise across the street.....and my two wonderful kiddos arguing in the next room.....and prayed for each by name. I then felt peace because I know that God is going to bring them to this place. The place I am now. Tuesday of this week will have been a year since my diagnosis. Boy what can happen in a year. For the record.....I plan to wear some hats this week. I think they are a "crutch" of sorts. Not ONE of them are going into the tub......which is still empty at this point! lol
* Next.....I came across my bridesmaid dress for Gina's wedding. I am hosting her shower at my house next weekend which first prompted the spring cleaning idea. (My peeps are Oh so thrilled....) I am so happy that she found love and said a little prayer for them. Also threw a prayer up there that I can somehow look decent in this dress beside my beautiful friends. I'm a sight right now. Picture a twelve year old with bleach blonde spikey hair with a hind end as big as Texas. That's me! Again....Monday....diet day. Also....sent a text to hairdresser. Gotta tone down the hair.
* Tshirts. Lordy. I should just chunk them all! right???? wrong. I came across 13 "something for the cure" shirts that others have sent to me where they have "walked, ran, pledged, donated, done "something" in my honor. Awesome. They are now folded neatly on my shelf. Along with many other BC awareness shirts. On top is my personal favorite....."Team Terri" shirt from the Race for the cure. Another memory that I will never forget. Over 100 members joined me in walking for their hero. And our team walked among thousands.
* I found my 20 year reunion Tshirt from the "Class of 89" at Newport High. Made me miss my Sandy and all my Newport buds. Then I sat for a second remembering Newport. How so many reached out to me over the past year. And how I can't wait to attend our 25....our 30......Yep. Diet starts Monday! hehehe
* I came across my "cruise clothes" from spring break last year. The best family vacation ever! With the best of old friends.....and the making of new ones. Was diagnosed a week later. I think the Lord provided that week....because he KNEW what fight I was about to start. Memories. Memories!
* On the front are my "fat clothes".....Thank GOD for pikos. They are "boxy" and hide everything! This little section will get me through. Soon THESE clothes will be too big. :)
I ended this "closet extravaganza" which lasted about 4 hours......exhausted. Alot of memories in that little space. I also ended it with an empty tub. lol That will have to be for another day. It is neat as a pin....and got dressed for church this morning in record time. As I look at each little shelf.....up and down....to the right and left.....I smiled to myself. Because that space is all mine. To others...its just an ordinary closet with "stuff". To me? It's much more. Thank you God! :)
Luke 2:19: "But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart."
In Him,
Terri
Sydney and I can now share most things. So that said.....I can never find a thing I'm looking for. Drives me bananas. So yesterday....I started organizing. From the top to the bottom....I was determined to find everything and get this mess straightened out. Windows open....KLove on the radio. Here we go.......
I guess you can tell ALOT about a person by what you find "in their closet". I certainly didn't realize what an emotional ride it was going to take me on.....
I started out aggrivated.....Folks, I had a mess. Was forced to start at the bottom so I could even get in the door. Pulled everything out....Boots on one side.....flats on the other.....pumps......flip flops.....sandals.....you get the idea. Brought in a large tub with the intent of getting rid of some things.
Started pulling out sweaters.....lack of space is forcing me to separate my "stuff".....and hoodies....and jackets.....etc. Soon my bed was a mile high with all my stacks.
As I began my journey.....I found it hard to part with so many things. And soon I was up and down with emotion.
* Ran across my momma's jewelry box. Yellowed with age. Nothing in it of monitary value. (my dad's 2nd wife made sure of that....note anger here.) But so many things she had kept. I peeked in and saw a couple of costume things....a newpaper article of when I was in the Miss Arkansas pageant and another of when I announced my engagement......also a picture of my little brother when he got his black belt in Taekwondo. A cigar that says "Its a boy" from when my little brother was born.....just things. I didn't dwell too long....or I wouldn't have gotten anything done. I miss her so very much.
* Next....as I was pulling things out....I saw things with tags on it. SCORE!!!! New outfit for free! Ladies....you know that feeling. :) Then I checked the tag. Small. Yea right!!! I'm sure many of you know THAT feeling as well. I went from happy to ticked faster than the speed of light. Gotta get the weight off....Gotta get the weight off....Gotta get the weight off......I'll start Monday.
* That feeling held on a while as I was finding all my pretty spring tops and dresses from last year. Pre-surgery.....Pre "Put on 20 lbs"......sigh. Yep. Gonna start Monday. One of these days, after I get this weight off....I may pull out my boobs....:) Yes....literally. For they are now located in a box in the top left corner on the top shelf. I love these clothes.
* Kept on pressing on and found all my "Cubs Blue" hoodies, tshirts and such. (Sam's USSSA tournament team he played on for years) What memories. I sat and played over in my mind a few memories of all the wonderful times from our "cubs days". Some of the best friendships.....kids and parents.....that have and will stand the test of time. Even though now.....Cubs blue becomes "Bryant blue" hence, I will never have it on my body....hehehe (To my Bryant friends....I love ya...BUT!) Just couldn't part with it.
* I now come across all the "Panther" stuff. I now have a whole drawer dedicated to that. From baseball, basketball, football, dance.....I have a complete wardrobe. I am however....the biggest fan to a couple of special kiddos. Memories memories.
* My fire safe.....that holds absolutley nothing except a few important papers, my mother's journal, and all of my prescription meds. I look at it and giggle to myself that I have a safe but not much of monitary value to put IN the safe. Then I kinda go back to aggrivated that we live in a world where sick people have to lock up their meds. Grrrrrr.......
* My underwear drawer. Yep....getting personal here. 14 bras. Perfectly good Victoria Secret/Jockey bras. I looked at that empty tub. Nope. Can't do it. Just folded them neatly and placed right back in the drawer. Not ready for that just yet. or ever.....
* I then found my "hat basket"....So many....86 to be exact....that I had to get a "bigger" basket. I touched each and every one. Most were gifts. I don't have to tell you how special they are to me. They take me to the roughest battle I've ever faced. Only had a wig on my head a time or two....I was a hat girl. Brings to mind those close to me who are in the midst of their fight.....Hallie, Mr. David, Amy C.'s mom, Amy B. and so many others that are where I have been. I stopped right then.....with my dogs barking at my window to come in.....the mower next door going.....the chainsaw noise across the street.....and my two wonderful kiddos arguing in the next room.....and prayed for each by name. I then felt peace because I know that God is going to bring them to this place. The place I am now. Tuesday of this week will have been a year since my diagnosis. Boy what can happen in a year. For the record.....I plan to wear some hats this week. I think they are a "crutch" of sorts. Not ONE of them are going into the tub......which is still empty at this point! lol
* Next.....I came across my bridesmaid dress for Gina's wedding. I am hosting her shower at my house next weekend which first prompted the spring cleaning idea. (My peeps are Oh so thrilled....) I am so happy that she found love and said a little prayer for them. Also threw a prayer up there that I can somehow look decent in this dress beside my beautiful friends. I'm a sight right now. Picture a twelve year old with bleach blonde spikey hair with a hind end as big as Texas. That's me! Again....Monday....diet day. Also....sent a text to hairdresser. Gotta tone down the hair.
* Tshirts. Lordy. I should just chunk them all! right???? wrong. I came across 13 "something for the cure" shirts that others have sent to me where they have "walked, ran, pledged, donated, done "something" in my honor. Awesome. They are now folded neatly on my shelf. Along with many other BC awareness shirts. On top is my personal favorite....."Team Terri" shirt from the Race for the cure. Another memory that I will never forget. Over 100 members joined me in walking for their hero. And our team walked among thousands.
* I found my 20 year reunion Tshirt from the "Class of 89" at Newport High. Made me miss my Sandy and all my Newport buds. Then I sat for a second remembering Newport. How so many reached out to me over the past year. And how I can't wait to attend our 25....our 30......Yep. Diet starts Monday! hehehe
* I came across my "cruise clothes" from spring break last year. The best family vacation ever! With the best of old friends.....and the making of new ones. Was diagnosed a week later. I think the Lord provided that week....because he KNEW what fight I was about to start. Memories. Memories!
* On the front are my "fat clothes".....Thank GOD for pikos. They are "boxy" and hide everything! This little section will get me through. Soon THESE clothes will be too big. :)
I ended this "closet extravaganza" which lasted about 4 hours......exhausted. Alot of memories in that little space. I also ended it with an empty tub. lol That will have to be for another day. It is neat as a pin....and got dressed for church this morning in record time. As I look at each little shelf.....up and down....to the right and left.....I smiled to myself. Because that space is all mine. To others...its just an ordinary closet with "stuff". To me? It's much more. Thank you God! :)
Luke 2:19: "But Mary treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart."
In Him,
Terri
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)